


Fuck You Goatman has added: Fuck off, A Single Man Tear, Imapla67, Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge and 19 others to Hell Chat

by ClaireOhYutaYong



Category: Supernatural
Genre: A lot - Freeform, Benny Lafitte & Dean Winchester Friendship, Benny Lafitte's Accent, Buzzfeed Unsolved References, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Charlie Bradbury is the definition of chaotic good, Chatting & Messaging, Dean Winchester Has Internalized Biphobia, Dean Winchester Has a Crush on Castiel, Eileen Leahy Lives, Everybody Lives, Everyone Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, F/M, Gabriel Has a Crush on Sam Winchester, Gabriel is Bad at Feelings (Supernatural), Gabriel is So Done (Supernatural), Gabriel is a Little Shit, Gabriel is scared of Kevin Tran, Gabriel is the definition of chaotic neutral, Hell Chat, Homophobic John Winchester, Hunger Games Simulator, Hurt Gabriel (Supernatural), I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I miss Mick Davies, I will keep adding tags as I go along, Internalized Biphobia, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Kevin Tran is So Done, Kevin Tran is concerning, Kevin Tran is the cause of Sam Winchester's concern, Lots of Buzzfeed Unsolved References, Lucifer and Michael Fight (Supernatural), M/M, No Beta, No Plot/Plotless, Not Canon Compliant, Not Ship focused, Out of Character, Sam Winchester Fucked Up, Sam Winchester Has a Crush on Gabriel, Sam Winchester Ships Castiel/Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester Thinks That Gabriel Hates Him, Sam Winchester is Not Amused, Sam Winchester is So Done with Gabriel, Sam Winchester is concerned, Supportive Benny Lafitte, This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things, Vines, We Die Like Men, fuck john winchester, how the fuck did angst get here, let's see where this goes, no ones dead, pure crackhead energy, why is there angst? i have no idea
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:28:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 34
Words: 47,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24015208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ClaireOhYutaYong/pseuds/ClaireOhYutaYong
Summary: So I randomly decided that I wanted to do a Supernatural chat fic for no reason whatsoever other than I’m in quarantine and don’t want to do school work so fuck it I’m writing this.THEY ARE ALL OUT OF CHARACTER AND ON CRACK - The only exceptions are Charlie, Gabriel and maybe Claire because they are all already on crack.EVERYONE IS ALIVE except John and MaryNO PLOTAs I get further along in the series I will add more characters, ie the princes when I get there
Relationships: Anna Milton/Dean Winchester (Mentioned), Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Meg Masters (mentioned), Gabriel/Sam Winchester, Ruby/Sam Winchester (mentioned) - Relationship
Comments: 123
Kudos: 195





	1. Chapter 1 - Fuck You Goatman: Welcome to the Hell Chat

_**Fuck You Goatman** has added: **Fuck off, A Single Man Tear, Imapla67, Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge** and 19 others to **Hell Chat**_

**Fuck You Goatman:** Welcome to the Hell Chat

 **Impala67:** What the fuck is this?

 **Fuck You Goatman:** A Hell chat obviously

 **Impala67:** Yeah no shit and who the fuck are you? Who are all of you? How did you get my number?!?!

 **Fuck You Goatman:** Guess

 **Fuck You Goatman:** I have my ways

 **What’s Going On-On:** Why am I getting so many notifications?

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** I didn’t think you’d actually do it

 **Fuck You Goatman:** Bold of you to assume I wouldn’t

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Straight facts

 **Fuck You Goatman:** There’s nothing straight about me

 **What’s Going On-On:** Why are there two goatmans?

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Excuse you but we are Shane not Goatman

 **Fuck You Goatman:** ^^^^ Also where are the demons?

 **I’m Awesome:** I’m here

 **Fuck You Crowley:** I’m here just lurking

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** HEY THERE DEMONS ITS ME YA BOI

 **Fuck You Goatman:** HEY THERE DEMONS ITS ME YA BOI

 **It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** HEY THERE DEMONS ITS ME YA BOI

 **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** HEY THERE DEMONS ITS ME YA BOI

 **Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** HEY THERE DEMONS ITS ME YA BOI

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** HEY THERE DEMONS ITS ME YA BOI

 **Fuck You Crowley:** What The Fuck

 **King of Hell:** I’m so offended

 **Fuck You Crowley:** Good

 **Impala67:** OKAY WHO IS EVERYBODY AND WHY ARE THERE 24 OF US

 **Fuck You Goatman:** Hi I’m Gabriel nice to meet you and who the fuck are you? Also we need to explain our names. Mines Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 3 Episode 4 The Demonic Goatman’s Bridge Timestamp 6:27

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** I’m your friendly neighbourhood nerd Charlie. Mines Buzzfeed Unsolved Supernatural Season 3 Episode 4 The Demonic Goatman’s Bridge Timestamp 6:40.

 **Impala67:** I’m Dean and I love baby.

 **Fuck You Goatman:** Why am I not surprised?

 **Fuck You Crowley:** Meg. Do I need to explain myself?

 **I’m Awesome:** Ruby. I just am.

 **Impala67** : No you’re not fuck you.

 **King of Hell:** Fuck you Meg. I don’t need to explain my name or who I am.

 **Fuck You Crowley:** My name is my response.

 **It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Jo and It’s My Life

 **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Kevin and I’m Just A Kid and life is a nightmare

 **Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** Claire and Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.

 **Fuck You Goatman:** But you are a teenager

 **Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** Your point????

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Alex and I’m not a vampire.

 **I’m the one who raised you from perdition:** I’m Castiel and I’ve raised Sam and Dean from perdition.

 **I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt princess:** Bobby and I don’t give a fuck.

 **Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** My name is Michael. Also I still hate you Sam.

 **What’s Going On-On:** Anna and my name is me in most situations.

 **We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Garth and #notallwerewolves

 **The Responsible One:** Ellen and I'm the responsible one here.

 **The Other Responsible One:** Jody and same.

 **Why am I here?:** I am Raphael and I do not understand why I am here.

 **Fuck You Goatman:** Because I want to spend time with you broski. Also #relatable Anna.

 **Fuck the Grand Coven:** Rowena and I do what I want.

 **I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Abaddon and I am the true Queen of Hell

 **Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009):** Balthazar and I’m simply spreading the truth.

 **I’m the one who raised you from perdition:** Incorrect

 **Fuck You Goatman:** Lucifer where are you?! It’s your turn.

 **Fuck off:** <

 **Fuck You Goatman:** >:( You make me sad

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** HOW DARE YOU

_**Fuck off** has left the chat_

_**Fuck You Goatman** added **Fuck off** to the chat: **Hell Chat**_

**Fuck You Goatman:** You cannot escape!!

 **Fuck off:** FUCK

 **A Single Man Tear:** gUYS ITS TWO IN THE MORNING WTF

 **A Single Man Tear:** Also I’m Sam and that one time there was a musical about us. Also fuck you too Michael

 **Impala67:** AND WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU UP?

 **A Single Man Tear:** WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU UP?!

 **Impala67** : Because I never sleep

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** PENGUINS NEVER SLEEP

 **Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009):** WHAT THE FUCK

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** You dare question me?

 **Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009):** Fair enough

**I Am Your Father:** Why am I in this chat? I’m Chuck


	2. Chapter 2 - Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge: Y’all know the Hunger Games?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters:
> 
> Impala67 - Dean
> 
> A Single Man Tear - Sam
> 
> I’m the one who raised you from perdition - Castiel
> 
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby
> 
> Fuck off - Lucifer
> 
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael
> 
> Fuck You Goatman - Gabriel
> 
> Why am I here? - Raphael
> 
> King of Hell - Crowley
> 
> Fuck you Crowley - Meg
> 
> I’m Awesome - Ruby
> 
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena
> 
> The Responsible One - Ellen
> 
> The Other Responsible One - Jody
> 
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo
> 
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin
> 
> Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006) - Claire
> 
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex
> 
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth
> 
> Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009) - Balthazar
> 
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon
> 
> Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge - Charlie
> 
> What’s Going On-On? - Anna
> 
> I Am Your Father - Chuck

**Fuck off:** Ew this chat still exists

**Impala67:** Ew you still exist

**Fuck off:** I came out here to have a good time and I’m suddenly feeling so attacked right now.

**Impala67:** GOOD

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Y’all know the Hunger Games?

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** Bold of you to assume I haven’t

**Why am I here?:** No??

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** IT’S ART

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** It’s the best work of literature ever

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Ding dong you are wrong it’s clearly Lord of the Rings but anyway to sum it up it’s a book where children are forced to kill each other.

**I’m the one who raised you from perdition:** Seems legit

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** ANYWAY I put all of us in this Hunger Games Simulator and here are the results!

**What’s Going On-On:** Oh no

**Fuck You Goatman:** MY TRICKSTER SENSES ARE TINGLING!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** HERE WE GO!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** The Bloodbath: Alex, Chuck, Sam, Dean, Jo, Charlie, Garth, Raphael, Anna, Meg, Lucifer and Michael run away from the Cornucopia like fucking cowards.

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** But you ran away too.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** LIKE FUCKING COWARDS! DID I STUTTER?!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Bobby runs into the cornucopia and hides. Claire finds a bow, some arrows, and a quiver.

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** Fuck yeah I do

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Gabriel finds a canteen full of water.

**Fuck You Goatman:** LAME

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Kevin kills Ellen with a hatchet.

**Fuck You Goatman:** OOF

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I’M SO SORRY ELLEN!!!!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Abaddon stabs Balthazar with a tree branch

**A Single Man Tear:** Fucking brutal

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Get wrecked

**Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009):** FUCK

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Rowena snatches a bottle of alcohol and a rag.

**Impala67** : We’re doomed.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Ruby, Crowley, and Cas work together to get as many supplies as possible. Jody clutches a first aid kit and runs away.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Day 1: Jo tries to spear fish with a trident. Alex decapitates Garth with a sword.

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** GODDAMMIT!

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** NO GARTH! MY HOMIE! I’M SORRY!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Crowley discovers a cave.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Good for him.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Claire chases Bobby.

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** You better run boi

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Chuck and Anna split up to search for resources. Kevin steals from Sam while he isn't looking.

**A Single Man Tear:** FUCK YOU MAN!!!!

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Fuck you

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Ruby makes a slingshot. Dean tends to Meg's wounds. Michael injures himself.

**Fuck off:** Hahahaha! Get wrecked bitch!

**Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** Fuck you! Come over here and I will fuck you up.

**Fuck off:** Do it no balls

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Abaddon questions her sanity.

**King of Hell:** We all question her sanity.

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** What Michael said.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Charlie sprains her ankle while running away from Gabriel.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** FUCK YOU GABE!

**Fuck You Goatman:** HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA GET FUCKED

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** I will remember this moment

**The Responsible One:** You all concern me so much.

**Fuck You Crowley:** We concern ourselves

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Lucifer is pricked by thorns while picking berries.

**Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** Get fucked

**Fuck off:** <<<<<<<!!!!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Jody, Rowena, and Raphael hunt for other tributes. Cas searches for firewood.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Fallen Tributes: Ellen, Balthazar and Garth

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Night 1: Ruby defeats Abaddon in a fight, but spares her life.

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Incorrect

**I’m Awesome:** Fuck you

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Alex tends to Jody's wounds. Raphael receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

**Fuck off:** I don’t trust him with explosives

**Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009):** No one does

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Chuck thinks about winning. Dean loses sight of where he is. Charlie receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

**Impala67** : WHO GAVE CHARLIE EXPLOSIVES?!?!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Kevin is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth. Cas screams for help. Jo looks at the night sky. Meg loses sight of where she is. Gabriel goes to sleep.

**Fuck You Goatman:** Wrong I never sleep.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Bobby cries himself to sleep.

**I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt princess:** I also never sleep because I keep getting notifications from this chat!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Both Rowena and Crowley question their sanity. Sam tries to sing himself to sleep.

**King of Hell:** She is not sane

**A Single Man Tear:** I love that it says ‘tries’

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge** : Lucifer passes out from exhaustion.

**Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** Weakling

**Fuck off:** I WILL FUCKING DESTROY YOUR BLOODLINE! YOU FUCKING BITCH!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Claire and Anna sleep in shifts.

**What’s Going On-On?:** Woooo teamwork

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** *digital high-five*

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Michael receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.

**Fuck You Goatman** : WHY DOES HE HAVE A HATCHET

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Day 2: Ruby questions her sanity.

**I’m the one who raised you from perdition:** Everyone already knows she’s insane so why question it?

**Fuck You Goatman:** CAS FUCKING SNAPPED!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Jody makes a slingshot. Meg makes a wooden spear. Alex receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

**The Other Responsible One:** I don’t trust that

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Bobby attacks Dean, but he manages to escape. Raphael, Claire, and Michael get into a fight. Claire triumphantly kills them both.

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** GET FUCKED!!!!!!!!!!!

**Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** What the fuck

**Why am I here?:** ^^^^

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Lucifer tries to sleep through the entire day.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** MOOD

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Anna stalks Chuck. Kevin attacks Sam, but he manages to escape.

**A Single Man Tear: I say again:** FUCK YOU MAN!!!!

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Fuck you

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** What have you got against Sam?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** EVERYTHING

**A Single Man Tear:** I'm just slightly scared for my life

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** MOVING ON!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Charlie steals from Gabriel while he isn't looking.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** This is what you get for making me sprain my ankle.

**Fuck You Goatman:** Fair, fair

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Jo receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor. Crowley goes hunting. Both Rowena and Abaddon discover a river. Cas searches for a water source.

**Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009):** Maybe he should’ve done what Anna did and stalked them to find water.

**I’m the one who raised you from perdition:** I’m just sitting here watching the bees and I suddenly get called out like this? Say it to my face ya limp noodle!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** IS THAT A MULAN REFERENCE I SEE?!

**I’m the one who raised you from perdition:** Yes

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Arena Event!!!!!!!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Carnivorous squirrels start attacking the tributes.

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** What the fuck sort of event is that?

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Claire uses the squirrels to her advantage, shoving Lucifer into them.

**Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** This is what you get

**Fuck off:** SHE KILLED YOU AND RAPHAEL BY HERSELF FIRST!

**Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** FUCK YOU!!!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Kevin, Ruby, Alex, Gabriel, Sam, Jody, Anna, Chuck and Meg survive. Charlie is brutally attacked by a scurry of squirrels.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** FUCK

**Fuck You Goatman:** GET FUCKED

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Crowley uses the squirrels to his advantage, shoving Rowena into them.

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** I always hated you

**King of Hell:** Funny, that’s what I was about to say about you, you evil skank.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** The squirrels separate and kill Dean and Cas.

**Impala67** : We ride together

**I’m the one who raised you from perdition:** We die together

**Fuck You Goatman:** That’s gay

**Impala67** : No, u

**A Single Man Tear:** Dean uses uno reverse card

**Fuck You Goatman:** Bitch everyone knows I’m gay af

**A Single Man Tear:** It’s not very effective

**Impala67** : Fuck off Sam

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Bobby uses the squirrels to his advantage, shoving Jo into them.

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** FUCK YOU!!

**I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt princess:** You’re all feral

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Abaddon is brutally attacked by a scurry of squirrels.

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Fuck this game.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Fallen Tributes: Raphael, Michael, Lucifer, Charlie, Rowena, Cas, Dean, Jo, Abaddon, Ellen, Balthazar and Garth

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Wait that killed me?!

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** It said attacked. Not fucking killed!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Night 2: Bobby defeats Sam in a fight, but spares his life.

**A Single Man Tear:** Someone cares about me

**I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt princess:** No

**A Single Man Tear:** :(

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Ruby sets up camp for the night. Anna ambushes Meg and kills her.

_**Fuck You Crowley** has changed their name to **Fuck You Anna**_

**What’s Going On-On?:** bruh

_**Fuck You Anna** has changed their name to **Fuck You Crowley**_

**What’s Going On-On?:** What was the point of that?

**Fuck You Crowley:** The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma

**I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt princess:** And lies an example of my fucking point. Y’all are feral.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Jody convinces Alex to snuggle with her.

**The Other Responsible One:** Why do I need to convince you?

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Because I’m an emo teen who can’t show my love publicly or my reputation is ruined.

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** PREACH

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** PREACH

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** PREACH

**The Responsible One:** You lot are so concerning

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** Thanks it’s a talent

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Kevin and Gabriel sleep in shifts. Crowley starts a fire. Claire and Chuck hold hands.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Day 3: Chuck, Gabriel, and Anna start fighting, but Gabriel runs away as Chuck kills Anna.

**What’s Going On-On?:** What the fuck?!

**I Am Your Father:** I’m sorry

**Fuck You Crowley:** Yaaaaaaaaaasssss avenge me!

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Claire is pricked by thorns while picking berries. Both Kevin and Ruby camouflage themselves in the bushes.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I am bush

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Alex makes a slingshot. Bobby tries to sleep through the entire day. Jody tries to spear fish with a trident. Sam runs away from Crowley.

**A Single Man Tear:** Inaccurate

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Fallen Tributes: Meg, Anna, Raphael, Michael, Lucifer, Charlie, Rowena, Cas, Dean, Jo, Abaddon, Ellen, Balthazar and Garth

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Night 3: Both Chuck and Alex cook their food before putting their fires out.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Because we’re smart.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Kevin, Crowley, and Bobby discuss the games and what might happen in the morning. Gabriel and Ruby huddle for warmth.

**Fuck You Goatman:** Oh god no

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Sam, Jody, and Claire get into a fight. Claire triumphantly kills them both.

**Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009):** Claire is a fucking savage wtf

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** I like this girl

**I’m the one who raised you from perdition:** You stay away from her

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** The Feast: Claire gathers as much food into a bag as she can before fleeing. Crowley and Alex track down and kill Bobby.

**King of Hell:** Sounds about right

**I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt princess:** Fuck you

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Gabriel kills Chuck as he tries to run.

**Fuck You Goatman:** Sorry bro you seemed cool.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Kevin throws a knife into Ruby's head.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Move bitch get out the way

**I’m awesome:** Fuck

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Day 4: Claire defeats Crowley in a fight, but spares his life.

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** I would never

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Kevin scares Gabriel off.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I be scary

**Fuck You Goatman:** Dude you actually are what the fuck

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Alex searches for firewood.

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Fallen Tributes: Sam, Jody, Chuck, Bobby, Ruby, Meg, Anna, Raphael, Michael, Lucifer, Charlie, Rowena, Cas, Dean, Jo, Abaddon, Ellen, Balthazar and Garth

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Night 4: Claire attacks Crowley, but Kevin protects him, killing Claire.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I, also, would never. I’m so sorry Claire

_**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006)** has changed their name to **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004)**_

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I mean fair

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Gabriel quietly hums.

**Fuck You Goatman:** What am I humming?

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Darude Sandstorm

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Alex dies from an infection.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Shit that's lame

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Day 5: Crowley scares Kevin off. Gabriel picks flowers.

**Fuck off:** That’s fucking lame

**Fuck You Goatman:** Dead men tell no fucking tales bitch

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Fallen Tributes: Claire, Alex, Sam, Jody, Chuck, Bobby, Ruby, Meg, Anna, Raphael, Michael, Lucifer, Charlie, Rowena, Cas, Dean, Jo, Abaddon, Ellen, Balthazar and Garth

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Night 5: Crowley sets up camp for the night. Kevin begs for Gabriel to kill him. He reluctantly obliges, killing Kevin.

**Fuck You Goatman:** I’d do it in a heartbeat

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** What the fuck?! WHY?!

**Fuck You Goatman:** You scare me. I’m not dealing with life with you in it

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Day 6: Gabriel overpowers Crowley, killing him.

**King of Hell:** fUCK

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Gabriel Wins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Fuck You Goatman:** FUCK YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	3. Chapter 3 - Why am I here?: I WAS TEN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> I’m the one who raised you from perdition - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Fuck You Goatman - Gabriel  
> Why am I here? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> Fuck you Crowley - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009) - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge - Charlie  
> What’s Going On-On? - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck

**Impala67** : Remember when Sam was supposed to lead an army of demons

 **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** What? @ **A Single Man Tear** care to elaborate?

 **A Single Man Tear:** No

 **Fuck off:** Bruh you literally got stabbed to avoid it

 **A Single Man Tear:** And? What’s your fucking point?

 **Fuck off:** Bold of you to assume I have a point

 **Fuck You Goatman:** Whole ass mood

 **Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** You are all feral and I can’t believe I’m related to you

 **Why am I here?:** So Lucifer and Gabriel are feral and you aren’t? You would literally throw a sword at us when we tried to go down to Earth unless we were told to.

 **Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** Fuck you. Gabriel threw fledglings off a cliff to teach them to fly.

 **Fuck You Goatman:** IT WORKED DIDN’T IT?!

 **I’m the one who raised you from perdition:** AFTER YOU BROKE BALTHAZAR AND MY WINGS! TWICE!

 **Fuck You Goatman:** And you two turned out great!

 **Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009):** bruh you are the most irresponsible angel that has ever lived

 **Fuck You Goatman:** I won the Hunger Games therefore your argument is invalid

_**Fuck You Goatman** has changed the group chat name to **I won the Hunger Games therefore your argument is invalid**_

_**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge** has changed the group chat name to **all but five of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat**_

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** No one is allowed to change the chat name except the admins!

 **Fuck You Goatman:** Bitch I am the admins

_**Fuck You Goatman** has changed the group chat name to **I won the Hunger Games therefore your argument is invalid**_

_**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge** has removed **Fuck You Goatman** from the admin list_

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Not anymore you aren’t bitch

_**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge** has changed the group chat name to **all but five of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat**_

**Fuck You Goatman:** You motherfucker

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** :)

 **Fuck You Goatman:** Don’t you start that passive aggressive shit with me

 **The Responsible One:** IT’S 3AM GO THE FUCK TO SLEEP RIGHT NOW! ALL OF YOU!

 **The Other Responsible One:** ^^

 **I’m the one who raised you from perdition:** Sorry Ma’ams

 **Fuck You Goatman:** Sorry Ellen and Jody

 **Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009):** Sorry Ellen and Jody

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Sorry Miss Harvelle and Miss Mills

**Impala67** : Wait, who here isn’t feral?

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** Ellen, Jody, Bobby, Chuck and Raphael

 **Fuck off:** Bold of you to assume that Raphael isn’t feral

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** What has he done

 **It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** TEA

 **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** TEA

 **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** TEA

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** TEA

 **We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** TEA

 **Fuck off:** What the fuck

 **Fuck off:** Are you all just summoned? What the actual fuck

 **We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** We need the tea

 **Fuck off:** Okay so one time Gabe and I were messing with Michael as we always did and tried to get Raphael to join in multiple times because even back then he had a stick up his ass and eventually he came over to us and sprayed us all with water like we were fucking cats and said ‘I will fucking kill all of you’

 **Fuck You Goatman:** I was genuinely scared for my life for about a week

 **Why am I here?:** I WAS TEN

 **Fuck You Goatman:** AND?!

 **Fuck You Goatman:** MY LIFE WAS THREATENED I HAD EVERY RIGHT TO BE SCARED

 **Fuck off:** Gabriel literally avoided Raphael the entire time

 **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Is no one going to talk about the fact that Lucifer called Gabriel ‘Gabe’?

 **Fuck off:** No we are not

 **Fuck You Goatman:** *gasps* YOU DO CARE ABOUT ME!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** Did you just type a sound effect?

 **Fuck You Goatman:** And?

_**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge** has changed the group chat name to **all but four of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat**_

**Why am I here?:** Fuck you

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** You’re not helping yourself

 **I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt princess:** Are you all just constantly on your phones

 **Fuck off:** Yeah pretty much

 **I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt princess:** GO OUTSIDE

 **Fuck You Goatman:** OK BOOMER

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** OK BOOMER

 **Fuck off:** I CANT GO OUTSIDE

 **Fuck off:** THERES NOTHING TO DO DOWN HERE

 **Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** I AM RIGHT HERE

 **Fuck off:** It’s not fun to mess with you anymore

 **Fuck off:** In the words of Gabriel: YA BASIC

 **Fuck You Goatman:** So you do listen to me

**I Am Your Father:** I still don’t know why I’m here

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge** : Because you’re relevant to everyone else

 **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** I mean you did write the Supernatural books

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** WAIT YOU WROTE THEM?!

 **I Am Your Father:** Yeah?

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Dude I love those books

 **A Single Man Tear:** You do realise that those books are about us right?

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** And?

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** @ **Fuck You Goatman** Did you really kill Dean over 100 times and put them in TV land?

 **Fuck You Goatman** : YEs to both

 **Impala67** : Fuck you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I was rewatching the last few episode of season 2 because I needed scenes for a video I’m making and they completely forgot about that plot line didn’t they


	4. Chapter 4 - A Single Man Tear: I feel like this is how cults are started

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW when there is a paragraph space between conversations that means it's taking place at a different time
> 
> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> I’m the one who raised you from perdition - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Fuck You Goatman - Gabriel  
> Why am I here? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> Fuck you Crowley - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009) - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge - Charlie  
> What’s Going On-On? - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck

**Impala67:** Gabriel I’m genuinely curious as to why you thought making a group chat with angels, hunters and fucking dEMONS WAS A GOOD IDEA

**Fuck You Goatman:** The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma

**Fuck You Crowley:** DUde you cant just copy my fucking lines

**Fuck You Goatman:** ITS NOT YOUR LINE

**Fuck You Crowley:** I SAID IT IN THE CHAT FIRST THEREFORE IT IS MY FUCKING LINE

**Fuck You Goatman:** FUCK YOU

**Fuck You Goatman:** ANYWAY

**Fuck You Goatman:** I was dared by Charlie to add you all to a group chat and I decided fuck it I’ll do just that

**A Single Man Tear:** And how did you get our numbers?

**Fuck You Goatman:** Magic

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** I gave them to him

**Impala67:** How do you guys even know each other well enough to have matching chat names wtf?

**Fuck You Goatman:** We ran into each other in Europe

**A Single Man Tear:** And?

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** AND he was cool and then he dropped your names and here we are

**Fuck You Goatman:** I also hooked her up with some hot chick in Rome

**Fuck off:** Gabriel has such a large network it’s honestly concerning

**Why am I here?:** He’s always been concerning.

**Fuck off:** Still wtf

**Fuck You Crowley:** So I watched Buzzfeed Unsolved and…

_**Fuck You Crowley** has changed their name to **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY**_

**Fuck You Goatman:** YAAAAAAASSSS WE’VE CONVERTED ANOTHER

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**What’s Going On-On?:** I’ve also watched it and

_**What’s Going On-On?** has changed their name to **All Hail The Watcher**_

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** OOF YAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSS

**A Single Man Tear:** I feel like this is how cults are started

**I’m sorry that your feelings were hurt princess:** I would leave this chat but I’d just be added back in so I’ve just learnt to deal with this shit

**All Hail The Watcher:** That’s the kind of positive attitude we need right now

**Fuck You Goatman:** @ **Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge** WE HAVE ANOTHER

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** FUCK YEAH

**King of Hell:** They are starting a cult

_**Everybody Loves Me by OneRepublic (2009)** has changed their name to **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff**_

_**I’m the one who raised you from perdition** has changed their name to **We saw the ad on craigslist**_

**Impala67:** Even you Cas?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I blame Balthazar

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Tf you want

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** (wheeze)

**I’m Awesome:** WTF is with this Buzzfeed Unsolved shit?

**Fuck You Goatman:** It’s the best thing on the Internet fuck you

**I’m Awesome:** Fuck you too

**Fuck You Goatman:** Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaah

**All Hail The Watcher:** Sam's supposed to fuck you @ **I'm Awesome**

**A Single Man Tear:** I came out here to have a good time and I’m suddenly feeling so attacked right now

**A Single Man Tear:** I feel so called out

**A Single Man Tear:** I am disgusted, I am revolted, I dedicate my entire life to our lord and saviour Jesus Christ and THIS is the thanks I get?!

**A Single Man Tear:** *Climbs into washing machine*

**Fuck You Goatman:** Ah, I see you are a man of culture as well

**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge:** @ **Fuck You Goatman** We should change our names to something more current

**Fuck You Goatman:** Like what?

_**Goatman I’m Dancing On Your Bridge** has changed their name to **Is Will Smith Dead?**_

**Fuck You Goatman:** I like your thinking

_**Fuck You Goatman** has changed their name to **Has Anyone Checked The News?**_

**Fuck off:** I hate all of you

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** You hate everyone

**Fuck off:** I know. That’s the point

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** YOU HATE ME??

**Fuck off:** No comment

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Oh no you’re commenting

_**Fuck off** has left the chat: **all but four of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat**_

_**Has Anyone Checked The News?** added **Fuck off** to the chat: **all but four of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat**_

**Fuck off:** DAMNIT

**Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** @ **Why am I here?** You’d think he’d learn

**Fuck off:** No one fucking asked for your fucking opinion you fucking dick

**Why am I here?:** I want no part of this

**Fuck off:** A wise choice

**Wait Until I Get Out Of Here:** How am I the dick?

**Fuck off:** Get your bitch ass over here and fight like the fucking archangel you are you fucking wimp

**Impala67** : @ **We saw the ad on craigslist** This is how you insult someone. Not this assbutt shit

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Did I ask for your opinion?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** No I did not

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** So as Shane would say "FUCK YOU GOATMAN"

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I’m so proud of you baby bro

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Gabe, text me now. It’s important for this chat

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Aight?

**King of Hell:** This can’t be good

_Private Chat Between **Has Anyone Checked The News?** and **Is Will Smith Dead?**_

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** What’s going on

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** We have to assign everyone vines

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yes

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Operation Vine is a go

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't really many ideas for this one *shrugs*. I just wanted to start a Buzzfeed Unsolved cult and set up for the crackhead-ness of the next chapter.


	5. Chapter 5 - Is Will Smith Dead?: *All respond* HAIL SATAN, HAIL SATAN

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why am I here? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** We have worked extremely hard through the night

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** We worked until 4 in the morning

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** GABRIEL WENT TO BED AT 2:30 I WORKED UNTIL 4 IN THE MORNING (A/N: If anyone gets this bit I love you)

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I came online at like 8

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Yeah you came online and watched me type in our chat for 10 minutes until you said I got something wrong you dick

 **The Other Responsible One:** After we’ve all witnessed the chaos these two cause I’m very concerned for what is going to happen.

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** This is actually a nice bit

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** We decided to assign everyone a vine that we feel suits them

 **Why am I here?:** What’s a “vine”

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** It’s a funny 7 second video. They were really popular until Vine died in 2017.

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Can we get an F in chat for Vine

 **We saw the ad on craigslist:** F

 **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** F

 **It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** F

 **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** F

 **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** F

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** F

 **We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** F

 **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** F

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** F

 **All Hail The Watcher:** F

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** F

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** aNYWAY

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** We gave everyone a vine so we’re going to tell y’all the vines we picked for you and maybe a few others that aren’t here because we wanted to honor them too

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** OK FIRST VINE

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Impala67**

 **Impala67** : Oh no

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** UH UH HOLD UP! YOU MESSING WITH MY TRUCK *while spinning nunchucks* YOU MESSING WITH MY TRUCK MISTAKE

 **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaasssssss

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** We also had a second vine for you Dean

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** I WANTED TO BE A COWBOY BABY

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** HELL YEAH

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** I WANTED TO BE A COWBOY BABY

 **Impala67** : I hate you all

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** NEEEEEEEEEEEEEXT

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **Wait until I get out of here**

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** GUYS GET OUT OF THE WAY!!!!!!! IT’S THE LORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **We saw the ad on craigslist:** Accurate

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Next up

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Why am I here?**

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Sure, you may be verified on Twitter, but are you verified...IN THE EYES OF GOD

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Coming in 4th iiiiiiiiiiiissssssssss

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011)**

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Yeet

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Blaze it. Just kidding it’s from my macaroni and CHEESE

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Woooooooooo

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004)** and @ **The Other Responsible One** you guys have one together because we couldn’t think of individual ones

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** I’m in me mums car, broom broom

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Get out me car

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Aww

 **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** B r u h

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** We also have a joint one for @ **It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000)** and @ **The Responsible One**

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** This could also be Bobby and Sam and Dean when they were younger idk it was late

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Which one of youse didn’t flush the toilet after ya took a sheet

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** It wasn’t me

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Well it was fookin’ one of yas

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** DISGUSTANG

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** DISGUSTANG

 **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** DISGUSTANG

 **It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** DISGUSTANG

 **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** DISGUSTANG

 **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** DISGUSTANG

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** DISGUSTANG

 **We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** DISGUSTANG

 **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** DISGUSTANG

 **All Hail The Watcher:** DISGUSTANG

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** MY FAITH IN HUMANITY IS RESTORED

 **Fuck off:** This chat is so concerning

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Your turn

 **Fuck off:** Fuck

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Lucifer at everyone: GO SUCK A DICK, SUCK A MOTHERFUCKING DICK, SUCK A DICK, SUCK A HUGE OR SMALL DICK

 **Fuck off:** I-

_**Fuck off** has left the chat: **all but four of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat**_

_**Has Anyone Checked The News?** added **Fuck off** to the chat: **all but four of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat**_

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Over my dead body

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I will not let you leave

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** No one leaves

 **A Single Man Tear:** That’s very ominous? I’m kinda concerned?

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** We have a volunteer to go next! SAM! Your vine is…

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Release all of the sounds that are trapped in your mind. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** You also have a second one

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** NO MATTER HOW FAST HE RAN HE COULD NOT ESCAPE THE DEMON BUT HE WOULD NOT LET HIS SOUL BE TAKEN TODAY

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **A Single Man Tear:** I have no words

_**A Single Man Tear** has left the chat: **all but four of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat**_

_**Has Anyone Checked The News?** added **A Single Man Tear** to the chat: **all but four of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat**_

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Moving on @ **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002)**

 **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Yes! Finally

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** DON’T FUCK WITH ME! I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** We actually gave your mum one too

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** She’s like you can’t fuck with me, nobody can fuck with me, I’m so badass you can’t fuck with me

 **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** HAHAHAHAHA

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **I Am Your Father**

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** We kinda took this from how you wrote yourself in the books so…

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Merry Chrisssms, It’s Chrisms, Merry Crisis, Mary Chrysler

 **I Am Your Father:** Why?

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Dude you’re a cool guy but you’re a hot fucking mess

 **I Am Your Father:** True

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** We’re going to do our cult now!

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **We saw the ad on craigslist**

 **We saw the ad on craigslist:** No

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yes

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Slow down, grab your bible, pray like you’re tryna make your soul revival

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** PRAISE THE LORD, PRAISE THE LORD

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff** you’re next

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU *while moving banana*

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Or the penny whistle version in general

 **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Fuck you guys

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Alright @ **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY**

 **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** FINALLY

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I can’t go to school I’m sick

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Why what’s wrong

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I’m sick

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** SICK OF ALL THESE RATCHET ASS HOES

 **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Yaaaaaaaaaaassssss

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **All Hail The Watcher**

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Okay so I’m in a store that only sells Christmas stuff… and it’s August

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** WHY PEOPLE

 **All Hail The Watcher:** Yaaaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Hey Lucifer we actually have a second one for you

 **Fuck off:** Nooooooooo

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** *Speaking to those voice copier snowmen* Hail Satan

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** *All respond* HAIL SATAN, HAIL SATAN

 **Fuck off:** I’m going to leave again I swear

_**Has Anyone Checked The News?** has changed **Fuck off’** s settings to: **Locked**. **Fuck off** can no longer leave the chat: **all but four of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat.**_

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Haha now the only escape is to be kicked

 **Fuck off:** FUUUUUUUUUUCK

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Everyone at demons in general: THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!! THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPELS YOU!!

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yes

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Fuck the Grand Coven** your vine

 **Fuck the Grand Coven:** I’m still not sure what this whole vine thing is but what is it?

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Hey I’m sorry I didn’t see you there, I was too busy mmm blocking out the haters

 **Fuck the Grand Coven:** I have haters?

 **King of Hell:** I’m still here

 **Fuck the Grand Coven:** Do you hear anything

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Y’all hear something

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** No I didn’t hear anything

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** mOVING ON @ **The Responsible One** , @ **The Other Responsible One and** @ **I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess** we couldn’t think of individual ones so we gave you all the same one because it’s perfect

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** I DIDN’T GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF Y’ALL Y’ALL NOT GONNA GET NO SLEEP CAUSE OF ME

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000)** You get your own

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** When you’re in the hotel room and you have to pay for the water. SHUT THE HELL YOUR MOUTH THERE’S FREE WATER RIGHT HERE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE

 **It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Yes!

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **I’m the Motherfucking Queen**

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I brought you frankincense

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Thank you

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** And I brought you mur

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Thank you

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** MURDER

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Judas, noooooooooo

 **I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Fair fair

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **King of Hell** your turn

 **King of Hell:** I’d rather die

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Too bad

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** GIMME YOUR FUCKING MONEY

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** DUN DUN

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** DUN DUN

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **I’m Awesome**

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Everyone @ her: Remember one time I liked you

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Her: No

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Everyone @ her: Good because it never happened

 **Impala67** : HAHAHA

 **We saw the ad on craigslist:** HAHAHAAHAHA

 **I'm Awesome:** OH COME ON

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** And finally @ **We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015)** the best boi

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** What? You’re not coming to my tea party? BETHANY I MADE BISCUITS

 **We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** HAHAHAHA

 **We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Wait what are yours?

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **Has Anyone Checked The News?** My homie

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** You got this Travis make em wait for it BOOM

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Is Will Smith Dead?** Our local nerd, genius, Women of Letters and my name buddy

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** TEN BILLION POINTS TO GRYFFINPUFF!!!!!!!! FUCK YOU SNAPE! GRYFFINPUFF WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSS I LOVE IT

 **Impala67** : Is it finally over?

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** Not yet

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** We’re forgetting someone

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** He’s not here so we can’t @ him so Metatron

 **Is Will Smith Dead?:** OH HI THANKS FOR CHECKING IN I’M STILL A PIECE OF GARBAGE

 **Has Anyone Checked The News?:** OH HI THANKS FOR CHECKING IN I’M STILL A PIECE OF GARBAGE

 **All Hail The Watcher:** (WHEEZE)

 **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** (WHEEZE)

 **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** GET FUCKING WRECKED

 **We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** HE’S NOT EVEN HERE AND YOU DESTROYED HIM


	6. Chapter 6 - Fuck off: Dude that was on you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why am I here? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** So who here has slept with a demon

**Impala67:** @ **A Single Man Tear**

**A Single Man Tear:** Fuck you

**A Single Man Tear:** @ **We saw the ad on craigslist** made out with Meg once

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** @ me next time bitch

**A Single Man Tear:** Oh sorry @ **We saw the ad on craigslist** made out with @ **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY** once

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Better

**Wait until I get out of here:** I’m so disappointed in you Castiel

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Fuck You

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** FUck you

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Seriously that’s it?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Okay what about angels? Has anyone here slept with an angel?

**A Single Man Tear:** @ **Impala67**

**Impala67:** Yep

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** WHO

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** WHO

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** WHO

**Impala67:** @ **All Hail The Watcher**

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Really?!

**All Hail The Watcher:** Yeah

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Get it girl!

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Honestly I was expecting someone else

**Impala67:** Who did you think?!

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Never mind

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Impala67_ ** _ and  _ **_We’re Here For The Cult Stuff_ **

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** You know exactly who I’m talking about

**Impala67:** Who? Cas?

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** I swear to Father

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** *facepalm* YES CASTIEL

**Impala67:** No way we’re friends

**Impala67:** Why does everyone think that?!

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Because it’s fucking obvious but you two are too fucking oblivious to see that you have the hots for each other

**Impala67:** GOD WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** I’m not God but thanks

**Impala67:** Fuck I hate you

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Likewise

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_** _has added_ ** _I’m the Motherfucking Queen, Fuck off_** _and 5 others to_ ** _Welcome to Hell_**

**Fuck off:** What the fuck is this?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** IDK I was bored to I figured I would make one for us

**I’m Awesome:** Wait but there are six of us in the main chat but eight of us here? Who’s new

**Cain:** I’m here

**King of Hell:** Fuck that

**_King of Hell_ ** _ has left the chat:  _ **_Welcome to Hell_ **

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_ ** _ added  _ **_King of Hell_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_Welcome to Hell_ **

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Fuck you

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Why are you here?

**Cain:** I could ask you the same thing

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** Who else is there?

**Yellow Eyes:** Me

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Ew I thought the Winchesters killed you

**Yellow Eyes:** I’m going to pretend you didn’t say that

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Pretend away bitch

**all but four of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat**

**I’m Awesome:** So today I learnt that Meg doesn’t give a fuck

**All Hail The Watcher:** Yes we know this

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Are we going to get the context for this or nah?

**I’m Awesome:** Meg made a group chat for us demons and she added Azazel and fucking Cain

**I’m Awesome:** And Crowley tries to leave as soon as he sees Cain and she doesn’t care

**I’m Awesome:** She doesn’t care that two Knights and a Prince of Hell are in the fucking chat and she’s doing what she normally does

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Proof or it didn’t happen

**_I’m Awesome_ ** _ has taken a screenshot of the chat:  _ **_Welcome to Hell_ **

**_I’m Awesome_ ** _ has taken a screenshot of the chat:  _ **_Welcome to Hell_ **

**_I’m Awesome_ ** _ has sent a photo to the group chat:  _ **_all but four of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat_ **

**_I’m Awesome_ ** _ has sent a photo to the group chat:  _ **_all but four of us are feral and this is a Hell Chat_ **

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Holy shit it did happen

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** I don’t give a shit, I don’t give a fuck

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** What are they going to do to me?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** NO ONE CAN FIND ME

**A Single Man Tear:** Yeah like that’s not ominous at all

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** I have no idea what you’re talking about

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_** _has added_ ** _All Hail The Watcher, We saw the ad on craigslist_** _and 9 others to_ ** _The Pearly White Gates_**

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS?!

**Fuck off:** WHAT’S UP WITH EVERYONE ADDING ME TO EVERY FUCKING CHAT

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Because suffer

**Hannah:** What’s this?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** A group chat that Gabriel created

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** It started with a chat with the Winchesters, some other hunters, some of us and some demons and now we have a separate one

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** FOR SOME REASON

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** It was supposed to be fun

**Hannah:** @ **We saw the ad on craigslist** who are you? Who is everyone?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Castiel

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Gabriel

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Balthazar

**Hannah:** @ **Has Anyone Checked The News?** @ **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff** I thought you two were dead

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Surprise!

**All Hail The Watcher:** Anna

**Alfie:** Samandriel

**Wait until I get out of here:** Michael

**Why am I here?:** Raphael

**The best writer:** Metatron

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Fuck You

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Fuck You

**Hannah:** Fuck You

**Fuck you Lucifer:** Fuck You

**The best writer:** What the fuck

**Fuck off:** I’m offended

**Fuck you Lucifer:** Also I’m Gadreel

**Fuck off:** Dude that was on you

**Fuck you Lucifer:** NO IT WASN’T FUCK YOU

**Hannah:** Why on Earth is he here?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Why the fuck not?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** *facepalm*

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** I hate you Gabriel

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Noooooooo not my cult homie

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** I-

**All Hail The Watcher:** We should kick him out

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Nah

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** As your cult leader I am willing to forget about this slight against me

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** I-

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** What the fuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So we have angel and demon chats yay!  
> Also I am running out of ideas and pre-written chapters so if you've got any ideas please comment them! :)


	7. Chapter 7 - Fuck off: I WON’T HESITATE BITCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why am I here? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

_ Private Message Between  _ **_We’re Here For The Cult Stuff_ ** _ and  _ **_Is Will Smith Dead?_ **

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Can you change the group chat name to Gabriel’s a fucking idiot

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Please

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Why not

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ has changed the group chat name to  _ **_Gabriel’s a fucking idiot_ **

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** WHAT THE FUCK CHARLIE   
**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Someone asked me to change the chat name so I did

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** WHO?!

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Mama ain’t raise no snitch

**The Pearly White Gates**

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** WHO THE FUCK

**Naomi:** Language!

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** WHOM’ST THE FUCK

**Naomi:** No

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** aNYWAY WHO THE FUCK TOLD CHARLIE TO CHANGE THE GROUP CHAT NAME?!

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Hannah, Samandriel, Naomi, Gadreel and Trash aren’t in the group chat so it’s not any of you

**Hannah:** Is he going to investigate this?

**Fuck you Lucifer:** Yes, yes is

**All Hail The Watcher:** It wasn’t me

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Send proof

**_All Hail The Watcher_ ** _ has sent a photo to the group chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**All Hail The Watcher:** I’ve never messaged Charlie

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Okay you’re clear

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Now

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Let’s get into the theories

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Cas, Balthazar, Michael, Lucifer and Raphael all have motive

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** However Michael “Would never stoop so low as to DM a human”

**All Hail The Watcher:** So Michael’s out

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** While Raphael may be feral he’s not that petty

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** OR IS HE

**All Hail The Watcher:** OR IS HE

**Why am I here?:** It wasn’t me

**_Why am I here?_ ** _ has sent a photo to the group chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Raphael is clear

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Now Cas, Balthazar and Lucifer all have motive and are all petty enough to do this

**All Hail The Watcher:** Cas doesn’t seem like someone who would do this though

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** You’re right

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** He would just type it in chat

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I feel like I’m in an episode of Buzzfeed Unsolved

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Lucifer also wouldn’t message a human as he hates messaging even his own brothers and sisters

**Fuck off:** *sigh* I’m not even going to try to leave this fucking chat because I’ll just be added back

**Wait until I get out of here:** Ah he’s learnt

**Fuck off:** I WON’T HESITATE BITCH

**All Hail The Watcher:** That leaves just one

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff**

**All Hail The Watcher:** @ **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff**

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** WHAT THE FUCK

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** HOW THE FUCK

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** B R U H

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** AH HA THE TRAITOR CONFESSES

**Wait until I get out of here:** I’m very concerned for you Gabriel

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Thanks it’s a talent

**_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ has taken a screenshot of the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ has taken a screenshot of the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ has sent a screenshot to the chat:  _ **_Gabriel’s a fucking idiot_ **

**_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ has sent a screenshot to the chat:  _ **_Gabriel’s a fucking idiot_ **

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** b r u h

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Did he turn that into a Buzzfeed Unsolved episode?

**All Hail The Watcher:** He did

**All Hail The Watcher:** He turned it into a Buzzfeed Unsolved episode

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Ding ding ding you are correct Gabe

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** WHAT THE FUCK

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** WHAT HAPPENED TO MAMA AINT RAISE NO SNITCH HUH?!

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Technically I didn’t tell him I just confirmed it

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Dude he’s going to kill me

**_We’re Here For The Cult Stuff_ ** _ has taken a screenshot of the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**_We’re Here For The Cult Stuff_** _has sent a screenshot to the chat:_ ** _Gabriel’s a fucking idiot_**

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** He’s very threatening

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Sounds like a you problem

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** d u d e

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** WTF

**Impala67:** I’m honestly concerned but also impressed with you Gabe

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Thank you Dean I’m honoured. I accept this award with dignity and grace.

**Impala67:** Nevermind I take it back

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** >:(

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Dean

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** You made Gabe sad

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I will end you

**Impala67:** I-

**Impala67:** Sorry dude

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** :)

**A Single Man Tear:** Weak

**Impala67:** Fuck you

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** We should do some sort of group bonding activity

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** ??

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** IDK like those personality Buzzfeed Quizzes and stuff

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Like ‘what cupcake are you’ or some shit

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Or some shit

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Aight

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_** _has added_ ** _Impala67, A Single Man Tear, I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004)_** _and 8 others to_ ** _Fuck the Apocalypse_**

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** No

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Yes

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** You’re not going to let me leave are you?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Nope

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** Damnit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again ideas are welcome! :)  
> If you haven't guess already I'm Australian so I'm spelling everything that way so sorry *shrugs*


	8. Chapter 8 - We’re Here For The Cult Stuff: I thought I was your favourite

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why am I here? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

**Gabriel’s a fucking idiot**

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** So y’all like bath bombs?

**All Hail The Watcher:** Fuck yeah

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I put to everyone in this chat

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** What Lush™ Bath Bomb are you?

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Why are you like this?!

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Because I’m fucking bored

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Fair enough

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Idk but I feel like it would be something spicy

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Blazin’ Bad Zula™ it’s black with a gold shimmer

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** aight

**All Hail The Watcher:** The Comforter™

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** That’s a good one

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Mine would be Secret Arts™

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Nice

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Cas what about you?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I don’t know what a bath bomb is????

**All Hail The Watcher:** It’s something that you put in water and it fizzes and is like good for your skin and stuff and changes the colour of the water

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** And they smell amazing!

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** What would your smell be?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** uuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhh

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** idk

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I feel like you’d be something like Figaro Figaro™

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Are you going to type ™ every time?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yes

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I’d be Flight™

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Yaaaaaaaaaaassssssssss

**Impala67:** What is the cult doing?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** DEAN WHAT LUSH™ BATH BOMB WOULD YOU BE?

**Impala67:** WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING

**Impala67:** Also wtf sort of question is that?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** A valid one   
**We saw the ad on craigslist:** He’d be something earthy

**Impala67:** What is going on?!

**Impala67:** Why are you guys assigning me a fucking smell

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Kitsune™

**All Hail The Watcher:** PERFECT

**Impala67:** Wot?

**A Single Man Tear:** Huh funny how you got Kitsune after you fucking killed Amy

**Impala67:** Dude you’re still hung up on that?!

**A Single Man Tear:** Just wanted to point it out

**The Other Responsible One:** I’d be something herbal

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** You give me a Roar™ vibe

**The Other Responsible One:** Okay

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Ellen gives me a Black Ninja™ vibe

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Yes! Slightly floral, slightly earthy. Yes!

**The Responsible One:** What’s going on here?

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** They’re assigning us bath bombs

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Mine would be Guardian of the Forest™

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Nice

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Mine would be Strawberries and Cream™

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Now that’s a good one

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I feel like mine would Kappa™

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Keeping it fresh nice

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Raphael I assign you Blue Skies and Fluffy White Clouds™

**_Why am I here?_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_Why do I put up with this shit?_ **

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Now that’s just rude

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** It’s accurate

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** He’s finally cracked

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** I am so fucking done with everyone in this chat

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** I relate

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** Also I refuse to participate in this nonsense

**King of Hell:** Same

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** I also do not wish to participate

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Boo you’re boring

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I feel Chuck would be Turtle™

**I Am Your Father:** I do like turtles

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** PERFECT

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** I feel like I’d be Yuzu and Cocoa™

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Yaaaaasssss Choc Orange

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Claire! What about you?

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Ickle Baby Bot™

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Really?

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Yeah? It smells really good

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Fair enough

**All Hail The Watcher:** Gabe what about you?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Isn’t it obvious?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** He’s Marshmallow World™

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Marshmallow World™

**All Hail The Watcher:** Of course

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I feel like Sam would be Under The Umbrella Tree™

**A Single Man Tear:** Fuck I thought that I could escape this question by not saying anything

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Nope

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Feel like Michael would Royalty™

**Wait until I get out of here:** Okay????

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Lucifer and Abaddon both seem like they’d be Magma™

**Fuck off:** Fuck they remembered me

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Of course I remembered!

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** You’re my favourite bro

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** I thought I was your favourite

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I thought I was your favourite

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Uuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has left the chat:  _ **_Gabriel’s a fucking idiot_ **

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_** _added_ ** _Has Anyone Checked The News?_** _to the chat:_ ** _Gabriel’s a fucking idiot_**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Seriously dude?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** ANYWAY

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **I’m Awesome** what’s yours?

**I’m Awesome:** Turmeric Latte

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** WHERE'S THE TRADEMARK

**I’m Awesome:** Fuck you

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** RESPECT THE TRADEMARK

**I’m Awesome:** FINE

**I’m Awesome:** Turmeric Latte™

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Thank you

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** And thank you to everyone except to those who didn’t par-fucking-ticipate

**The Pearly White Gates**

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** To everyone not in the other chat

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** WHAT LUSH™ BATH BOMB ARE YOU

**Fuck you Lucifer:** What the fuck

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** He assigned everyone in our other chat a bath bomb

**Fuck you Lucifer:** What’s a bath bomb?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** You put it in water and it makes the water coloured and smell good

**All Hail The Watcher:** And it’s good for you

**Fuck you Lucifer:** Okay????????

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Just give us a smell you think fits you and we’ll pick

**Fuck you Lucifer:** @ **Wait until I get out of here** @ **Why am I here?** @ **Fuck off** WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENS IN YOUR CHAT?!?!?!?!?!

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** WE DON’T FUCKING KNOW AND IT SUCKS

**Fuck you Lucifer:** Who are you?!

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** It’s Raphael

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** He finally cracked

**Fuck off:** I FUCKING HATE IT

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** DEAL WITH IT

**Hannah:** I like calming scents so something like that?

**All Hail The Watcher:** Tea and Sympathy™

**Hannah:** What does it smell like?

**All Hail The Watcher:** It has Chamomile Blue Oil, Soya Milk Powder, Calamine Powder and Olibanum Oil in it

**Hannah:** Okay :)

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** She’s too cute I love her

**Fuck you Lucifer:** B r u h

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** B R U H

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Bruh

**All Hail The Watcher:** b r u h

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Moving on! @ **Fuck you Lucifer** your scent?

**Fuck you Lucifer:** Idk woods? Forests?

**All Hail The Watcher:** Geo Phyzz™

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yes

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Naomi**

**Naomi:** Flowers? I guess?

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Youki Hi™ it’s got Jasmine and Ylang Ylang

**Naomi:** Okay?

**Alfie:** I like sweet things

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Chocomint™

**Alfie:** EXACTLY I LOVE IT :) :)

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I see what Gabriel means

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** You’re too precious for this world

**Alfie:** I-

**Alfie:** Thanks I guess?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Thank you all for participating in this survey!

**The best writer:** What about me?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Y’all hear something

**Alfie:** No

**Hannah:** It might be wind

**Fuck you Lucifer:** Yes it does get windy up here

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** (WHEEZE) IT GETS WINDY HE SAYS

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I don’t care what he did I like this guy

**Fuck you Lucifer:** ?????????????????????

**Fuck you Lucifer:** Help

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** I think he short circuited

**Welcome to Hell**

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** @ **Yellow Eyes** @ **Cain**

**I’m Awesome:** MEG NO

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** MEG YES

**I’m Awesome:** @ **Fuck off** @ **I’m the Motherfucking Queen** @ **King of Hell** @ **Fuck the Grand Coven** Y’all gonna stop this?

**Fuck off:** No?

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** She did it to herself

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** This’ll be good

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** WHAT LUSH™ BATH BOMB ARE YOU

**Yellow Eyes:** ????????????????????

**Cain:** What the fuck is going on

**King of Hell:** Terribly sorry about that she’s just high right now and doesn’t know what she’s doing please don’t kill me


	9. Chapter 9 - I’m Awesome: Wow Meg having restraint? That’s a first

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

**Welcome to Hell**

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_** _has taken a screenshot of the chat:_ ** _Welcome to Hell_**

**The Pearly White Gates**

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has taken a screenshot of the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has taken a screenshot of the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**Gabriel’s a fucking idiot**

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_Gabriel’s a fucking idiot_ **

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_Gabriel’s a fucking idiot_ **

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_Gabriel’s a fucking idiot_ **

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** I did it and gave Ruby and Crowley fucking heart attacks

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** We all told Metatron to get fucked

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Also can we pLEASE change the fUCKING chat name

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_** _has changed the group chat name to_ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_**

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Much better

**I’m Awesome:** I’m genuinely concerned for your lack of fucks Meg

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** A lot of people are

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Also @ **King of Hell** fuck you for calling me high

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** I’m soooooo less fun when I’m high

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** What sort of high is everyone?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** I question the meaning of life

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Oof same

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I turn into one of those surfer bros

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Now that’s scary

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Like I said before

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Dude you’re scary

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Yeah

**Impala67:** Kev I’m concerned for you

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** To quote Meg “A lot of people are”

**A Single Man Tear:** You give me so much anxiety

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Yeah I know

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I give myself anxiety

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I know the feeling

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** You concern yourself sometimes but you either don’t care or you’re too lazy to do anything about it

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** HE GETS IT

**A Single Man Tear:** Are you two okay?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Oh heavens no

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** We are never okay

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Mood

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** MOOD

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** mood

**A Single Man Tear:** @ **The Responsible One** @ **The Other Responsible One** are you guys not concerned about your children?!

**The Responsible One:** We’ve given up

**The Other Responsible One:** I just try to ignore it as much as possible

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** So now that we’ve established the concerning anxiety inducing ones

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** What’s everyone’s Hogwarts house?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Let’s start with Gryffindor

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**A Single Man Tear:** That was such a shift in tone I hate it

**Impala67:** I am

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** That makes sense

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** I feel like I’m a mix between Gryffindor and Slytherin

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yaaaaaaaaasssssssss

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Mum and I are Gryffindors

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** I feel like I’d also be Gryffindor but at the same time Slytherin (A/N: I deadass have no idea for Alex so *shrugs*)

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** OKAY SLYTHERIN

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Hi how are ya

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Imma just tag everyone else in Slytherin cause most of us don’t know Harry Potter

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** @ **Fuck off** (although he could be slightly Gryffindor) @ **King of Hell** @ **Fuck the Grand Coven** (also a bit Ravenclaw) @ **I’m the Motherfucking Queen** @ **I’m Awesome** @ **Wait until I get out of here** @ **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff** (And Hufflepuff)

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** YES

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I feel like you could also be slightly Gryffindor too @ **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY**

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Yeah

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** RAVENCLAWS YOU’RE UP

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Yo

**A Single Man Tear:** I’m Ravenclaw

**I Am Your Father:** ^^^^

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Why do I put up with this shit?** Is also Ravenclaw

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I feel like @ **I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess** is a Gryffindor and Ravenclaw

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** AND LAST BUT NOT AT ALL LEAST

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** HUFFLEPUFF

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** I think I’m Hufflepuff

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Yaasss

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** @ **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY** I agree with this assessment

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **We saw the ad on craigslist** is probably Hufflepuff and Slytherin too

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Okay?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I’m also a Hufflepuff/Slytherin

**All Hail The Watcher:** I ACTUALLY DON’T KNOW

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Maybe Hufflepuff/Slytherin?

**All Hail The Watcher:** I’ll take it

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** After what happened last time I’m actually going to have some restraint and not ask the others in the demon chat what they are

**I’m Awesome:** Wow Meg having restraint? That’s a first

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I DON’T

**The Pearly White Gates**

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** ALRIGHT

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Because @ **Naomi** @ **Hannah** @ **Alfie** @ **Fuck You Lucifer** don’t know Harry Potter and we aren’t acknowledging trash I’m gonna give you guys Hogwarts houses

**Fuck You Lucifer:** Okay???????

**Alfie:** I actually do cause Alfie showed me in his mind

**Alfie:** He was a huuuuuuge Harry Potter nerd

**Alfie:** I’m Hufflepuff :)

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** You’re too precious

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I love him

**Alfie:** Thanks?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Hannah** you’re also Hufflepuff with maybe a bit of Slytherin

**Hannah:** Okay cool!

**Alfie:** @ **Fuck You Lucifer** Slytherin

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Definitely but maybe a bit of Gryffindor?

**Alfie:** Agreed

**Fuck You Lucifer:** Aight

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Naomi** I think maybe Ravenclaw? But also Slytherin? But also a bit of Hufflepuff? I DON’T KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Alfie:** Yeah idk either

**Alfie:** What are you guys?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I’m Hufflepuff/Slytherin and so are Anna, Cas and Balthazar

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Michael is Slytherin, Lucifer is Slytherin and slightly Gryffindor and Raphael is Ravenclaw

**Alfie:** I feel like Raphael is also slightly Slytherin

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Oh my father you’re right

**#FUCKMETATRONGANG**

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Samandriel says that Raphael is slightly Slytherin I just wanted to say that

**All Hail The Watcher:** AGREED

**The Pearly White Gates**

**The best writer:** I’m Slytherin/Ravenclaw

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Fuck you

**The best writer:** What did I say?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Just fuck you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay so I did this because I thought it would be easy but that was actually kinda hard, sorry if you disagree with my picks. I feel like Azazel is Hufflepuff cause he’s the only Prince who stayed loyal to Hell and Lucifer and Cain I have no idea. I feel like he’s Slytherin but I HAVE NO IDEA. If you had any different houses for the characters, I'd love to hear them!~ Also in case you were wondering I’m a Slytherin! Ideas, prompts or requests are still open! Some I may not do because don't anything about them but I will try my best :)


	10. Chapter 10 - Is Will Smith Dead?: You are my fire

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Favourite fantasy movie/movie series/TV show

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Go

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Narnia

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** FOR NARNIA

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Mines also Narnia

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Harry Potter

**Impala67:** That’s expected

**The Other Responsible One:** Harry Potter too

**Impala67:** Game of Thrones

**A Single Man Tear:** ^^^^

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** LotR/Hobbit

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** ^^^^

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Merlin

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Nice

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** The Witcher

**All Hail The Watcher:** Do Good Omens and American Gods count?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Absolutely

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Shadowhunters and does Lucifer count?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** 100%

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Sweet

**The Responsible One:** Game of Thrones

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I’m going to assume the rest of the chat haven’t seen anything fantasy so

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Why do you ask?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** IDK I’m bored

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** What fictional character’s life would you want to live in?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I want to be Hermione

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Does it have to be a fantasy character?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** No

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Ok

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Still have no idea

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Captain Jack fucking Sparrow

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Fair

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** You want to be on the run from the British forever?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Fuck you I want to be a pirate with an awesome ship

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Aight

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Lucy Pensive

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Yeah I agree one of the Pensives

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** One of those guys from What We Do In The Shadows

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I LOVE THAT MOVIE

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Jake Peralta? IDK

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Brooklyn 99 is amazing! Yaaaaaaaaaasssssssssss!

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Okay fuck my last question

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** What’s your favourite B99 bit/scene

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Rosa being sick (A/N: Same Kevin same)

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** WHERE IS MY FILE

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Gina is everyone right now

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Every Halloween heist

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** All the title of your sex tapes

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** The Jimmy Jab Games

**The Other Responsible One:** Jake and Amy’s wedding

**All Hail The Watcher:** Boyle Thanksgiving Bingo

**A Single Man Tear:** All Pontiac Bandit episodes

**Impala67:** Jake calling Holt dad

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Everyone trying to get Gina off her phone

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Jake and Holt in Florida

**Impala67:** No don’t eat the burrito

**All Hail The Watcher:** *Eats burrito*

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Jake proposes to Amy

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Everyone imitating Holt eating a marshmallow

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I think it was the song I want it that way

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Backstreet Boys I’m familiar

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Is Will Smith Dead?** can you sing the opening to I Want It That Way

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** What? Okay

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** You are my fire

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **All Hail The Watcher** keep it going

**All Hail The Watcher:** The one desire

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002)**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Believe when I say

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **A Single Man Tear** !

**A Single Man Tear:** That I want it that way

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** TELL ME WHY

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Ain’t nothing but a heartache

**All Hail The Watcher:** Ain’t nothing but a heartache

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Ain’t nothing but a heartache

**A Single Man Tear:** Ain’t nothing but a heartache

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** TELL ME WHY

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Ain’t nothing but a mistake

**All Hail The Watcher:** Ain’t nothing but a mistake

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Ain’t nothing but a mistake

**A Single Man Tear:** Ain’t nothing but a mistake

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Now @ **We saw the ad on craigslist**

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAY

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Woo!

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** That I want it that way

**All Hail The Watcher:** That I want it that way

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** That I want it that way

**A Single Man Tear:** That I want it that way

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** That I want it that way

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Chills guys literal chills

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** It was @ **We saw the ad on craigslist**

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** @ **We saw the ad on craigslist** killed my brother

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Oh wow I forgot about that part

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** This chat gets so off track I hate it

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** I’ve just learnt how to ignore it

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** I’m waiting for them to give up

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** WE NEVER WILL

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Gabriel has ADHD pass it on

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Gabriel has sucked a d pass it on

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Gabriel once fucked a bee pass it on

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Gabriel once bucked a key pass it on

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Gabriel once chucked a me pass it on

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** How the media works

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Okay so the what characters are you thing was an idea from a friend of mine so thank you for the idea!!!! Also my favourite fantasy movie is Narnia, my favourite fantasy TV show is Supernatural and my favourite Brooklyn 99 scene is a tie between sick Rosa and the Backstreet Boys. Yes the ending was based on that one tumblr post. Requests/suggestions are always welcome! :)


	11. Chapter 11 - A Single Man Tear: We got some daddy issues here

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'M FINALLY FOLLOWING THE TAGS

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

**Fuck the Apocalypse**

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ has kicked  _ **_Impala67_ ** _ from the chat:  _ **_Fuck the Apocalypse_ **

**A Single Man Tear:** Why??????????????????????????????

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Because we need to discuss him and how fucking oblivious he is because I’m sick of it and I’m sick of Balthazar losing his mind over it!

**A Single Man Tear:** Okay?

**A Single Man Tear:** Let’s take it to the main chat

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ has deleted 4 conversations from the chat:  _ **_Fuck the Apocalypse_ **

  
  


**#FUCKMETATRONGANG**

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_** _has kicked_ ** _Impala67_** _and_ ** _We saw the ad on craigslist_** _from the chat:_ ** _#FUCKMETATRONGANG_**

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** ???????????

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Why???????????????

**A Single Man Tear:** BECAUSE WE NEED TO FUCKING TALK ABOUT HOW FUCKING OBLIVIOUS DEAN AND CAS ARE I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I’VE BEEN DEALING WITH THIS SHIT FOR TEN FUCKING YEARS AND I’M FUCKING OVER IT SO WE ARE TALKING ABOUT IT AND WE ARE FUCKING GETTING THEM TOGETHER OR I WILL WILLINGLY GO BACK TO THE FUCKING CAGE

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** ^^

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Well that just happened

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Sam has finally snapped

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I’ve also been dealing with this shit for way too long

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**I Am Your Father:** ^^^^^^^^^^

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** So we all know that Dean has the hots for Cas

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** But does Cas like Dean though?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** YES

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** YES

**Fuck off:** YES

**Wait until I get out of here:** YES

**All Hail The Watcher:** YES

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** YES

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Every single angel: YES

**A Single Man Tear:** Yes but they’re both fucking pussies and won’t talk to each other

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** I tried to fucking talk to Dean but

**_We’re Here For The Cult Stuff_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** OH. MY. FUCKING. GOD.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DUDE

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** NO WAY

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** YOU ARE F A K E N E W S

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** It’s real

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** It’s when we were talking about Dean and Anna fucking

**All Hail The Watcher:** There are better ways to say that but yeah

**I’m Awesome:** That’s what you meant by someone else

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Y E S

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** So how will we get them together?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** IDK lock them in a closet and not let them out?

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** I do know a variety of spells that could work

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** NO

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** THE AUTHOR WILL NOT LET THIS BECOME A FUCK OR DIE FANFIC

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** What author

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** What?

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** What?

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** What?

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** You said what first

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Ladies please, there’s only room for one hysterical queen and that’s Charlie

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Gabriel is my king

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** <3

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** <3

**A Single Man Tear:** We will not be drugging my brother and friend

**King of Hell:** We could tell them confess or we will

**A Single Man Tear:** We will NOT be threatening my brother and friend

**Wait until I get out of here:** Just force them to by torture

**A Single Man Tear:** We will NOT BE DOING THAT EITHER

**Fuck off:** Even I thought that is too far

**Wait until I get out of here:** Fuck you

**Fuck off:** COME AT ME BITCH

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Children please, there’s only room for one hysterical angel and that’s me

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Wait why haven’t they?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** *shrugs*

**A Single Man Tear:** Because Dean doesn’t think he deserves Cas and that he’ll ‘taint’ him or something like that

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** That’s deadass what Cas thinks too

**A Single Man Tear:** ?

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** He thinks he doesn’t deserve Dean and that he’s made too many mistakes or some shit

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** And I’m sitting here like b r u h

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** NO ONE DESERVES DEAN MORE THAN YOU CAS ISTF

**A Single Man Tear:** I’ve tried to tell Dean that too

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** We got some self-esteem issues here

**A Single Man Tear:** We got some daddy issues here

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** ???

**A Single Man Tear:** John and a son who likes guys don’t mix

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Right

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** There’s nothing in the bible about gay people idk why people use religion as an excuse

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yeah fuck you, you’re not religious you’re an asshole

**Fuck off:** ^^^^^^^^^^

**Wait until I get out of here:** The one thing I agree with you on

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** The archangels just told everyone to sit the fuck down

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** God did say love thy neighbour as thyself

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** NO EXCEPTIONS

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Jesus said chill

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Angels don’t even have a gender technically

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** We just use the pronouns our vessel uses

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** So there’s no problems with it we just have to tell them that

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Aight so split up the hunters will handle Dean and the angels+Meg will handle Cas

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** SPLIT

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ has deleted 81 conversations from the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_** _has added_ ** _Impala67_** _and_ ** _We saw the ad on craigslist_** _to the chat:_ ** _#FUCKMETATRONGANG_**

**Fuck the Apocalypse**

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ has added  _ **_Impala67_ ** _ to the chat: _ **_Fuck the Apocalypse_ **

**Impala67:** Why was I kicked?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Miss click?

**The Pearly White Gates**

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has kicked  _ **_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ from the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**Hannah:** ?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** WE’RE TRYING TO GET CAS AND DEAN TOGETHER SO I’M GOING TO ADD A DEMON WHO KNOWS HIM WELL TO THE CHAT AND AS A GROUP WE ARE GOING TO TALK TO CAS

**Fuck You Lucifer:** WHY ARE YOU YELLING

**Alfie:** SO ARE YOU

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has added  _ **_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** The Pearly White Gates?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Really?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** That’s all you got?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Hi I’m Meg I’m a demon

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** WHATEVER

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Cas doesn’t think he deserves Dean and that he’s made too many mistakes so we’re trying

**Alfie:** So we’re trying to get them together got it

**Naomi:** He stopped listening to my orders because it was him so yeah he definitely loves him

**The best writer:** @ **Fuck You Lucifer** what did I say

**Fuck You Lucifer:** FUCK YOU BITCH

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has kicked  _ **_The best writer_ ** _ from the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**Fuck You Lucifer:** Thank you

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has deleted 10 conversations from the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

  
**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has added  _ **_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **


	12. Chapter 12 - Wait until I get out of here: OH THAT IS SUCH A LIE

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Why was I kicked?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Miss click?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Okay?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I see you kicked trash

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yeah he’s not coming back

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Why is Meg here?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Because this is an intervention

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** ?????????????

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** U AND DEAN AR THE MOT OVLIBIOUS PEOPL IVE EVR MET

**Fuck You Lucifer:** Are you okay??????????

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** No I’m having a stroke because of you and Dean

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Gadreel what did you do

**Fuck You Lucifer:** HES TALKING ABOUT YOU DUMBASS

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** ??????????????????????????

**Fuck off:** OH FOR FUCKS SAKE

**Fuck off:** THE FACT THAT YOU LOVE DEAN DUMBASS

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I-

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** DONT EVEN THINK ABOUT LEAVING YOU B I T C H

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** What she said

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I don’t though??????????????

**Wait until I get out of here:** OH THAT IS SUCH A LIE

**Wait until I get out of here:** This is the one thing I will work with Lucifer on

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Treasure this moment

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** aNywat

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** We’re sick of you and Dean dancing around each other

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** It’s been going on for ten fucking years

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** And I’m sick of your fucking denial and your fucking self deprecation

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** And if i have to hear to talk about his fucking eyes and his fucking lips and his fucking face one more time IM GONNA LOSE IT

**Naomi:** You fell for him

**Naomi:** Don’t you dare tell me that you don’t love Dean

**Alfie:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**Hannah:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^

**_All Hail The Watcher_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**All Hail The Watcher:** Seriously dude

**All Hail The Watcher:** You sounded so angry and concerned when Dean said we fucked

**All Hail The Watcher:** Don’t you fucking tell me that you don’t love him

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Balthazar you really downplayed the denial

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** So, what if I do?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I’ve fucked up so much

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** He probably hates me

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Dude he does not fucking hate you

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Not in the slightest

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I wasn’t going to say it but istf I have to

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** HE LOVES YOU TOO IDIOT

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** No he doesn’t

**Fuck off:** SAM LITERALLY TOLD THE WHOLE CHAT THAT DEAN TOLD HIM THAT HE LOVED YOU

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Sam was lying

**Alfie:** WHY WOULD HE LIE ABOUT THAT?!

**Fuck You Lucifer:** I’ve been in Sam’s head and yeah Dean did tell him that

**Fuck off:** I’ve also been in your head so...DON’T START WITH THE DENIAL SHIT AGAIN

**_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ has left the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** You gonna add him back or?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I’ll give him 24 hours

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Okay then nice meeting everyone

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** BYEEEEEEEEEE~~~~

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_ ** _ has left the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**Fuck the Apocalypse**

**Impala67:** Okay so why were Cas and I really kicked from the main chat?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Fine

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** We were talking about how much you have a crush on him but won’t admit it

**Impala67:** Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh

**A Single Man Tear:** Don’t you dare try to deny it you’ve told me how much you love him before

**Impala67:** I was drunk?

**A Single Man Tear:** No you weren’t

**Impala67:** It’s not like he’d like me anyway so what’s the point?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** *facepalm* UGH

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I fucking hate you Dean

**Impala67:** Why?

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** BECAUSE BALTHAZAR FUCKING TOLD US THAT CASTIEL LIKES YOU TOO YA IDJIT

**Impala67:** He was obviously lying

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Why the fuck would he lie about that?!

**Impala67:** He’s a dick?

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Is it too late to kill him?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I think CAS would bring him back immediately

**Impala67:** Fuck this shit I’m leaving

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ has changed  _ **_Impala67_ ** _ ’s settings to:  _ **_Locked_ ** _.  _ **_Impala67_ ** _ can no longer leave the chat:  _ **_Fuck the Apocalypse_ **

**Impala67:** What the fuck

**Impala67:** You’re giving me the Lucifer treatment?!

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Yes

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Dude just talk to him okay

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Seriously the fucking sexual tension is getting too much

**Impala67:** You guys would seriously be okay with it?

**A Single Man Tear:** We aren’t John

**A Single Man Tear:** We don’t care who you love as long as you’re happy dammit

**Impala67:** Okay okay I’ll talk to him

_ Private chat between:  _ **_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ and  _ **_Impala67_ **

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Dean we need to talk

**Impala67:** Did the angels jump you too?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** And Meg

**Impala67:** On the angel chat?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Gabriel added her

**Impala67:** Right

**Impala67:** What did you want to talk about?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I feel like this conversation would be better in person

**Impala67:** Okay????

**At Dean’s room because why the fuck not** (A/N: I’m bad at normal story writing especially with dialouge so I’m sorry in advance)

_ How can they be okay with this? I’m not normal. Well Charlie and Claire are normal but that’s because they only like girls. I’m not normal. I just had to like both didn’t I? _

A knock breaks Dean out of his thoughts.

“Come in!” Dean’s voice called.

“Hello Dean,” Castiel said while opening the door.

“Hey Cas, sit down,” Dean replied, sitting up and removing his headphones.

Castiel shut the door and sat down on the chair in the corner of Dean’s room, feeling awkward.

“So what did you want to talk about?” Dean asked, also feeling slightly awkward.

“I wanted to say something that I should have said a long time ago,” Castiel started, looking at his shoes like they were the most interesting thing in the world, “My brothers and sisters finally convinced me to say it.”

Dean sat up straighter at this.

“What?” Dean asked, worrying about what exactly the angels told him. He knew that angels weren’t always the most accepting of him.

“Ever since I saw you in Hell I knew you were going to be different,” Castiel said, “As soon as I touched your soul I knew that I was, in your terms ‘fucked’.”

Dean smiled slightly at the air quotes.

“Dean,” Castiel said, looking up into Dean’s eyes, “I lied when I told you the reason I fell. I didn’t fall because of the Apocalypse. I didn’t fall because I attacked Michael or opened Purgatory or even because of Metatron. I fell because of you, Dean. I fell because…”

Castiel sighed and looked down for a second before looking back into Dean’s eyes.

“I fell because I fell in love with you Dean.”


	13. Not an Update: #BlackLivesMatter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE YOU SKIP OR HATE ME OR WHATEVER DEPENDING ON YOUR VIEWS READ THE ENTIRE THING

Hi everyone! I just wanted to say that I fully support the #BlackLivesMatter and the #IndigenousLivesMatter campaigns and I support the protests.

Here are some links to petitions, donations etc #BLM #ICan'tBreathe

https://secure.actblue.com/donate/ms_blm_homepage_2019

https://blacklivesmatter.com/defundthepolice/

https://www.change.org/p/andy-beshear-justice-for-breonna-taylor?source_location=topic_page

https://www.change.org/p/state-of-georgia-fire-sheriff-ron-freeman-stop-his-corruption-and-constant-cover-ups-as-sheriff-in-forsyth-count?source_location=topic_page

https://www.change.org/p/hold-minneapolis-officers-accountable-for-killing-george-floyd-as-he-begs-don-t-kill-me-bring-first-degree-murder-and-third-degree-manslaughter-charges-to-the-officers-involved?source_location=topic_page

https://www.change.org/p/nypd-fire-racist-criminal-michael-j-reynolds-from-the-nypd?source_location=topic_page

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WKo8OrBdLz8

However I do not support the looting of private and local businesses. Fuck Target, Walmart, Kmart etc but if you are protesting leave local businesses alone as those are people's livelihoods. I also do not support whoever the fuck ran over a police officer, killing or trying to kill police officers will not do anything but make it worse and more lives will be lost. I am in no manner an expert on the subject but killing people will just lead to more killing. Fuck Donald Trump, fuck police brutality and fuck racists. All lives will matter when black lives matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll update tomorrow and then the Destiel trilogy will be complete.


	14. Chapter 13 - Impala67: You should NOT know that

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Again I apologise for my terrible writing I'm only good at writing texts😂

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

“I fell because I fell in love with you Dean.”

It took a few seconds for Dean to fully comprehend what Castiel was saying and when he did he felt like he had the breath knocked out of him.

“What?”

“I love you Dean Winchester.”

Dean looked at Castiel, trying to work out if this was some cruel joke and took in his nervous expression.

“Cas I-,” Dean looked down, trying to find the words. His mind had a million thoughts running through his head so he just settled for the one that was the loudest, “I love you too Cas.”

Castiel’s face lit up as soon as those five words came out of Dean’s mouth.

_ His smile is so adorable _ Dean thought.

“Can I kiss you Dean? I heard that’s what hu-”

Dean moved across the room to Castiel and tilted his head up before kissing him firmly. It was a short kiss as Dean leaned back.

“Yes Cas,” Dean said, slightly breathless, “Yes you can. As many times as you want.”

Castiel smiled before pulling Dean down by his shirt for another kiss. When they pulled apart Dean felt like he was walking on thin air.

“Wow,” Dean said, his voice barely above a whisper, “We’ve really been dancing around each other for more than ten years.”

“That we have,” Castiel agreed, “Through everything, even though it may not have felt like it, I never stopped loving you Dean.”

At that Dean pulled Castiel up and pulled him into a hug. Dean felt like if he let go Castiel would disappear. A ding sounded from Castiel’s phone. Castiel leaned back slightly to see who was messaging him.

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Has Anyone Checked The News_ ** _ and  _ **_We saw the ad on craigslist_ **

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** u guys good?

Castiel smiled up at Dean and looked back to his phone to type a reply.

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Has Anyone Checked The News_ ** _ and  _ **_We saw the ad on craigslist_ **

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Yeah we’re more than good

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** FUCKING FINALLY

**_Has Anyone Checked The News_ ** _ has taken a screenshot of a private message between  _ **_Has Anyone Checked The News_ ** _ and  _ **_We saw the ad on craigslist_ **

**#FUCKMETATRONGANG**

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Ladies, gentlemen, angels and demons I present to you

**_Has Anyone Checked The News_** _has sent a photo to the chat:_ ** _#FUCKMETATRONGANG_**

**A Single Man Tear:** DOES THIS MEAN WHAT I THINK IT MEANS?!?!?!?!

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** OH MY GOD OKAY IT'S HAPPENING

Castiel and Dean just laughed at the messages as they lay down together on Dean’s bed, holding each other.

“Should we actually properly tell everyone?” Castiel asked.

“If you want to, yeah,” Dean replied.

Castiel nodded.

“Then this should be proof enough,” Dean said, holding his phone up above them and pulling Castiel into another kiss.

The sound of a camera clicking filled the room before they pulled apart. Dean showed Castiel the photo before sending it to the chat

**_Impala67_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** YEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSS

**A Single Man Tear:** FINALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLYYYYYYYYYYYY

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** TOOK YOU GUYS LONG ENOUGH

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Dudes yes!

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Woooooooooooo

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** I can’t even! Yes!

**The Other Responsible One:** I’m so proud of you guys! :)

**The Responsible One:** It took you boys long enough

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

**All Hail The Watcher:** Holy shit

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** It may have taken over ten years but you idjits finally did it

**I Am Your Father:** And all the fanfiction has come true

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** *Cue the fangirls losing their minds*

**A Single Man Tear:** Cas just so you know we will fuck you up if you hurt him

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** ^^^^^^

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** ^^^^^^^^^^

**The Other Responsible One:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**The Responsible One:** ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Of course

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Has Anyone Checked The News_ ** _ and  _ **_We saw the ad on craigslist_ **

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Dean wants you to add him to the angel chat for a second

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** kk

**The Pearly White Gates**

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has added  _ **_Impala67_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**Fuck you Lucifer:** WHO????

**_Impala67_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**Impala67:** There we did it

**Hannah:** Dean I know we had some problems in the past but I’m really happy for you two

**Alfie:** IT’S BEEN 84 YEARS

**Fuck you Lucifer:** You two finally got your heads out of your asses

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** FINALLY YOU CAN BOTH STOP WHINING TO SAM AND I I’M SO PROUD OF YOU GUYS AND FUCKING YES

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Is this pride I feel?

**Fuck off:** What is this positive emotion I’m feeling?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** It’s called happiness bro

**Fuck off:** Disgusting

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Oh brother

**Wait until I get out of here:** Now this is the part where us archangels threaten you

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Dean if you hurt our baby bro we will smite you where you stand

**Fuck off:** And if you thought it was Hell last time just wait

**Impala67:** Understood

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I-

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Y’all

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Dean looks terrified

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Good because we do know where you live

**Impala67:** You should NOT know that

**Wait until I get out of here:** We’re archangels

**Impala67:** Fair enough

**Naomi:** I’m proud of you Castiel

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Okay I’m kicking you now Dean

**Impala67:** Aight

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has kicked  _ **_Impala67_ ** _ from the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

“Did they seriously feel the need to do that?” Castiel complained, feeling somewhat embarrassed.

“It just means they care about you,” Dean replied, pulling the angel closer, “Stay with me?”   
“Always Dean.”

**#FUCKMETATRONGANG**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Now we just have to get the other ship together

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** ^^^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So this whole non-chat stuff isn’t going to be commonplace because I suck at it but I just thought that this confession deserved to be in person instead of over a chat. ALSO I’M PLANNING ON GETTING SAM AND GABE TOGETHER BUT IDK HOW CAUSE DOING THE SAME THING WOULD BE BORING SO ANY IDEAS ARE WELCOME!


	15. Chapter 14 - I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002): You say this while we’re in the middle of the Hunger Games

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** ALRIGHT

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** HUNGER GAMES SIMULATOR 2.0

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** HOSTED BY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Impala67:** Oh no

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** i LoVe MY BRoTHeR

**A Single Man Tear:** So we all agree that Gabe’s the definition of chaotic right?

**Impala67:** Yes and it’s painful

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** LET’S START

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** The Bloodbath

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Jo stays at the cornucopia for resources. Rowena, Alex, Cas, Balthazar, Jody, Dean, Bobby, Ruby, Raphael, Meg, Crowley, Abaddon, Anna and Michael run away from the Cornucopia.

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** COWARDS

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Absolute cowards

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Sam runs into the cornucopia and hides.

**Impala67:** Pussy

**A Single Man Tear:** YOU RAN AWAY WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Claire snatches a pair of sais. Ellen kills Chuck with a sickle.

**I Am Your Father:** Really?

**The Responsible One:** Better you than me

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Charlie scares Garth away from the cornucopia. Lucifer cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide.

**Fuck off:** Wot

**Wait until I get out of here:** Really right in front of my salad

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Gabriel finds a bow, some arrows, and a quiver.

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I AM KATNISS EVERDEEN

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Kevin retrieves a trident from inside the cornucopia.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I AM AQUAMAN

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Day 1

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Michael runs away from Sam.

**Wait until I get out of here:** Incorrect

**A Single Man Tear:** Correct

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Cas, Raphael, Balthazar, Claire, and Abaddon track down and kill Anna.

**All Hail The Watcher:** DUDES

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Kevin, Jo, and Bobby hunt for other tributes.

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** The trio we didn’t know we needed but so desperately did

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Jody steals from Crowley while he isn't looking.

**King of Hell:** Seriously?

**The Other Responsible One:** Yeah fuck you

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Charlie shoots an arrow at Ellen, but misses and kills Gabriel instead.

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** WHAT THE FUCK CHARLIE

**The Responsible One:** Really?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** IM SORRY GABE I CANT SHOOT ARROWS

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I am disgusted

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Dean searches for firewood. Meg receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor.

**King of Hell:** No no no

**Impala67:** Don’t give her explosives

**Impala67:** She’s creative

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Boom boom motherfuckers

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Ruby hunts for other tributes. Garth scares Rowena off. Alex questions her sanity.

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Arena Event!!!!!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** A swarm of tracker jackers invades the arena.

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Sam, Alex, Jo and Rowena survive.

**All Hail The Watcher:** That doesn’t sound good

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Dean, Claire, Kevin and Bobby run out of places to run and are stung to death.

**Impala67:** I-

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Ellen knocks Balthazar unconscious and leaves him there as bait.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Ellen is a savage QUEEN

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** I’m so offended

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** While running away from the tracker jackers, Ruby grabs Abaddon and throws her to the ground.

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** I will find you

**I’m Awesome:** Fuck

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** While running away from the tracker jackers, Michael grabs Garth and throws him to the ground. While running away from the tracker jackers, Cas grabs Jody and throws her to the ground.

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I’m sorry Jody

**The Other Responsible One:** All g

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** While running away from the tracker jackers, Crowley grabs Charlie and throws her to the ground.

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I will find you

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** And I will kill you

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Meg is stung to death.

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Damnit

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Raphael slowly dies from the tracker jacker toxins.

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** This is fine

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Fallen Tributes

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Chuck, Lucifer, Anna, Gabriel, Dean, Bobby, Balthazar, Abaddon, Claire, Kevin, Garth, Jody, Charlie, Meg and Raphael

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** SO MANY DEAD

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Night 1

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Sam receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor. Alex sees a fire, but stays hidden. Ruby is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth. Ellen and Cas huddle for warmth.

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Ellen I love you please don’t kill me

**The Responsible One:** I love you too Cas but no promises

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Jo begs for Crowley to kill her. He refuses, keeping Jo alive. Michael attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful.

**Fuck off:** Get fucked loser

**Wait until I get out of here:** You’re dead shut up

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Rowena tends to her wounds.

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** The Feast

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Cas falls into a frozen lake and drowns.

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Shit

**Impala67:** Hahahaha

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** WTF

**Impala67:** Sorry Cas I love you but you survived killer wasps and Ellen’s fury and you die by drowning

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** *GASPS* He said it

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I love you too

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** This is so pure I love it

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** You say this while we’re in the middle of the Hunger Games

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** And?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Sam dies from an infection.

**Impala67:** Get fucked

**A Single Man Tear:** Fuck off

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Ruby and Alex decide not to go to The Feast. Rowena gathers as much food into a bag as she can before fleeing. Ellen stuffs a bundle of dry clothing into a backpack before sprinting away. Crowley gathers as much food into a bag as he can before fleeing. Michael stuffs a bundle of dry clothing into a backpack before sprinting away. Jo accidentally steps on a landmine.

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Fuck

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Day 2

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Rowena and Ellen work together for the day. Ruby scares Alex off. Michael defeats Crowley in a fight, but spares his life.

**Wait until I get out of here:** I would never

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Fallen Tributes

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Cas, Sam, Jo, Chuck, Lucifer, Anna, Gabriel, Dean, Bobby, Balthazar, Abaddon, Claire, Kevin, Garth, Jody, Charlie, Meg and Raphael

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Night 2

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Ellen, Ruby, and Michael discuss the games and what might happen in the morning. Crowley and Alex hold hands.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** EW

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Rowena cannot handle the circumstances and commits suicide.

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** ????????????????????

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Day 3

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Crowley practices his archery. Ellen searches for firewood. Alex shoots an arrow into Michael's head.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** This is what you get bitch

**Wait until I get out of here:** The fuck do you want

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Ruby hunts for other tributes.

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Fallen Tributes

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Rowena, Michael, Cas, Sam, Jo, Chuck, Lucifer, Anna, Gabriel, Dean, Bobby, Balthazar, Abaddon, Claire, Kevin, Garth, Jody, Charlie, Meg and Raphael

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Night 3

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Crowley, Ellen, and Alex discuss the games and what might happen in the morning. Ruby is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth.

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Day 4

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Ruby camouflages herself in the bushes. Alex tracks down and kills Ellen.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** IM SORRY ELLEN I LOVE YOU

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Crowley fishes.

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** LAME

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Fallen Tributes

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Ellen, Rowena, Michael, Cas, Sam, Jo, Chuck, Lucifer, Anna, Gabriel, Dean, Bobby, Balthazar, Abaddon, Claire, Kevin, Garth, Jody, Charlie, Meg and Raphael

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Night 4

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Crowley and Alex run into each other and decide to truce for the night.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Never

**King of Hell:** ^^^^^^^^^^^

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Ruby accidentally steps on a landmine.

**A Single Man Tear:** Sit down bitch

**I’m Awesome:** What the hell

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Day 5

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Alex decapitates Crowley with a sword.

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** ALEX WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** HEY LOOK MA I MADE IT

**Impala67:** This is the second time Crowley has come second

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** AND WE MOVE OVER TO CROWLEY WHO HAS COME SECOND FOR THE SECOND TIME IN A ROW HOW DO YOU FEEL @ **King of Hell**

**King of Hell:** FUCK OFF

**Welcome to Hell**

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** #crowleycantevenwinthehungergameshowthefuckishesupposedtoleadus

**I’m Awesome:** #crowleycantevenwinthehungergameshowthefuckishesupposedtoleadus

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** #crowleycantevenwinthehungergameshowthefuckishesupposedtoleadus

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** #crowleycantevenwinthehungergameshowthefuckishesupposedtoleadus

**Fuck off:** #crowleycantevenwinthehungergameshowthefuckishesupposedtoleadus

**King of Hell:** Really?

**Cain:** Do I want to know

**Fuck off:** Not really

**Yellow Eyes:** oof

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_** _has taken a screenshot of the chat:_ ** _Welcome to Hell_**

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**All Hail The Watcher:** We stan a queen

**Welcome to Hell**

  
**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_ ** _ has has changed the group chat name to  _ **_#crowleycantevenwinthehungergameshowthefuckishesupposedtoleadus_ **


	16. Chapter 15 - A Single Man Tear: CAS JUST SPAT OUT HIS FUCKING DRINK

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I’m bored

**Impala67:** Okay?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** We should play truth or dare

**Impala67:** Fuck no

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Fuck yes

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** ALRIGHT WHO WANTS TO START

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** I DO

**A Single Man Tear:** Oh god no

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** @ **Why do I put up with this shit?**

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Why me?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Truth or dare?

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Truth

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Coward

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** How old are you really?

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Since the beginning

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** All of the archangels are

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** That’s a lame truth

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** I was hoping he would say dare

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Raphael your turn

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Okay?

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** @ **All Hail The Watcher**

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Truth or Dare

**All Hail The Watcher:** DARE BECAUSE I’M NOT A PUSSY

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** RAPHAEL JUST LOOKED UP AND HE LOOKED SO OFFENDED HOLY SHIT

**Impala67:** Wait you’re with him?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yeah I found him a few days ago

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** And he won’t leave

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Anyway

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Anna

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** I dare you to say the hardest Enochian tongue twister

**All Hail The Watcher:** FUUUUUUUUUUUCK

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** ALL DARES MUST BE FILMED

**_All Hail The Watcher_ ** _ has sent a video to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**Fuck off:** Holy shit she did it

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I’M SHOOKETH

**All Hail The Watcher:** @ **We saw the ad on craigslist**

**All Hail The Watcher:** Truth or Dare

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I’m scared but dare

**All Hail The Watcher:** I dare you to send your favourite photo of Dean you have saved on your phone cause I know you have a lot

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** True

**Impala67:** Wot?

**_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ ** (A/N: This one:  [ https://i.pinimg.com/originals/09/1a/5e/091a5ed61a8b117fc3f90f13137c0961.jpg ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/09/1a/5e/091a5ed61a8b117fc3f90f13137c0961.jpg) )

**Impala67:** HOW DID YOU GET THAT?!?!

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I’m very sneaky

**Impala67:** Okay?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** @ **Is Will Smith Dead?**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** YES

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Truth or Dare

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** DARE

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Do a backflip

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Aight

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ has sent a video to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Dude are you okay?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Yeah

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** That’s why I had a mattress

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Safety first kids!

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **Impala67**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Truth or Dare

**Impala67:** Dare

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Send in your favourite photo of Cas

**Impala67:** K

**_Impala67_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ ** (A/N: This one:  [ https://i.pinimg.com/originals/dc/27/5d/dc275d9e227ca694d8d786b0836f5f3c.jpg ](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/dc/27/5d/dc275d9e227ca694d8d786b0836f5f3c.jpg) )

**All Hail The Watcher:** That’s so wholesome I love it

**Impala67:** That’s the one that’s appropriate for a child audience

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Ah that makes sense

**A Single Man Tear:** CAS JUST SPAT OUT HIS FUCKING DRINK

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** They’re both thirsty as fuck

**Impala67:** @ **A Single Man Tear**

**A Single Man Tear:** Oh no

**Impala67:** Truth or Dare

**A Single Man Tear:** Truth

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** BORING

**Impala67:** Do you like someone and if so who is it?

**A Single Man Tear:** No

**Impala67:** LIES

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** LIES

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Wat

**A Single Man Tear:** Moving on

**A Single Man Tear:** @ **Has Anyone Checked The News?**

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yo

**A Single Man Tear:** Truth or Dare?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Dare

**A Single Man Tear:** Fly up in the air, do a backflip, put your wings away and then open them again before hitting the ground

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** DARE ACCEPTED

**A Single Man Tear:** Wait no

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Why do I put up with this shit?** YOU GOTTA FILM ME

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** <

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has sent a video to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**A Single Man Tear:** I DIDN’T ACTUALLY WANT YOU TO DO IT

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** THEN WHY’D YOU DARE ME

**A Single Man Tear:** I DIDN’T THINK YOU’D ACTUALLY DO IT

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** This is Gabriel we’re talking about

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** OF COURSE HE’D FUCKING DO IT

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I’M UNHARMED AREN’T I?

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Actually you pulled a muscle and a couple feathers fell out

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** NO ONE ASKED YOU RAPH

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Is no one going to talk about the fact that that’s actually impressive?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Thank you Meg

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** <3

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** <3

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Fuck off**

**Fuck off:** Fuck off

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Fuck off**

**Fuck off:** F u c k o f f

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Fuck off**

**Fuck off:** FUCK OFF

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Fuck off**

**Fuck off:** F U C K O F F

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Truth or Dare

**Wait until I get out of here:** Do it pussy

**Fuck off:** FINE DARE

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Do the rap from Rap God

**Fuck off:** *sigh*

**_Fuck off_ ** _ has sent a video to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** d u d e

**Impala67:** WTF

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** That’s actually impressive wtf

**Fuck off:** @ **Wait until I get out of here**

**Fuck off:** Truth or Dare

**Wait until I get out of here:** Dare

**Fuck off:** Try to escape the cage I dare you

**Wait until I get out of here:** Fuck you

**Fuck off:** Likewise bitch

**Wait until I get out of here:** I WILL FUCK YOU UP

**Fuck off:** FUCKING TRY ME BITCH

**Wait until I get out of here:** I’LL FUCKING KILL YOU BITCH

**Fuck off:** Rip off your wings and shove em up your ass bitch

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** OKAY we’re just going to mute them

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has muted  _ **_Fuck off_ ** _ and  _ **_Wait until I get out of here_ **

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I draw the line at wings

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Bal imma just make it your turn

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Sweet

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** @ **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY**

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Truth or Dare

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** DARE

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Call Crowley demon style and tell him something

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Aight

**A Single Man Tear:** DUDE SHE NEEDS HUMAN BLOOD FOR THAT

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Or lower tier demon blood

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY** _has sent a video to the chat:_ ** _#FUCKMETATRONGANG_**

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Done

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** “suck my ten inch dick you fucking dickwad”

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** What did he say back?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** That he’s gonna kill me

**I’m Awesome:** Your lack of fucks gives me so much anxiety

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Yeah

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Megs already had a turn so???????????

**I’m Awesome:** I’ll go

**I’m Awesome:** Someone dare me something

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Do the chicken dance

**I’m Awesome:** *sigh* fine

**_I’m Awesome_ ** _ has sent a video to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**All Hail The Watcher:** (WHEEZE)

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Where are all the children?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** School I believe

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** I was wondering why they weren’t talking

**I’m Awesome:** ^^ Truth or Dare?

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Dare

**I’m Awesome:** Do three straight shots of vodka

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Okay

**_It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000)_ ** _ has sent a video to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Easy claps

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** @ **We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015)**

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Truth or Dare

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Truth

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Fuck I don’t have anything

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Too bad

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** What’s the weirdest hunt you’ve ever been on

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Probably that thing we had to be drunk for

**Impala67:** That Shojo?

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Yeah that one

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Sounds festive

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** @ **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff**

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Truth or Dare

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Dare

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** I dare you to try to hit a bullseye on a dart board with your angel blade

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff** _has sent a video to the chat:_ ** _#FUCKMETATRONGANG_**

**Impala67:** Holy shit

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Damb

**All Hail The Watcher:** Damb?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** D A M B

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** OKAY ONLINE SCHOOL JUST FINISHED WHAT ARE WE DOING

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Truth or Dare

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** FUCK YEAH

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Who’s left?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Kevin, Alex, Claire, Rowena, Bobby, Ellen, Jody, Crowley, Abaddon and Chuck

**King of Hell:** No fuck you I’m not doing this

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Kevin, Alex, Claire, Rowena, Bobby, Ellen, Jody, Abaddon and Chuck

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** No this is childish as fuck

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** OKAY Kevin, Alex, Claire, Rowena, Bobby, Ellen, Jody, and Chuck

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** I’d rather not

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** ALRIGHT Kevin, Alex, Claire, Bobby, Ellen, Jody, and Chuck

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** ANY COMPLAINTS?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** NO?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Okay who wants to go?

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** ME

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** K

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** @ **I Am Your Father**

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Truth or Dare

**I Am Your Father:** Um dare

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** I dare you to take five shots of the strongest alcohol you have

**I Am Your Father:** Okay?

**_I Am Your Father_ ** _ has sent a video to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Damb

**I Am Your Father:** Now I ask someone?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yeah

**I Am Your Father:** @ **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004)** Truth or Dare

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Dare

**I Am Your Father:** I dare you to try shoot five headshots

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Aight

**_I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004)_ ** _ has sent a video to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**Impala67:** SO CLOSE

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** DAMNIT ONE OFF

**A Single Man Tear:** Still that’s really good

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Thanks Sam

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Um

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** @ **The Responsible One**

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Truth or Dare

**The Responsible One:** You guys know that us adults have actual jobs right?

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Yeah but you’re on break right now so

**The Responsible One:** Which means you should be working

**The Responsible One:** Truth

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Uuuuuuuuugggggggghhhhhh

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** What was the easiest and the hardest hunt you’ve done

**The Responsible One:** The easiest was a ghost in New York

**The Responsible One:** And the hardest was three wendigos in Allegheny National Forest

**Impala67:** Sounds fun

**The Responsible One:** @ **The Other Responsible One**

**The Responsible One:** Truth or Dare

**The Other Responsible One:** Truth

**The Responsible One:** Same question because I have no idea

**The Other Responsible One:** Easiest was a ghost in Lawrence and the hardest was that Roman goddess

**A Single Man Tear:** Oh yeah that was  _ so _ much fun

**Impala67:** Yeah I love being trapped underground surrounded by crazy people

**A Single Man Tear:** How were they crazy?

**Impala67:** I think two of them were going to eat one of the other chicks

**A Single Man Tear:** Oh

**The Other Responsible One:** @ **I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess**

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** No

**The Other Responsible One:** Alright then

**The Other Responsible One:** @ **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002)**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** DARE

**The Other Responsible One:** Call a random number

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** K

**_I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002)_ ** _ has sent a video to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** HOLY SHIT IT WAS THE FUCKING HEAD OF THE CIA

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** OH MY GOD YOU ARE FUCKED

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** AM I GOING TO BE PUT ON A WATCH LIST

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** PROBABLY

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** MY LIFE JUST KEEPS GETTING BETTER AND BETTER DOESNT IT

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I AM TURNED INTO A FUCKING PROPHET

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I WATCHED TWO ANGELS BE KILLED BY FUCKING LEVIATHANS

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** THEN I WAS KIDNAPPED BY FUCKING CROWLEY

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I WATCHED MY GIRLFRIEND DIE

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** THEN I HAD TO LIVE IN A FUCKING BOAT TRANSLATING THE STUPID DEMON TABLET SO THAT SAM COULD FUCKING KILL HIMSELF BY COMPLETING THOSE GODDAMN TRIALS

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** THEN I HAD TO SIT IN A FUCKING LOCKED DOWN BUNKER WHILE THE PLACE LOST ITS MIND BECAUSE OF ANGELS FALLING

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** THEN I WAS ALMOST KILLED BY GADREEL

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** AND NOW I FUCKING CALL THE FUCKING DIRECTOR OF THE C I A

**Impala67:** Holy shit

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** You okay bro?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Hey so this is Sam and he’s sort of just lying down on his bed not moving

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I’ve accepted death

**Impala67:** Jesus Christ you’re concerning kiddo

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** So Cas just put him to sleep and he’s probably going to be out for at least 24 hours

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** He hasn’t slept in 3 days

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Fucking Hell dude

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Everyone spam the chat with love for Kevin

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**A Single Man Tear:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**Impala67:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**The Responsible One:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**The Other Responsible One:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**All Hail The Watcher:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**I Am Your Father:** #WELOVEYOUKEVIN

**24 Hours Later**

  
**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Holy shit guys love you too

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So thank you kchips for the idea of truth or dare!


	17. Chapter 16 - We saw the ad on craigslist: Gabriel’s the gay cousin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has unmuted  _ **_Fuck off_ ** _ and  _ **_Wait until I get out of here_ **

**Fuck off:** Fuck you Gabe

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** THERE! HE DID IT AGAIN!

**Fuck off:** *Gabriel

**Fuck off:** Autocorrect

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I KNEW YOU LOVED ME

**Fuck off:** No I don’t

**Wait until I get out of here:** Yes you do

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Ooo tea!

**Fuck off:** There’s no tea here

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Yes there is

**Fuck off:** No there’s not

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Lucifer Heylel Morningstar you will tell us and you will tell us now

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Holy shit she’s scary

**Fuck off:** FINE

**Fuck off:** Gabriel was my favourite angel in heaven

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** *clutches heart* YOU DO LOVE ME

**Wait until I get out of here:** Yeah he still feels bad about stabbing you

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** *clutches heart*

**A Single Man Tear:** He’s actually crying what the fuck did you do?

**A Single Man Tear:** Ah I see

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** HE LOVES ME SAM

**Fuck off:** b r u h

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has taken a screenshot of the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**The Pearly White Gates**

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** HE LOVES ME

**Naomi:** That’s nice dear

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** NO YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** he LOVES ME

**Fuck off:** IDK why you’re making a big deal out of this

**Wait until I get out of here:** Maybe because you stabbed him?

**Fuck off:** I hate you guys so much

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** EXCEPT ME

**Fuck off:** *sigh*

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** You guys don’t get it

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** He’s crying

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** And Sam’s holding him

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** That’s gay

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** No u

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** That was Sam

**Alfie:** Hi Sam

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Samandriel?

**Alfie:** Yep :)

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Is he okay?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** He’s been crying for a while

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I just have a lot of emotions

**Hannah:** This is not how I imagined Gabriel to be

**Fuck off:** You’ve never met him?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** What did you think he’d be like?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I left Heaven like before you fell

**Alfie:** Most of us weren’t even born then

**Hannah:** IDK more like Michael and Raphael

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Michael’s the bossy older brother, Lucifer’s the black sheep rebellious teenager, Raphael’s the nerd and Gabriel is the annoying crackhead little brother.

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Gabriel’s the gay cousin

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** So are you

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** yougotmethere.jpg

**Fuck You Lucifer:** Okay so was there a point to this?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** No I just wanted everyone to know that he does love me

**Fuck off:** Again

**Fuck off:** Why are you making such a big deal out of this

**Naomi:** Because you hate everyone

**Alfie:** Because you hate everyone

**Fuck You Lucifer:** Because you hate everyone

**Hannah:** Because you hate everyone

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Because you hate everyone

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Because you hate everyone

**Wait until I get out of here:** Because you hate everyone

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Because you hate everyone

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Because you hate everyone

**Fuck off:** OKAY I GET IT

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** He did always have a soft spot for Gabriel

**_We’re Here For The Cult Stuff_ ** _ has taken a screenshot of the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**_We’re Here For The Cult Stuff_ ** _ has taken a screenshot of the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**#FUCKMETATRONGANG**

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** So I think we’ve traumatised Lucifer

**Impala67:** How??????

**_We’re Here For The Cult Stuff_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**_We’re Here For The Cult Stuff_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_#FUCKMETATRONGANG_ **

**Impala67:** Damb

**A Single Man Tear:** Oh no you’re doing it too

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has added  _ **_Is Will Smith Dead?, We’re Here For The Cult Stuff, We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ and 6 others to the chat:  _ **_Vibe Check_ **

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** We need to vibe check everyone

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Agreed

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Fuck yes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Short chapter because I had no idea where else to go with this so…


	18. Chapter 17 - Is Will Smith Dead?: Giving people the Mark of Cain is not a vibe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ has changed the group chat name to  _ **_House of Vibe_ **

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **Fuck off**

**Fuck off:** What

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** You have been summoned to the house of vibe for your vibe check

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** State your name

**Fuck off:** Lucifer?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** And is it true, Lucifer, that you murdered a heap of pagan gods in a hotel?

**Fuck off:** Yeah?

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Murdering pagans is not a vibe

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** NOT A VIBE

**All Hail The Watcher:** And is it true that you disintegrated Castiel?

**Fuck off:** Yes

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Disintegrating angels is not a vibe

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** NOT A VIBE

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Lucifer

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** You have brought hateration and holleration into the dancerly and thus have FAILED the vibe check!

**Fuck off:** Aight

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Why do I put up with this shit?**

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Fuck

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** You have been summoned to the house of vibe for your vibe check

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** State your name

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Raphael

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** And is it true, Raphael, that you killed Castiel after Lucifer was freed

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Yeah

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Murdering angels is not a vibe

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** NOT A VIBE

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** And is it true that you started a war in Heaven

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Yes

**All Hail The Watcher:** Starting wars is never a vibe

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** NEVER A VIBE

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Raphael

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** You have brought hateration and holleration into the dancerly and thus have FAILED the vibe check!

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** @ **Wait until I get out of here**

**Wait until I get out of here:** uuuuuuuuuuuuuugggggggggggggghhhhhhh

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** You have been summoned to the house of vibe for your vibe check

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** State your name

**Wait until I get out of here:** Michael

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** And is it true, Michael, that you brought back Adam just so that you could possess him?

**Wait until I get out of here:** Yes

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Using and possessing people is not a vibe

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** NOT A VIBE

**Wait until I get out of here:** This is bullshit

**Wait until I get out of here:** I needed him so that I could fight Lucifer

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** 🤮🤮🤮🤮

**All Hail The Watcher:** HE’S SO IGNORANT

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** HE DOESN’T CARE ABOUT ANYONE BUT HIMSELF

**Wait until I get out of here:** I just rolled my eyes so hard I saw my brain

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Michael

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** You have brought hateration and holleration into the dancerly and thus have FAILED the vibe check!

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** @ **King of Hell**

**King of Hell:** I’m not here

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** You have been summoned to the house of vibe for your vibe check

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** State your name

**King of Hell:** *sighs* Crowley

**All Hail The Watcher:** And tell me, Crowley, did you or did you not turn Dean into a demon

**King of Hell:** Yes

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Turning humans into demons is not a vibe

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** NOT A VIBE

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** And didn’t you trick Dean into getting the Mark of Cain

**King of Hell:** No?

**Impala67:** Actually that was Cain

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** STILL

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** NOT A VIBE

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** And didn’t you trick Castiel into going after Purgatory with you?

**King of Hell:** Yeah?

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Tricking people is not a vibe

**All Hail The Watcher:** NOT A VIBE

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** And didn’t you kidnap Kevin and his mum

**King of Hell:** Yes

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Kidnapping people is not a vibe

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** NOT A VIBE

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Crowley

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** You have brought hateration and holleration into the dancerly and thus have FAILED the vibe check!

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** @ **I’m the Motherfucking Queen**

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** No

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Yes

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** You have been summoned to the house of vibe for your vibe check

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** State your name

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** They’re not going to give this up are they?

**Fuck off:** Nope

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Abaddon

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Now is it true that you killed everyone in the Men of Letters in the 50s?

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Yes

**All Hail The Watcher:** Killing the Men of Letters is not a vibe

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** NOT A VIBE

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Fuck I just came online

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Is it true that you tried to take over Hell?

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Yeah

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Taking over Hell is never a vibe

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** NEVER A VIBE

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Abaddon

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** You have brought hateration and holleration into the dancerly and thus have FAILED the vibe check!

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Imma add two more and then I’ll kick them again give me a sec

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Imma also add someone

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_ ** _ has added  _ **_Yellow Eyes_ ** _ and  _ **_Cain_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_House of Vibe_ **

**I’m Awesome:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has added  _ **_The best writer_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_House of Vibe_ **

**Cain:** What the fuck

**Cain:** What the fuck is this?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** You have been summoned to the house of vibe for your vibe check

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** State your name

**Cain:** <

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** That’ll do cause it’s obvious

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Is it true that you killed your brother, thus becoming a demon and killing God knows how many people

**Cain:** Yes

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Killing people and becoming a demon is not a vibe

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** NOT A VIBE

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** @ **Impala67** you too

**Impala67:** Really?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Yes

**Impala67:** I am being attacked by my own boyfriend

**A Single Man Tear:** Dude you have no fucking room to talk

**Impala67:** Yeah but you’re different

**Impala67:** That’s what I’m supposed to do

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** *facepalm*

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** BACK TO CAIN

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Is it true that you gave Dean the Mark of Cain?

**Cain:** Yes

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** HE HAS NO SHAME

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** 🤮🤮🤮🤮

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Giving people the Mark of Cain is not a vibe

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** NOT A VIBE

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Cain

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** You have brought hateration and holleration into the dancerly and thus have FAILED the vibe check!

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_ ** _ has kicked  _ **_Cain_ ** _ from the chat:  _ **_House of Vibe_ **

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** And @ **Yellow Eyes** don’t think I forgot about you bitch

**Yellow Eyes:** Fuck

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** You have been summoned to the house of vibe for your vibe check

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** State your name

**Yellow Eyes:** Azazel

**A Single Man Tear:** Ah the bitch

**Yellow Eyes:** Fuck off

**Fuck off:** They never listen

**Yellow Eyes:** I’m not surprised

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Is it true that you killed Mary, John and Jessica?

**Yellow Eyes:** Yes but it was because I had to

**All Hail The Watcher:** 🤮🤮🤮🤮

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Killing people is not a vibe

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** NOT A VIBE

**Impala67:** To be fair mum and dad made deals so they kinda had to die

**Impala67:** But Jess, no fuck you she deserved better

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Did you also order for The Roadhouse to be burned down, thus killing Ash?

**Yellow Eyes:** Yes

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Burning down buildings is not a vibe

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** NOT A VIBE

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** And didn’t you also make a bunch of people with powers kill each other and then open a gate to Hell?

**Yellow Eyes:** Yes

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Opening a gate of Hell is not a vibe

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** NOT A VIBE

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Azazel

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** You have brought hateration and holleration into the dancerly and thus have FAILED the vibe check!

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_ ** _ has kicked  _ **_Azazel_ ** _ from the chat:  _ **_House of Vibe_ **

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** And BITCH I didn’t forget you

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **The best writer**

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** You have been summoned to the house of vibe for your vibe check

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** State your name

**The best writer:** Metatron

**Impala67:** bitch

**A Single Man Tear:** Bitch

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Bitch

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** Bitch

**Fuck off:** BITCH

**Wait until I get out of here:** bitch

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** bITCH

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Bitch

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** BiTCH

**The Responsible One:** Bitch

**The Other Responsible One:** Bitch

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** b i t c h

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** B I T C H

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** BITCH

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** BITCH

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** BITCH

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** B I T C H

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** B I T C H

**All Hail The Watcher:** bitch

**I Am Your Father:** Bitch

**The best writer:** WTF

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Is it true that you tricked Castiel and made the angels fall

**The best writer:** Yes

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Making the angels fall is not a vibe

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** NOT A VIBE

**Fuck off:** NOT A VIBE

**Wait until I get out of here:** NOT A VIBE

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** NOT A VIBE

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** NOT A VIBE

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** NOT A VIBE

**All Hail The Watcher:** NOT A VIBE

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Holy shit

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** EXTREME VIBE CHECK

**The best writer:** Oh fuck you guys

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Metatron

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** You have brought hateration and holleration into the dancerly and thus have FAILED the vibe check!

**_The best writer_ ** _ has left the chat:  _ **_House of Vibe_ **

**Impala67:** Thank god he left I was real close to virtually decking him

**A Single Man Tear:** We all were

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: If you don’t know what I’m referencing this is it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqQ-AejAoTI


	19. Chapter 18 - I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002): HEY DANDY DICK! YOU MISSED WOWOWOWOWOWOOWOW

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

**Vibe Check**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** So has anyone seen Hellsing Ultimate and the abridged series?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** YES

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** ??

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** It’s a really cool anime and the abridged is a parody of it

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I see

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Dudes it’s 2am

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** HOLY SHIT WE SHOULD ASSIGN EVERYONE A HELLSING ULTIMATE ABRIDGED QUOTE

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Yes

**Two Hours Later**

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ and  _ **_I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002)_ **

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** FUCK IT SHOULD NOT BE THIS HARD

**House of Vibe 6 Hours Later**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** OKAY so this took WAY to fucking long to do but it is finally here!

**A Single Man Tear:** Whenever I see any of you guys message this chat I get so anxious

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Who?

**A Single Man Tear:** You, Gabriel, Kevin, Claire, Alex, Meg, Anna or Balthazar

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Ah so the kids and our cult excluding Cas

**A Single Man Tear:** Pretty much

**Impala67:** Do you even do anything with this cult

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** We have Zoom calls every second night at 3am

**Impala67:** W H A T T H E F U C K

**All Hail The Watcher:** It do be like that sometimes

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** It’s really fun

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Anyway what’s here

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Charlie and I assigned everyone a Hellsing Ultimate Abridged quote

**A Single Man Tear:** What’s that?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** It’s a parody of a really cool anime (A/N: Everyone go watch the show even if it’s just the abridged)

**Impala67:** So this is the same as the vines?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Yeah pretty much

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** OKAY LET’S START

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** @ **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011)**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Excuse _me_ , but I'm a fuck-mothering vampire! I killed a _lot_ of people to get this title; I deserve to be called such!

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** HAHAHAHA

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004)**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Get that bitch a cannon! BITCHES LOVE CANNONS

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Hahaha that we do

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** @ **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** "Dear Chief Replacement: I wanted to send you this friendly little letter to inform you of your imminent demise. If you're curious about the frequency of which I've sent these letters, it is merely to instill as much fear as I can. As if basting a turkey. Which I will then proceed to have sex with. THAT'S RIGHT. I'M GOING TO _FUCK_ THE FEAR TURKEY. Follow me on Twitter @thecrimsonfuckr. Sincerely, Balthazar."

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff** **:** Okay???????????????????????????????

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **I’m the Motherfucking Queen**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Some of you have come to believe that I like war. I wish to dash these rumors. I do not like war. I LOVE war. Throughout my life, I have discovered so many forms of war. You get up in the morning, you get into your shitty car, and you see a rich CEO who works half as hard as you do drive down the street in his Porsche. Class war. You make it to work, and you find out that the annual drug test is today. And you just so happened to take a puff of your one-hitter a couple nights ago before dinner with your wife's awful parents. Drug war. But then, you find out that the only ones being called in for testing are your black and Hispanic co-workers. Race war. Then, you try to post about it on your Facebook, but then all your friends start arguing about what's right und what's wrong. Flame war. You finally get home, and you decide to relax by watching a program about: "Who gets the box?" "What's in the box?" "How much is what's in the box worth?" Storage Wars.

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Um okay

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** @ **It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000)**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** There! I took the _fucking_ shot! She's dead! There's blood everywhere!

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Holy shit I’ve seen that somewhere hahahaha

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **Why do I put up with this shit?**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Sorry about that whole 'shooting you' thing. But, I know if you look deep into your heart...which is currently all over that tree... you’ll find a way to forgive me

**Why do I put up with this shit?** **:** I’m not mad at it

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** This isn’t really for anyone but I just really like this line

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** So what can I do for ya, Father O'Malley O'Connell O'Carroll O'Reilly O'Brien O'Sullivan... who is also Italian?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **The Other Responsible One** @ **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004)** / @ **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011)**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Jody: Sweet Christ... just get to Ireland, kill the vampire who's taken over the hospital, and bring the Police Girl with you.

Claire/Alex: Aw, come on! I have to bring her  _ everywhere! _

Jody: Ah, ah, ah! None of the sass.

Claire/Alex: Yes,  _ mom! _

**The Other Responsible One:** Hahaha

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** @ **I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess** @ **Impala67** @ **A Single Man Tear**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Bobby: First off, property damage...

_ (cut to a large explosion in the middle of a street) _

Dean/Sam: Good times.

Bobby: Dozens of noise complaints...

_ (loud music blaring from a speaker next to Dean/Sam) _

Dean/Sam: Sorry, I can't hear you.

Bobby: Killing at least a dozen innocent people...

Dean/Sam: Oh,  [ so did Anthony Hopkins ](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Film/TheSilenceOfTheLambs) , and he got a fucking Oscar for it!

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** As much as I hate this chat that’s funny

**Impala67:** Fuck you guys

**A Single Man Tear:** nonohe’sgotapoint.jpg

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** I love that we still understand the meme even if we don’t see it

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** YOUR TURN

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** _(TV suddenly explodes as *person* enters.)_

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Make it Asmodeus

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** K

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Gabriel: That was a 70-inch...plasma screen TV. _(_[ _inhales deeply_](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TranquilFury) _)_ So...how can I help you?

Asmodeus: You must be the great Gabriel...

Gabriel: 'Sup.

Asmodeus:  [ I've heard quite a lot about you. ](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheDreaded)

Gabriel:  _ Oh, really? _

Asmodeus: The nightwalker...who glides through oceans of blood... beyond human, a monster whose power radiates with a darkness that casts a shadow on darkness itself—

Gabriel: Oh, you dirty bitch! Work the shaft!

Asmodeus: ...Excuse you?

Gabriel: Oh, I'm sorry, I like the dirty talk when someone's  [ _ sucking my dick _ ](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BaddieFlattery) _. _

Asmodeus: Perhaps I should just skip to my point. My name is Asmodeus.

Gabriel: And I'm  [ Carmen Sandiego ](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Franchise/CarmenSandiego) .  _ Guess where I am. _

Asmodeus: I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you here.

Gabriel: Oh, so am I, and I'm failing, and I'm sorry for that. It's just that I'm so agitated, because this blond little shit just strolled into my room, destroyed my  _ 70-inch plasma TV _ , and  [ is trying to impress me ](https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/BigBadWannabe) like I'm his alcoholic father.

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** ASDFGHJKL;’

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** THAT’S FUCKING FUNNY

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I also just think this is really funny

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Luke: I _really_ don't like discussing my ex-girlfriend with you.

Jan: I mean, I still  _ finished, _ but what kind of shit is that?

Luke: For God's sake, Jan, think of mother!

Jan: ...I ain't jerking off right now…

**All Hail The Watcher:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** @ **I’m Awesome**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** _(phasing through the wall)_ HEY KIDS WANNA SEE A DEAD BODY!?!

**I’m Awesome:** Okay?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **Fuck the Grand Coven** about to see and manipulate her son

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** That filthy, _slimy_ , _arrogant_ , _ITALIAN PIECE OF SH_ — _(Switches to museum)_ Crowley! Oh, it's been _far_ too long.

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** I mean yeah

**King of Hell:** Fuck you

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Me

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Sir Integra, forgive me, I  _ tried _ to stop him. But when I pleaded with him, he merely responded with—and pardon my French, "Fuck the police." He then proceeded to tilt every painting he passed on the way here.

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Me

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** YOU KNOW, THEY SAY TV MAKES YOU VIOLENT. BUT I'D SAY NOT HAVING MY TV IS MAKING ME  _ PRETTY FUCKING VIOLENT! _

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** @ **HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Okay, see, I'm gonna have to stop you  _ riiiiight _ there. You see, I am under strict orders from my boss — who is a total bitch, by the way,  _ (AHEM) _ — that I am not to leave this room until such time as the committee has left the building. I was even  _ bribed _ . Imagine that.

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Hahahaha YES

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **Fuck off**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** The funny thing is, in any other circumstance, you might have had a point there. Except my boss is a woman, I was a chick in the '40s, _I hate everyone equally_ , and there's _NO ONE ALIVE_ who could comprehend my sexual preference. So in other words, Ms. Van Winkle, _chuh-chuh-chuh-CHECK YOUR PRIVILEGE!_ _(punches someone in the face)_

**Fuck off:** Aight

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** @ **King of Hell**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** YOU WERE TALKING ALL THAT GOOD SHIT A SECOND AGO, THEN I BLEW YOUR FUCKING LEGS OFF! WHAT'S WRONG, DEMIGOD? JUST GROW BACK YOUR LEGS. SUMMON UP YOUR DEMONS! HIT ME! FIGHT ME!  _ GIVE ME A HUG! _

**King of Hell:** I-

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **The Responsible One** and any of the boys

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Ellen  _ (seething with rage and barely stopping with each period) _ : On the phone. Get him on the phone. I want him on the phone RIGHT NOW!!

Boys:  _ (among all the bodies as Elton John's "The Bitch is Back" plays) _ Hold on a minute; I gotta take this.  _ (cuts the music and picks up the phone) _ M'yello~?

Ellen: What. Did you do?

Boys: ...Alright. But you can't be mad at me.

Ellen: WHAT. DID YOU DO?

Boys: Okay,  _ first _ ... I was minding my own business—

Ellen:  _ (slams her hand into the table) _ BULLSHIT!

Boys: ( _ whiny tone of voice _ ) I waaaaas!

Ellen: And exactly  _ what _ happened whilst you were "minding your own business"?!

Boys: So, I was just chillaxing in my room like a baller... and then all of a sudden these schmucks kicked in my door!

_ (flashback to demons pour into the room and take aim at the boys) _

Boys: One of them yelled out—

Flashback demon: Get on your knees!

Boys: And I responded with—

Flashback boys: I'm not your mother last night!

Boys: ...and they took exception to that.

_ (Demons start screaming like maniacs as they open full auto on the boys, reducing him to the consistency of mincemeat pie) _

Boys: But you know how THAT song-and-dance goes...

_ (as the demon try to leave, the boys reconstitute and starts devouring them) _

Boys: ...and I killed all but one of them.

Ellen: What happened to the last one?

_ (the last demon whimpers as he shakily raises his sidearm to his head; the boys grins evilly while the gun goes off) _

Boys: Pussed out  _ like a bitch! _ Silver lining?  _ (shot of bloody corpses) _ I can cancel my room service!

**The Responsible One:** Honestly I wouldn’t put it past them

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** @ **Impala67**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Dean: Hey guys, how's your health plan? _(Demons have a Freak Out, and open fire)_ _Apparently, it's GREAT!! (carnage and gore ensue as the demons finally retreat into the elevator... with Dean following after them)_

**Impala67:** Yeah

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** @ **All Hail The Watcher**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** You cheeky dick-waffle!

**All Hail The Watcher:** Hahaha

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** We also gave you a second one cause they are so short

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** HEY DANDY DICK! YOU MISSED WOWOWOWOWOWOOWOW

**All Hail The Watcher:** Haha

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Anyone and @ **Wait until I get out of here**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Anyone: JESUS  _ FUCKING  _ CHRIST I'VE MISSED YOU!

Michael: HEY!

Anyone: Oh, shut up.

**Wait until I get out of here:** *sigh*

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Everyone before the apocalypse

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Angels: Yes, my fellow Christians, we've come to save you —

Citizen: Hooray, it's the Catholic Church!

Angels:  _ (sneering) _ — FROM  _ YOURSELVES! _

The Same Citizen:  _ (resigned) _ Oh no, it's the Catholic Church.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** @ **We saw the ad on craigslist**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Cas: Ve don't have to follow orders when our leader's acting like a daft cunt!

Heaven: ...that's the only time you get to call me  _ any _ kind of cunt.

Dean: He is sassy  _ as fuck! _ Holy shit, I like him!

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Pretty much

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** If we missed anyone it’s because we literally had no fucking clue

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** It was actually really fucking hard

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** How did you guys do it with the vines

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** There are a lot more vines than funny Hellsing quotes

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Fair fair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I actually made a video for all the quotes in case people don’t know them so here’s the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZEooWWIQqM&feature=youtu.be   
> Also guys comments mean a lot to me and they make my day so thank you to all of you who’ve commented. <3


	20. Chapter 19 - Is Will Smith Dead? has added Way Down In New Orleans to the chat: House of Vibe

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BTW: Balthazar, Charlie and Kevin live in the bunker with Sam, Dean and Cas and Gabriel is sort of just there randomly. He just appears in everyone’s houses at random times. I also made Kevin, Alex and Claire in school because why not? I’m also going to put the time at the start of each conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel

**House of Vibe [15:30]**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** So just to update anyone, Sam, Dean and Cas have been making me go to bed by like 10/11pm every night because “I need my sleep” or something like that

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** How dare they care about your wellbeing

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I KNOW RIGHT

**Impala67:** DUDE you need your sleep

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** YOU’RE NOT MY DAD FUCKING UGLY ASS NOODLE HEAD

**Impala67:** What the fuck did I just read

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** A vine

**Impala67:** Right

**House of Vibe [20:59]**

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** So what song does everyone have stuck in their head?

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Sweater Weather

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** That’s gay

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** unoreversecard.jpg

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** yougotmethere.jpg

**A Single Man Tear:** What even is this chat anymore

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Chaos

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Speaking of chaos I have Welcome to Chaos by Son of Rust in my head rn

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** B O P

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** I have Mary by The Death Riders in my head

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Fallen Angels by Black Veil Brides

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Okay emo

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Okay emo

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Fuck off

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Honestly Photo by YONAS

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I did not expect that from you tbh

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I’ve been watching lots of edit compilations and stuff

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** noice.jpg

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I have Hypnodancer by Little Big

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Very nice

**All Hail The Watcher:** Sour Candy by Lady Gaga and Blackpink

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Lang Lebe Der Tod by Casper

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Ooooooooooo

**Impala67:** Back in Black by AC/DC

**Impala67:** For some reason

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Probably because you listen to it all the time

**Impala67:** It’s a good song

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Tru

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I have Doubt by Twenty One Pilots stuck in my head since Kevin showed me it

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** OOF

**A Single Man Tear:** I have no idea why but as soon as you sent that question Supermassive Black Hole by Muse started playing in my head

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Yeah cause it’s a bop

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** I have Wait For Me from Hadestown in my head

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** BOP

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Straight facts

**House of Vibe [02:00]**

**A Single Man Tear:** HOLY SHIT GABRIEL JUST APPEARED AND ASKED CHARLIE WHAT THE TIME WAS AND SHE JUST PULLS A FUCKING AIR HORN OUT OF NOWHERE AND FUCKING BLASTS IT AND DEAN JUST YELLED OUT “WHO THE FUCK IS PLAYING A FUCKING TRUMPET AT 2AM?!?!”

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** it’s not even a trumpet

**A Single Man Tear:** I KNOW

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Wait how do you know what happened?

**A Single Man Tear:** Because Charlie and I were watching a Vanoss Gaming video and then Gabriel just appeared in front of us

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Oh my god

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** CAS JUST CAME DOWN STAIRS AND HE LOOKS LIKE A DISGRUNTLED CAT OH MY GOD HE LOOKS SO CUTE WHEN HE’S GRUMPY WHY DID NOBODY TELL ME THIS?!?!

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** HE JUST TOLD CHARLIE TO FUCK OFF AND WENT BACK TO DEAN’S ROOM I CAN’T THIS IS TOO GOLDEN

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** YO FOR PEOPLE WANTING ME TO SLEEP YOU GOT A BAD WAY OF FUCKING SHOWING IT

**House of Vibe [10:00]**

**Impala67:** Fuck you Charlie

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** No idea what you mean

**Impala67:** You know exactly what I mean

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** I will do anything for content

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Guys you have no idea

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** One minute he was just sleeping and then the next he fucking bolts up walks to the door, opens and fucking yells

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** HOLY SHIT

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Then he goes right back to sleep like nothing happens and that’s when I went out

**A Single Man Tear:** WOW

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** That is honestly impressive

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Although, I woke up, typed some random shit and went straight back to sleep with my phone on my face so… 

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Okay FIRST OF ALL it’s not even a fucking trumpet Dean! SECOND OF ALL that was great content thank you Charlie AND THIRD OF ALL that is a fucking mood Kevin

**House of Vibe [14:15]**

**Impala67:** Charlie there’s a guy I want to add but I can’t cause I’m not an admin can you add him?

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Send me his contact

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ has added  _ **_Way Down In New Orleans_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_House of Vibe_ **

**Way Down In New Orleans:** What is this?

**Impala67:** A group chat

**Way Down In New Orleans:** Dean?

**Impala67:** Sup

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Who the fuck are you?

**Way Down In New Orleans:** Who the fuck are you?

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** I asked you first

**Way Down In New Orleans:** I asked you second

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** I think we’re going to get along great

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Hi I’m Meg I’m a demon

**Way Down In New Orleans:** Benny, I’m a vampire

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Aight imma send you a list of everyone’s username and who they actually are for reference

**Way Down In New Orleans:** K

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_House of Vibe_ **

**Way Down In New Orleans:** Thanks cher

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** This is the guy that got you and us out of purgatory right?

**Impala67:** Yeah

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** Okay just making sure

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** OH THAT BENNY

**Way Down In New Orleans:** Hey Castiel

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Sup

**Way Down In New Orleans:** I see you guys finally got your heads out of your asses

**Impala67:** Shut the fuck up

**Way Down In New Orleans:** Cas he wouldn't shut up about you until we found you

**Impala67:** Shut the fuck up

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Yay someone else to embarrass Dean

**Impala67:** Fuck you I will still deep fry you

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Okay *Jake Peralta voice*

_ Private Message Between  _ **_A Single Man Tear_ ** _ and  _ **_Impala67_ **

**A Single Man Tear:** Do you think Gabriel hates me?

**Impala67:** No

**Impala67:** ????????????

**Impala67:** Why?

**A Single Man Tear:** Idk

**A Single Man Tear:** He just keeps sort of giving me the cold shoulder or just ignoring me whenever I try to talk to him

**Impala67:** Maybe he just doesn’t hear you or he’s distracted?

**A Single Man Tear:** Yeah but I asked Cas and he said that Gabriel doesn’t really have much to do with Heaven anymore

**Impala67:** Norse gods?

**A Single Man Tear:** Yeah but most of them think he’s dead

**Impala67:** I don’t know man

**Impala67:** You should ask him

**A Single Man Tear:** I tried to ask him what was going on but he just said ‘I’m fine’ really bluntly and walked off

**Impala67:** Try messaging him

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I CAN’T BELIEVE I DIDN’T ADD BENNY UNTIL NOW WHAT THE FUCK BRAIN HOW THE FUCK DID YOU FORGET BENNY?! All of the songs listed are songs I recommend and listen to often. Also I was thinking about making a Supernatural Twitter AU on Instagram. If I made one would you guys look at it? It’d be a Destiel/Sabriel high school AU but there’d be more characters in it that aren’t in this one or who hardly appear.


	21. Chapter 20 - We saw the ad on craigslist: Please don’t

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> Has Anyone Checked The News? - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> Is Will Smith Dead? - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Way Down In New Orleans - Benny

**House of Vibe [16:30]**

**Way Down In New Orleans:** Why are there so many Buzzfeed Unsolved quotes as names here?

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Because Charlie and I started a cult would you like to join?

**Way Down In New Orleans:** Yes

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** Okay just change your name to a Buzzfeed Unsolved quote we have Zoom calls at 3am every second week I will send you the date of our next call and the Zoom link in a private chat

**Way Down In New Orleans:** Sweet

**_Way Down In New Orleans_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_Razor Boy_ **

**All Hail The Watcher:** Fuck yes

**Impala67:** Not you too

**Razor Boy:** Sorry Dean

**Has Anyone Checked The News?:** @ **Is Will Smith Dead?** we should change our names again

**Is Will Smith Dead?:** Aight you change it

**_Has Anyone Checked The News?_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**_Is Will Smith Dead?_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_You Didn’t Connect Shit_ **

**HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY:** Can I change with you guys?

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Yeah

**_HOW DARE YOU DISPOSE OF MY BODY_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_I’ve Connected Them_ **

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** WooOOoo

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Yaaaaaaaaaas

**I’ve Connected Them:** I love this

**House of Vibe [20:01]**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** @ **Impala67** @ **A Single Man Tear** do y’all have any embarrassing stories about the other from when you were younger?

**Impala67:** Do I? Of course I do

**I’ve Connected Them:** Ooooo TEA

**A Single Man Tear:** Shut the whore your mouth

**Impala67:** ??????

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Okay but Dean looks so offended

**Impala67:** What are you willing to trade for me to give you the tea?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Stories about baby Cas

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Wot

**Impala67:** Deal

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Wait no Dean

**Impala67:** Okay so there was this one time when he was like 12 and he had to get up in front of the class for a presentation or whatever but he brought his backpack up with him

**A Single Man Tear:** NO

**A Single Man Tear:** ANYTHING BUT THIS STORY

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** I can see where this is going

**A Single Man Tear:** What

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** The boys do it all the time at school

**Impala67:** I’M TELLING A STORY HERE

**Impala67:** So obviously the teacher who was a chick thought it was weird and she told him to put his backpack down or something and he puts it down for a second and then bolts out of the fucking classroom

**A Single Man Tear:** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**Impala67:** He comes back to class and he still has to do his fucking presentation

**A Single Man Tear:** I just wanted to vanish in a puff of smoke at that point

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Dude just own it

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Every guy has to experience that at some point

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Wait cosmic being who doesn’t understand human things here

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** What’s going on?

**Impala67:** SAM GOT A BONER IN THE MIDDLE OF CLASS AND FUCKING RAN OUT OF CLASS

**A Single Man Tear:** DEAN I’M GONNA FUCKING KILL YOU

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Aaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh I see

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Dude this happened to like almost every guy in my class

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** The human body is so strange

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** That it is

**A Single Man Tear:** Honestly though we lucked out

**A Single Man Tear:** I’m glad I only had to deal with that

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Yeah

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** You fucking did

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Try being a girl in high school

**Impala67:** Yeah I’m glad I’m a dude in that respect

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Huh?

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** GOOGLE IT WE ARE NOT EXPLAINING IT HERE

**I’ve Connected Them:** SAM GET YOUR REVENGE

**A Single Man Tear:** I deadass can’t think of anything

**A Single Man Tear:** Dean got caught making out with some chick in a school supply closet but that’s about it

**A Single Man Tear:** He got caught by dad when he brought a chick to the motel once

**Impala67:** Yeah I also got caught making out with a dude in a school supply closet

**Impala67:** Never brought a guy home though cause I wasn’t about to risk my ass getting caught by dad

**Impala67:** Alright Gabriel am I getting paid or nah?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** RIGHT

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** fUCK I hoped you forgot

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Nope!

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** So there are a few really cute things he did as a fledgeling

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** He’d cling to my legs as I walked. He would flap his wings and would say that he was flying

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** That is the cutest thing I’ve ever read

**Impala67:** Cas is like bright red over here

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Don’t worry Cas it was very endearing

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** WHY ME

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’VE GOT MORE

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** He’d also try to fly across rooms and stuff but he’d not get very far

**Impala67:** What happened

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** He’d jump up, flap his wings, get about a meter or two and then fall flat on his face

**I’ve Connected Them:** D’aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwww

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhh

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Again

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** It was very cute

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I hate you Gabriel

**Impala67:** It’s very cute Cas

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I’m not cute

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I’m a cosmic entity

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Dude you may be badass but you’re also adorable and I would kill for you

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Please don’t

**Impala67:** I’d die for you

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Again please don’t

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** This is so sweet it’s sickening

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** But still y’all are so cute

**Impala67:** Shut up

**I’ve Connected Them:** TO ALL THE ANGELS

**I’ve Connected Them:** Any other cute baby angel stories?

**All Hail The Watcher:** Balthazar was very attached to Gabriel

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** All fledglings just loved him for some reason

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Yeah they did and it was adorable

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’d tell them stories at a certain time and whenever it was getting close to that time they’d all rush to find me

**A Single Man Tear:** That’s cute

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** That’s so precious

**A Single Man Tear:** I can just see you surrounded by a bunch of baby angels wanting stories

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Basically

_ Private Message Between  _ **_A Single Man Tear_ ** _ and  _ **_Impala67_ **

**Impala67:** Dude you are so smitten with Gabriel

**A Single Man Tear:** I have no idea what you’re talking about

**Impala67:** Seriously?

**Impala67:** Every time you look at him you get this look in your eye

**A Single Man Tear:** What look?

**Impala67:** Depends on the context

**Impala67:** It’s either ‘I love you so much and I adore you’ or ‘I’m going to slam you against a wall and kiss you’

**A Single Man Tear:** AAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaA

**A Single Man Tear:** DUDE

**Impala67:** Am I wrong?

**A Single Man Tear:** *sigh* no

**Impala67:** Exactly

**Impala67:** Also why else would you message me asking if I thought he hated you?

**A Single Man Tear:** He does hate me though

**Impala67:** Dude he does not hate you

**Impala67:** Why the fuck would he talk to you if he hated you?

**A Single Man Tear:** Just leave it be

**A Single Man Tear:** This isn’t going to go down like you and Cas

**Impala67:** You don’t know that

**A Single Man Tear:** Yeah I do

**Impala67:** You think I thought that confessing my feelings to Cas was going to go well?

**Impala67:** I’ve been in love with him for ten years but I was too scared to say anything because I thought he was going to leave

**Impala67:** I’ve been thinking for years that if I even showed a slight interest in guys that you’d all leave me

**Impala67:** I get it

**Impala67:** It’s not easy confessing to someone but you will never know until you try Sammy

**A Single Man Tear:** Dean I don’t want to lose him

**A Single Man Tear:** I’m scared that’ll he’ll run away again and forever hate me if I tell him

**Impala67:** I know Sammy

**Impala67:** Tell you what

**Impala67:** Cas and I will talk to Gabriel and see what happens okay?

**A Single Man Tear:** Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: My Supernatural Twitter AU is up! @spnbuttheyreinhighschool it won’t be as active as my story as I’m in my final year of high school but I’ll try to post on it as much as possible. I also have a YouTube channel for my stories called: ClaireOhYutaYong. It’s where I’ll post things relating to my stories such as trailers.


	22. Chapter 21 - I’ve Connected The Two Dots: impossible.jpg

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> A Single Man Tear - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny

**[21:15]**

**_Impala67_ ** _ has added  _ **_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_ISTG Gabriel_ **

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** What I do this time?

**Impala67:** It’s more what you haven’t done yet

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Huh?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Talked to Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I talk to him all the time

**Impala67:** Oh my god I’m going to kill you and Sam I swear to god

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Please don’t kill your brother I like him

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** How much?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Wot?

**Impala67:** How do you feel about Sam?

**Impala67:** I’m not gonna get mad or try to kill you or anything I just want to know

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I mean I think he’s funny and badass and smart and brave and strong and caring and he’s fucking gorgeous

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Wait what

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has deleted one message from the chat:  _ **_ISTG Gabriel_ **

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** You saw nothing

**Impala67:** Oh I saw everything I needed to say that, that was gay panic

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sue me

**Impala67:** Oh no I’m all for it cause you guys are almost as bad as we were

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I have to agree with Dean here

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’ve accepted that he doesn’t like me cause of all the shit I pulled so what’s the point?

**Impala67:** OH MY GOD

**Impala67:** YOU TWO ARE JUST LIKE CAS AND I

**_Impala67_ ** _ has added  _ **_You Didn’t Connect Shit_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_ISTG Gabriel_ **

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** What’s going on?

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Ah

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** I see

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Dude you are a hot fucking mess when it comes to Sam you need to get your shit together

**Impala67:** Tbh Sam is the same when it comes to Gabriel

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** First of all, thanks for sticking up for me Charlie, second of all the fuck you mean Deano

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** You know for an archangel you’re not very smart

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** It’s Raphael’s job to be smart

**Impala67:** SAM LIKES YOU TOO DUMBASS

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** impossible.jpg

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Really memes at a time like this?

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** He uses memes to hide his emotions

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I DID NOT COME HERE TO BE CALLED OUT LIKE THIS CHARLIE

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** AND I DIDN’T SIGN UP TO BE A MATCHMAKER FOR EMOTIONALLY STUNTED ANGELS AND THE WINCHESTERS BUT WE DON’T ALL GET WHAT WE WANT SO HERE WE ARE

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I'M NOT EMOTIONALLY STUNTED

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** BULLSHIT

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** FUCK YOU

**Impala67:** JUST TALK TO SAM CAUSE RIGHT NOW HE THINKS YOU HATE HIM

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Wait why would he think I hated him?

**Impala67:** *sigh*

**Impala67:** Fucking archangels

**Impala67:** Why me

_ Private Message Between  _ **_A Single Man Tear_ ** _ and  _ **_Impala67_ **

**_Impala67_ ** _ has taken a screenshot _

**A Single Man Tear:** Dean?

**A Single Man Tear:** What are you doing?

**A Single Man Tear:** Dean?!

**ISTG Gabriel**

**_Impala67_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_ISTG Gabriel_ **

**Impala67:** There

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I haven’t been meaning to

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** The Norse gods that are still alive still think I’m Loki so I have been having to do “Loki things”

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** IDK how else to describe that

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** There’s also been some stuff happening in Heaven so my focus has been more on that stuff

**Impala67:** Well right now Sam’s scared you hate him so go and talk to him

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Shit I’m on it

_ Private Message Between  _ **_A Single Man Tear_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** This is your ten second warning before I zap to your room

**A Single Man Tear:** Okay?

**Sam’s Room** (A/N: Still bad at proper writing so I’m sorry)

Sam put his phone down just before the sound of wings flapping filled the room and Gabriel appeared.

“Hey Gabe,” Sam said, curious as to why Gabriel was there.

“Samimreallysorryifyouthoughtihatedyoubutivejustbeenreallybusywithtricksterthingsandheavenstuffandireallydonthateyouinfactiactuallyreallyreallylikeyoubutimbadatfeelingssoidontknowhowtotalkaboutmyfeelingsimsorrypleaseforgivemeandpleasedonthateme.”

“Woah okay you need to slow down a bit,” Sam said, holding his hands up, “Come sit down next to me and try again.”

Gabriel sat down next to Sam on his bed and turned to him.

“Sam, I’m really sorry if you thought I hated you but I’ve just been really busy with trickster things and heaven stuff and I really don’t hate you in fact I actually really really like you but I’m bad at feelings so I don’t know how to talk about my feelings I’m sorry please forgive me and please don’t hate me,” Gabriel said, looking at Sam and holding his hands.

“Uh okay that was a lot,” Sam said, his brain trying to register exactly what was just said.

“You can get back to me on the whole ‘I like you’ thing later if you don’t know, I’ll leave now,” Gabriel said, starting to get up.

“No!” Sam exclaimed, grabbing Gabriel’s hand and pulling him back down before turning more to face him, “I- I really like you too Gabe.”   
“Really?” Gabriel asked, his eyes hopeful.

“Yeah,” Sam replied, his voice breathy, “I love you Gabe.”

Gabriel tensed up at the sound of the ‘L-word’. He was not used to hearing that someone loved him, truly.

“It’s okay, you don’t have to say it back,” Sam said, his hand on Gabriel’s back.

“I do though, love you I mean. Sam Winchester I love you so much. I would give you the world if I could. I would give my life for you Sam Winchester.”

Sam was not expecting to hear such a statement from the trickster.

“God knows how much I love you Gabriel,” Sam said before pulling Gabriel by his shirt into a kiss.

When they pulled away Gabriel moved closer to Sam and leaned against his chest.

“Maybe we are worse than Cas and Dean,” Sam said.

“Nah, no one could be worse than them,” Gabriel replied

Sam laughed and kissed Gabriel’s forehead before wrapping his arms around the smaller man and falling back onto the bed. Gabriel started laughing and rolled out of Sam’s arms and just looked into Sam’s eyes, smiling. A banging was heard on the door.

“You guys have been in there a while! Are you still alive?” Dean’s voice could be heard through the door.

“Yeah we’re okay!” Sam replied at the same time that Gabriel replied with, “Fuck off Dean!”

“Can I tell the chat now or did you want to wait a day or two?” Gabriel asked.

“We can tell them now if you want,” Sam said, getting his phone out and opening the chat.

**House of Vibe [22:00]**

**_A Single Man Tear_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ **

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Really?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** That’s how?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** What?

**I’ve Connected Them:** Wait what?

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Huh?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** How did you want to tell them?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Oh I don’t know maybe just by saying ‘Hey we’re dating!’

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** OH MY GOD

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** YEEEEEEESSSSSSSS

**Razor Boy:** I love the Sam just changes his name and expects us to understand immediately

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I thought that it would work

**Razor Boy:** WE’RE DUMB

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** WE’RE DUMB

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** WE’RE DUMB

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** WE’RE DUMB

**I’ve Connected Them:** WE’RE DUMB

**All Hail The Watcher:** WE’RE DUMB

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** WE’RE DUMB

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** F A C T S S A M E

**The Responsible One:** I’m really happy for you two

**The Other Responsible One:** Congratulations!

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Congrats guys! I’ve been waiting for you two to realise almost as long as Dean and Cas

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** I’m proud of you, ya idjits

**I Am Your Father:** I’m happy for you guys!

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** I’m so happy for y’all right now!

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Thanks guys

**The Pearly White Gates**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** YALL SAM AND I ARE DATING

**Wait until I get out of here:** Tell Sam the same threat to Dean applies to him

**Fuck off:** I’d like to see you try to kill him with Gabriel there

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** He’s not wrong

**Hannah:** That’s so cute guys!

**Naomi:** I’m happy for you both

**Fuck you Lucifer:** FINALLY SAM WOULDN’T STOP THINKING ABOUT YOU

**Alfie:** Yay you guys!

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** THANK YOU MY BROTHERS AND SISTERS

**Alfie:** Aaaaaaaaaaaaand the crackhead is back

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: So I have an editing account on instagram called @deanmon_edits. I’ll be posting Supernatural, Harry Potter, MCU and Kpop editing mainly but I may also post some anime edits.


	23. Chapter 22 - I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002): I’m sorry aren’t you Satan?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Characters:  
> Impala67 - Dean  
> Gabriel’s impulse control - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny

**House of Vibe [16:22]**

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** So apparently whoever wins the Hunger Games they have to host the next one and because we have a new couple apparently another one must be hosted so I’m the host

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Imma put everyone’s name in now

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** WAIT WE SHOULD ADD THE OTHER ANGELS AND THE OTHER DEMONS AND MAKE A DIFFERENT CHAT SO WE HAVE MORE

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** OKAY I’LL MAKE ONE AND Y’ALL ADD THE ANGELS AND DEMONS

**_I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011)_ ** _ has added  _ **_Impala67, Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _ and 22 others to the chat:  _ **_Hunger Games Simulator_ **

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has added  _ **_Hannah, Naomi_ ** _ and 3 others to the chat: _ **_Hunger Games Simulator_ **

**_I’ve Connected Them_ ** _ has added  _ **_Cain_ ** _ and  _ **_Yellow Eyes_ ** _ to the chat: _ **_Hunger Games Simulator_ **

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** ALRIGHT IMMA ADD EVERYONE

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** I need four more people

**All Hail The Watcher:** Alistair, Amara, Mary and John go

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I swear to god if John wins

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** GUYS CATCH THE OTHERS UP ON WHAT THE HUNGER GAMES ARE

**Hunger Games Simulator [16:30]**

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** OKAY IT’S READY

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** YAS I’M READY

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** LET’S FUCK SHIT UP

**I’ve Connected Them:** WOOOOOOOOO

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** THE BLOODBATH

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Alistair, Dean, Ruby, Metatron, Lucifer, Mary, Raphael, Charlie, Samandriel, Gabriel, Michael, Alex and Bobby all run away from the Cornucopia.

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Well we’re a right bunch of cowards aren’t we

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Hannah kills Benny with a hatchet.

**Razor Boy:** Fuck

**Hannah:** Sorry

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Claire snatches a pair of sais. Chuck finds a canteen full of water. Sam retrieves a trident from inside the cornucopia.

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I am now Poseidon

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** John, Kevin, and Ellen work together to get as many supplies as possible.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** That’s an interesting trio we got here

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Jo scares Azazel away from the cornucopia.

**Yellow Eyes:** What

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Fuck you

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Gadreel and Castiel fight for a bag. Gadreel gives up and retreats.

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** That’s what I thought

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Garth shoots a poisonous blow dart into Cain's neck, slowly killing him.

**_Cain_ ** _ has left the chat _

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Oof

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Amara clutches a first aid kit and runs away. Meg takes a spear from inside the cornucopia.

**I’m Awesome:** I DO NOT TRUST HER WITH A SPEAR

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Neither do I

**I’ve Connected Them:** Ah the Hunger Games

**I’ve Connected Them:** The one thing that gets everyone in the chat to talk

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Jody spears Anna in the abdomen.

**All Hail The Watcher:** What the fuck Jody?!

**The Other Responsible One:** I’m sorry

**All Hail The Watcher:** All good

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Balthazar takes a sickle from inside the cornucopia.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Crowley, Naomi, Abaddon, and Rowena share everything they gathered before running.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** A very interesting group

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Day 1

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Samandriel steals from Mary while she isn't looking. Hannah, Ellen, and Kevin hunt for other tributes.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Very interesting indeed

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Dean picks flowers. Meg travels to higher ground. Claire searches for firewood. Michael collects fruit from a tree. Chuck injures himself.

**I Am Your Father:** HOW?!?!?!

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Bobby makes a wooden spear. Gadreel and Azazel split up to search for resources.

**Fuck You Lucifer:** It was to be rid of him

**Yellow Eyes:** Fuck you

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Rowena receives a hatchet from an unknown sponsor.

**Impala67:** WHO GAVE HER A HATCHET

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Alistair overhears Alex and Charlie talking in the distance.

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** What are we talking about?

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Uuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhh

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Lord of the Rings idk

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Sweet

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Sam steals from Crowley while he isn't looking.

**King of Hell:** Really?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Yes

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Amara falls into a frozen lake and drowns. John goes hunting.

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Saving people

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Hunting things

**Alfie:** The family business

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Garth bashes Balthazar's head in with a mace.

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** B R U H

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Sorry

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** No you’re not

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** At least I didn’t die first!

**Razor Boy:** Fuck you

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Abaddon and Metatron hunt for other tributes. Castiel shoots an arrow at Naomi, but misses and kills Raphael instead.

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** *sigh*

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Ruby, Jo, Jody, Gabriel, and Lucifer hunt for other tributes.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** interesting.jpg

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Fallen Tributes

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Benny, Cain, Anna, Amara, Balthazar and Raphael.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Night 1

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Castiel lets Michael into his shelter. Gadreel convinces Bobby to snuggle with him.

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** I’ll pass

**Fuck You Lucifer:** Same

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Claire, Rowena, Alex, and Lucifer sleep in shifts.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** INTERESTING.JPG

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** You’re going to type this every time aren’t you?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Yep

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Gabriel and Jo talk about the tributes still alive. Kevin tends to his wounds. Crowley dies of dysentery.

**King of Hell:** Okay then

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Sam sets up camp for the night. Jody and Dean run into each other and decide to truce for the night. Meg and Naomi fight Metatron and Chuck. Metatron and Chuck survive.

**I’ve Connected Them:** FUCK

**Naomi:** Okay then

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Samandriel sees a fire, but stays hidden. Charlie and Azazel are both awoken by nightmares. Alistair looks at the night sky. Abaddon and Ellen talk about the tributes still alive. Garth sets up camp for the night. Ruby tends to Hannah's wounds. John passes out from exhaustion. Mary starts a fire.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Day 2

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Gabriel dies from an infection.

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Jo receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor. Dean searches for a water source. Castiel discovers a river.

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** DEAN I HAVE WATER

**Impala67:** WHERE ARE YOU?!

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** AT THE RIVER

**Impala67:** WHERE THE FUCK IS THE RIVER

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** WHERE I AM

**Impala67:** THAT’S NOT HELPFUL

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** I love this

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Top tier content

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Abaddon tends to Metatron's wounds. Sam receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor. Gadreel overhears Samandriel and Mary talking in the distance. Alex, Alistair, Bobby, and Michael raid Chuck's camp while he is hunting.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** i n t e r e s t i n g . j p g

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Kevin overhears Hannah and Lucifer talking in the distance.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I find this very interesting

**Fuck off:** Words cannot describe how creepy that is

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I’m sorry aren’t you Satan?

**Fuck off:** Fucking

**Fuck off:** I give up

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Garth overhears Charlie and Rowena talking in the distance. Claire questions her sanity. John accidentally detonates a land mine while trying to arm it.

**Razor Boy:** (WHEEZE)

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Ruby receives clean water from an unknown sponsor. Azazel overhears Ellen and Jody talking in the distance.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Fallen Tributes

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Crowley, Meg, Naomi, Gabriel, John, Benny, Cain, Anna, Amara, Balthazar and Raphael.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Night 2

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Mary quietly hums. Chuck and Samandriel threaten a double suicide. It fails and they die.

**Alfie:** Welp I guess our love wasn’t strong enough

**I Am Your Father:** I guess not

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Garth, Castiel, Michael, and Azazel sleep in shifts.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Very interesting group

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Jo bashes Alistair's head against a rock several times.

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Get fucked bitch

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Dean is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth. Ellen climbs a tree to rest. Alex receives clean water from an unknown sponsor. Metatron looks at the night sky. Claire ambushes Kevin and kills him.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** *sigh*

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** This is what you get for all that interesting shit

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** That’s fair

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Bobby poisons Abaddon's drink. She drinks it and dies.

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Alright

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Ruby is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth. Jody begs for Gadreel to kill her. He refuses, keeping Jody alive. Sam tries to treat his infection. Hannah, Rowena, and Charlie cheerfully sing songs together.

**Hannah:** Aww

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** I do not sing

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Lucifer thinks about home.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Day 3

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Mary hunts for other tributes. Charlie, Garth, and Hannah hunt for other tributes.

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I N T E R E S T I N G . J P G

**_I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011)_ ** _ has muted  _ **_I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002)_ **

**House of Vibe**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Fuck you

**Hunger Games Simulator**

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Rowena steals from Michael while he isn't looking. Metatron goes hunting. Dean practices his archery. Ruby goes hunting. Jo, Castiel, and Ellen hunt for other tributes.

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** KEVIN JUST YELLED ‘INTERESTING’ FROM HIS FUCKING ROOM

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Bobby receives an explosive from an unknown sponsor. Azazel runs away from Jody. Alex receives clean water from an unknown sponsor. Sam and Claire work together for the day. Lucifer and Gadreel hunt for other tributes.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Fallen Tributes

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Chuck, Samandriel, Alistair, Kevin, Abaddon, Crowley, Meg, Naomi, Gabriel, John, Benny, Cain, Anna, Amara, Balthazar and Raphael.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Night 3

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Bobby stays awake all night. Castiel receives medical supplies from an unknown sponsor. Jody tries to treat her infection. Charlie attempts to start a fire, but is unsuccessful. Michael shoots an arrow at Alex, but misses and kills Lucifer instead.

**Fuck off:** FUCK YOU MICHAEL

**Wait until I get out of here:** FUCK YOU TOO BITCH

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Dean starts a fire. Rowena and Azazel sleep in shifts. Garth begs for Mary to kill him. She refuses, keeping Garth alive. Sam, Ellen, and Metatron sleep in shifts.

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Get the fuck away from me trash (not you Ellen I love you)

**The Responsible One:** I agree with you Sam (I love you too)

**The best writer:** What the fuck

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Hannah screams for help. Claire stays awake all night. Ruby sets Jo on fire with a molotov.

**Impala67:** Ruby did you just molotov my adopted sister?

**I’m Awesome:** No

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Aww that’s sweet Dean

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Also yes

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Yes she did

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Gadreel is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Day 4

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Charlie receives clean water from an unknown sponsor. Dean overhears Rowena and Alex talking in the distance. Azazel sees smoke rising in the distance, but decides not to investigate. Metatron defeats Claire in a fight, but spares her life. Mary thinks about home. Castiel makes a wooden spear. Garth stalks Bobby. Sam begs for Ellen to kill him. She refuses, keeping Sam alive. Hannah runs away from Michael. Ruby injures herself. Jody picks flowers. Gadreel accidentally detonates a land mine while trying to arm it.

**Fuck You Lucifer:** Damnit

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Fallen Tributes

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Lucifer, Jo, Gadreel, Chuck, Samandriel, Alistair, Kevin, Abaddon, Crowley, Meg, Naomi, Gabriel, John, Benny, Cain, Anna, Amara, Balthazar and Raphael.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Night 4

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Dean receives clean water from an unknown sponsor. Claire quietly hums. Ruby, Charlie, Rowena, and Jody tell each other ghost stories to lighten the mood. Mary tries to sing herself to sleep. Sam sees a fire, but stays hidden. Garth and Alex sleep in shifts. Michael, Hannah, Bobby, and Ellen tell each other ghost stories to lighten the mood. Castiel questions his sanity. Azazel thinks about home. Metatron tries to treat his infection.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Day 5

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Jody begs for Metatron to kill her. He refuses, keeping Jody alive. Mary camouflages herself in the bushes. Castiel and Charlie work together for the day.

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** YAY TEAMWORK

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Yay!

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Rowena scares Ellen off. Claire searches for a water source. Ruby makes a slingshot. Michael tends to Dean's wounds.

**Impala67:** GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU FUCKING DICK

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Azazel kills Hannah while she is resting.

**Hannah:** Seriously? I was doing so well

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Garth, Alex, and Sam hunt for other tributes. Bobby accidentally detonates a land mine while trying to arm it.

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** BALLS

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Arena Event

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** A swarm of tracker jackers invades the arena.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Azazel, Garth, Metatron, Ellen, Dean, Jody, Castiel and Sam survive. Alex and Michael run out of places to run and are stung to death.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** DAMNIT

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Rowena is stung to death.

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** Come on!

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Ruby knocks Charlie unconscious and leaves her there as bait.

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Fuck you

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** While running away from the tracker jackers, Claire grabs Mary and throws her to the ground.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Fallen Tributes

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Hannah, Bobby, Alex, Rowena, Charlie, Michael, Mary, Lucifer, Jo, Gadreel, Chuck, Samandriel, Alistair, Kevin, Abaddon, Crowley, Meg, Naomi, Gabriel, John, Benny, Cain, Anna, Amara, Balthazar and Raphael.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Night 5

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Ellen passes out from exhaustion. Metatron tends to his wounds. Azazel stays awake all night. Jody questions her sanity. Dean is unable to start a fire and sleeps without warmth.

**Impala67:** Evidently I’m bad at starting fires

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Sam starts a fire.

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** BUT I’M NOT

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Garth tries to sing himself to sleep. Claire tends to her wounds. Castiel sees a fire, but stays hidden. Ruby tries to sing herself to sleep.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** The Feast

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Castiel, Sam and Ruby all decide not to go to The Feast. Jody and Ellen fight Dean and Metatron. Jody and Ellen survive.

**Impala67:** Nooooooo

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I will avenge you Dean

**Impala67:** Woo

**The best writer:** What about me?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** No fuck you

**The best writer:** Okay you know what

**_The best writer_ ** _ has left the chat _

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Don’t worry guys the eye sore is gone

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Claire stabs Garth while his back is turned.

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** I’m sorry Garth

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Azazel sobs while gripping a photo of his friends and family.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Day 6

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Sam makes a slingshot. Jody and Claire work together for the day. Ruby searches for a water source. Castiel tries to spear fish with a trident.

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** WHERE DID YOU GET MY TRIDENT

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** A magician never reveals his secrets

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Azazel camouflages himself in the bushes. Ellen attempts to climb a tree, but falls to her death.

**The Responsible One:** Damn

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Fallen Tributes

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Dean, Metatron, Garth, Ellen, Hannah, Bobby, Alex, Rowena, Charlie, Michael, Mary, Lucifer, Jo, Gadreel, Chuck, Samandriel, Alistair, Kevin, Abaddon, Crowley, Meg, Naomi, Gabriel, John, Benny, Cain, Anna, Amara, Balthazar and Raphael.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Night 6

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Claire convinces Jody to snuggle with her. Sam and Azazel hold hands.

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** 🤮🤮🤮🤮

**Yellow Eyes:** Oh real mature

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Ruby quietly hums. Castiel tends to his wounds.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Day 7

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Castiel, Claire, and Jody get into a fight. Jody triumphantly kills them both.

**The Other Responsible One:** I’m sorry guys I love you

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** It’s all g

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I love you too Jody

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I’m sorry I didn’t avenge you Dean

**Impala67:** My hero

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** THAT WAS SO SARCASTIC AND I CAN SEE YOU SO I KNOW IT WAS

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Azazel spears Ruby in the abdomen.

**I’m Awesome:** *sigh*

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Sam tries to spear fish with a trident.

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** YOU TOOK MY TRIDENT

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** YOU TOOK IT FROM ME FIRST

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** YOU TOOK IT FROM MY DEAD BODY

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Fallen Tributes

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Castiel, Claire, Ruby, Dean, Metatron, Garth, Ellen, Hannah, Bobby, Alex, Rowena, Charlie, Michael, Mary, Lucifer, Jo, Gadreel, Chuck, Samandriel, Alistair, Kevin, Abaddon, Crowley, Meg, Naomi, Gabriel, John, Benny, Cain, Anna, Amara, Balthazar and Raphael.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Night 7

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Azazel climbs a tree to rest. Jody receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor. Sam cooks his food before putting his fire out.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Day 8

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Sam defeats Jody in a fight, but spares her life. Azazel receives fresh food from an unknown sponsor.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Night 8

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Azazel defeats Jody in a fight, but spares her life. Sam dies from hypothermia.

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** SERIOUSLY?! I SURVIVE RUNNING INTO TRIBUTES, TRACKER JACKERS AND HAD MY TRIDENT STOLEN FROM ME AND THIS IS HOW I DIE?! I SWEAR TO GOD IF AZAZEL WINS THIS

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** There there

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** JODY YOU BETTER WIN

**The Other Responsible One:** I’ll try Sam!

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Day 9

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Azazel dies trying to escape the arena.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Fallen Tributes

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Sam, Azazel, Castiel, Claire, Ruby, Dean, Metatron, Garth, Ellen, Hannah, Bobby, Alex, Rowena, Charlie, Michael, Mary, Lucifer, Jo, Gadreel, Chuck, Samandriel, Alistair, Kevin, Abaddon, Crowley, Meg, Naomi, Gabriel, John, Benny, Cain, Anna, Amara, Balthazar and Raphael.

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** JODY WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!🎉🎉


	24. Chapter 23 - Fuck off: And me, I'm the damn fool that shot him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impala67 - Dean  
> Gabriel’s impulse control - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny

**House of Vibe [03:03]**

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has added  _ **_Alfie_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_House of Vibe_ **

**Alfie:** Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh?????????????

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Why not?

**Alfie:** Okay?

**Impala67:** GO TO SLEEP

**House of Vibe [12:01]**

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HAMILTON IS ON DISNEY+!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** OMG YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSS

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Wait y’all haven’t watched it there yet?

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** No???

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** It’s been on there since the 3rd of July???

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** I stayed up until midnight and then watched the whole three hours

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Valid

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** @ **Gabriel’s impulse control** @ **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002)** @ **You Didn’t Connect Shit** @ **We saw the ad on craigslist** @ **Impala67**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** WE ARE WATCHING IT TONIGHT

**Impala67:** Wot?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** We are watching Hamilton tonight

**Impala67:** Okay?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Aight

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I have been wanting to watch it

**[11:31]**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** OH MY GOD THAT WAS AMAZING

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** OKAY CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE FACT THAT LAFAYETTE AND JEFFERSON, MULLIGAN AND MADISON, LAURENS AND PHILIP AND PEGGY AND MARIA ARE PLAYED BY THE SAME ACTORS

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** LIKE GO OFF

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Y’all know Discord sings?

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Yeah?

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** How does a bastard, orphan, son of a whore and a Scotsman, dropped in the middle of a forgotten spot in the Caribbean by providence impoverished in squalor, grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

 **It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** The ten-dollar founding father without a father got a lot farther by working a lot harder by being a lot smarter by being a self-starter

 **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** By fourteen, they placed him in charge of a trading charter

 **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** And every day while slaves were being slaughtered and carted away across the waves, he struggled and kept his guard up inside, he was longing for something to be a part of the brother was ready to beg, steal, borrow, or barter

 **You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Then a hurricane came, and devastation reigned our man saw his future drip, dripping down the drain put a pencil to his temple, connected it to his brain and he wrote his first refrain, a testament to his pain

 **I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Well, the word got around, they said, this kid is insane, man took up a collection just to send him to the mainland get your education, don't forget from whence you came and the world is gonna know your name, what's your name, man?

 **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Alexander Hamilton my name is Alexander Hamilton and there's a million things I haven't done but just you wait, just you wait

 **We saw the ad on craigslist:** When he was ten his father split, full of it, debt-ridden two years later, see Alex and his mother bed-ridden half-dead sittin' in their own sick, the scent thick and Alex got better but his mother went quick

 **Gabriel’s impulse control:** Moved in with a cousin, the cousin committed suicide left him with nothin' but ruined pride, something new inside voice saying alex, you gotta fend for yourself he started retreatin' and readin' every treatise on the shelf

 **Impala67:** There would have been nothin' left to do for someone less astute he woulda been dead or destitute without a cent of restitution started workin', clerkin' for his late mother's landlord tradin' sugarcane and rum and all the things he can't afford

 **I’ve Connected Them:** Scammin' for every book he can get his hands on plannin' for the future see him now as he stands on the bow of a ship headed for a new land

 **I’ve Connected Them:** In New York you can be a new man x5

 **All Hail The Watcher:** Just you wait x3 *getting more dramatic*

 **Impala67:** ALEXANDER HAMILTON

 **I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** We are waiting in the wings for you

 **You Didn’t Connect Shit:** You could never back down

 **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** You never learned to take your time

 **Gabriel’s impulse control:** Oh, Alexander Hamilton

 **I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** When America sings for you

 **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Will they know what you overcame?

 **It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Will they know you rewrote your game?

 **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** The world will never be the same, oh

 **The Responsible One:** The ship is in the harbor now

 **The Other Responsible One:** See if you can spot him

**Alfie:** Another immigrant comin' up from the bottom

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** His enemies destroyed his rep America forgot him

 **I Am Your Father:** We fought with him

 **I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Me, I died for him

 **All Hail The Watcher:** Me, I trusted him

**Alfie:** Me, I loved him

**Fuck off:** And me, I'm the damn fool that shot him

 **I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** There's a million things I haven't done

 **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** But just you wait

 **I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** What's your name, man?

 **I’ve Connected Them:** ALEXANDER HAMILTON

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** *Jake Peralta voice* chills literal chills

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** I love how there were no mistakes somehow

**All Hail The Watcher:** Yeah guys wtf

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Anyone going to talk about Lucifer joining in

**Fuck off:** No

**[23:11]**

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has added  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control, Impala67, You Didn’t Connect Shit_ ** _ and 4 others to the chat:  _ **_We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays_ **

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** y

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Idk confessions chat?

**Impala67:** What?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’ll give an example

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** One time I bought a rainbow belt and got dirty looks from the elderly couple in the store

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Ah so it’s like that TikTok thing?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** YES

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Aight my turn

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** One time I told a dude at school I liked girls and he pushed me into one and told me to ‘have fun’

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** That is just sad honestly like dude wtf

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Yeah then I shoved him against a wall and told him to fuck off

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Good for you

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Gabriel you forgot to add people

**I’ve Connected Them:** Damnit Gabriel

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Who?

**_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ has added  _ **_I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002)_ ** _ and  _ **_It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000)_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays_ **

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** WAIT Y’ALL GAY?

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** What is everyone’s sexuality and preferred pronouns real quick?

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Lesbian, she/her

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** ^^^^

**Impala67:** Bi he/him

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** ^^

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Angels don’t technically have a gender so we’re all genderless but when I’m in a male vessel I consider myself a guy so I’m gay

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** If that makes sense??

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’m attracted to guys

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** If I was in a female vessel I’d be straight

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I have no preference of gender and I use he/him

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Same as Gabriel

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Bi he/him

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Pan she/her, they/them I don’t really care

**I’ve Connected Them:** Pan/Polyamorus she/her

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** So yeah I basically made this chat for us to tell stories or to get help or anything

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** So this is a gay safe space?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Pretty much

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Sweet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I watched Hamilton the night it came on Disney+ and I immediately wrote this but I had so many prewritten chapters that this only came out now. Those stories are what have happened to a friend and I. I bought a rainbow belt and this random old couple gave me a disapproving look and said that I was going to hell and I just responded with ‘Ok boomer’ and left the store.


	25. Chapter 24 - We’re Here For The Cult Stuff: If we find out that you have hurt our brother in any way we will fuck you up so it would be wise to send the fucking screenshots

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impala67 - Dean  
> Gabriel’s impulse control - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I’M GOING TO SAY THIS BUT BRACE YOURSELVES BECAUSE SOME ANGST RANDOMLY FOUND ITS WAY IN HERE SO I AM SORRY IN ADVANCE I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED

**[8:39]**

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** SAM

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** S a M

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** S A M

**We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays [10:39]**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** What the fuck?

**House of Vibe [12:39]**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** SAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**Impala67:** SAM I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD COME GET YOUR FUCKING ANGEL

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** S

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** A

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** M

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** S A M A N T H A

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** S A M I C H

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** M O O S E

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** WHAT

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** You’ve been ignoring me!

**King of Hell:** Oh boy a fucking lovers quarrell

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Take it somewhere else we don’t care

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** Well now I’m interested

**Alfie:** I love that moose is the one he responds to

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Fuck off

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Aight what?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** You’ve been giving me the silent treatment for like three days

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** What’s going on?   
**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Did I do something wrong?   
**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Whatever I did I’m sorry but please tell me what’s going on

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** You really don’t know?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Know what?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** That girl at that bar in Toledo

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Who???

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** THE ONE YOU FUCKING KISSED!

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** WAIT!

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** HER?!

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** YES HER

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I was just asking her questions about the case and then she just kissed me

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** You still kissed her!

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I pushed her away and told her I had a boyfriend and then she left

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I know you used to sleep with every person you saw but I thought you would have stopped

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** She came onto me!

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Seriously!

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Impala67_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Your brother is such a fucking dick

**Impala67:** This can’t be good

**We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays**

**Impala67:** @ **Gabriel’s impulse control** what did you do?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** What?

**Impala67:** Gabriel messaged me saying you were a dick and then just left and he looked kinda pissed and upset

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** He left?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** WHAT DID YOU DO

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** He kissed some girl at a bar and I talked to him about it

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Screenshots

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Huh?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** We’re assuming this was via text seeing as you haven’t spoken to him in days

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Why would I send you screenshots?

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Samuel William Winchester

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** If we find out that you have hurt our brother in any way we will fuck you up so it would be wise to send the fucking screenshots

**_Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays_ **

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Dude

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Seriously?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I had to talk to him about it

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Yeah but you didn’t have to be a dick about it

**I’ve Connected Them:** Gabriel has stated multiple times that he likes guys and not girls

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Dude you gotta fix this

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I know

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I feel bad

_ Private Message Between  _ **_You Didn’t Connect Shit_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I can’t believe he’d say that to me

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Yeah I heard

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Fucking dick

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I KNOW RIGHT

**We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays**

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** No like seriously he’s really upset

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** He just messaged me and he’s really hurt

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** SAMUEL WILLIAM WINCHESTER YOU’RE FUCKING LUCKY GABE LOVES YOU OR I’D FUCKING SMITE YOU WHERE YOU STAND

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** He slept with all those people because he was trying to move on from you after he heard you were fucking dead

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** That was how he coped because for years he thought you were still in the cage and he thought that Dean and I had died during the fight so he didn’t look for us

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Then when he found out you were alive he was already captured by Asmodeus

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** So yeah

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Ya better fix this

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Gabriel

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I’m sorry

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I understand if you want to leave but please let me explain myself first

_ Failed to Send. This user has blocked all incoming messages from you. _

**House of Vibes**

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** @ **I’ve Connected The Two Dots**

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I’m sorry

_ Failed to Send.  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has blocked all incoming messages from  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _. _

  
**Fuck off:** WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU FUCKING DO TO MY BROTHER

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: You know when you’re trying to write something with no angst but then it just randomly appears and you look at it like ‘HOW THE FUCK?!’ cause yeah that’s kinda what happened here.


	26. Chapter 25 - Fuck off: Talk to me, Malachi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impala67 - Dean  
> Gabriel’s impulse control - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny

**[09:00]**

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

_ 11 missed calls from  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ **

**[12:00]**

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _ and  _ **_Impala67_ **

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Fuck I really messed up

**Impala67:** Yeah I would think so

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I just want to apologise to him but he’s not answering

**Impala67:** Well I wouldn’t

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I’m really worried

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I tried praying to him but he’s ignoring me

**Impala67:** I’d ignore you

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** You’re not helping

**Impala67:** I don’t know what else to say

**Impala67:** You fucked up bad

**Impala67:** He’s probably in heaven or with the Norse gods or something

**Impala67:** He’ll come back in a few days

**[Same time]**

_ Private Message Between  _ **_You Didn’t Connect Shit_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Where are you?

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** I’m not going to tell Sam or anything just tell me where you are

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** I’m worried about you

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** All of us are

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’m in my house in Skarsvåg in northern Norway

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** The people are nice and there’s lots of reindeer

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Awww that’s cute

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** I see you’ve blocked Sam

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I don’t want to talk to him right now

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Understandable

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** We’re all behind you

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** He was a real asshole

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Yeah our chat made that clear

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’m just not in the mood to talk to him right now

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’ll talk to him later

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Fair enough

**[14:36 Three Days Later]**

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _ and  _ **_I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002)_ **

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Has Gabriel messaged you?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** No and even if he did I wouldn’t tell you

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Fair enough

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I’m just really worried about him

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** He hasn’t said anything for three days and he won’t answer my calls or my prayers

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Would you?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I mean you basically inferred he was a slut

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I’d never talk to you again

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I know I messed up badly

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I never wanted to hurt him

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** It just came out

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Did you mean it?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** What?

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Did. You. Mean. It?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** NO

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** OF COURSE NOT

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I love him and I’d never hurt him ever

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** God I fucked up and now I’ve lost him

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Knowing Gabriel he’ll probably want to yell at you eventually so he’ll message soon

_ Private Message Between  _ **_We saw the ad on craigslist_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Sam’s really worried about you

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Oh now he’s worried about me

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** What about when he fucking called me a slut

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** What about when he didn’t do anything to stop me from leaving

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** What about when I tried to explain what happened but he didn’t fucking listen

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** I understand that Gabe but he’s really worried about you

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** He’s freaking out

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Let him freak out a bit more

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Should I tell him that you’re okay?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’ll message him later

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Do you know when you’ll come back?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’m not coming back for a while

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I missed this place

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Charlie mentioned you were in Norway

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Yeah it’s pretty

**[16:51]**

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Fuck off_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**Fuck off:** What did he do?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** What do you care? You never cared about me before why now?

**Fuck off:** Gabe

**Fuck off:** I know we haven’t properly talked in eons and I know I kinda stabbed you but please talk to me

**Fuck off:** We were so close in heaven

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Kinda stabbed me?

**Fuck off:** Okay I stabbed you

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** That’s better

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Now did you just message me to discuss how you stabbed me or can I go join in the town feast because they make the best fucking food ever

**Fuck off:** Talk to me, Malachi

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Heylel please just let it be

**Fuck off:** We may not have actually seen each other in years and it’s been way longer since we actually talked but I still know an upset archangel when I hear one, or in your case don’t hear because you haven’t messaged any group chat in days and it’s highly concerning

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has sent a photo _

**Fuck off:** Did he just?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Yeah

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** He did

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** And after the whole apocalypse not apocalypse and Sam was ‘dead’ I was sitting there thinking he was actually dead and to get over him I slept around with a bunch of people and a few gods

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** So all of that has bad memories and he basically shoved them all in my face

**Fuck off:** I’m going to kill him

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Please don’t

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I still love him

**Fuck off:** Seriously maim?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** No!

**Fuck off:** Minorly maim?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** No one will be doing anything to Sam!

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** And you can tell the others that too

**_Fuck off_ ** _ has taken a screenshot _

**Fuck off:** I’ll just send that to everyone else then

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Yeah you do that

**The Pearly White Gates**

**Fuck off:** Bad news guys

**_Fuck off_ ** _ has sent a photo _

**Alfie:** Aight

**Fuck You Lucifer:** Wait what happened?

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Sam was a major dick and Gabe’s really hurt by it

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** That’s all you need to know

**Hannah:** Wait what

**All Hail The Watcher:** He’ll tell you guys if he needs to but just leave him alone right now aight?

**Naomi:** Okay

**[19:59]**

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Impala67_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**Impala67:** Alright I know I’m probably the last one you want to hear from but I just want to make sure you’re okay

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’m fine

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Everyone keeps telling me Sam’s worrying about me

**Impala67:** We all are

**Impala67:** You haven’t talked on any chat in days

**Impala67:** It’s weird

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Again I’m fine

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I just needed a break is all

**Impala67:** Fair enough

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: OH BOY THIS IS A MESS HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! I don’t even know how the fuck this random angst appeared but here it is so enjoy!


	27. Chapter 26 - I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004): Sounds festive

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impala67 - Dean  
> Gabriel’s impulse control - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny

**[20:05]**

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Impala67_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

**Impala67:** Sam hasn’t been sleeping

**Impala67:** Like at all

**Impala67:** He honestly hates himself for what he said and I’m not defending him at all

**Impala67:** I’m 100% on your side here but I just thought I’d let you know that he is genuinely sorry and would do anything to fix this

_ Message Read [20:47] _

**[20:49]**

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ **

_ Messages sent _

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Gabe?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Please call me I’m worried

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I’m fine so stop messaging me and stop trying to call me

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Gabriel please

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Just leave me alone Sam

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Gabriel I’m truly truly sorry

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam please just go away

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** No because I have to explain myself

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Please just listen

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Sam

_ Incoming Call From  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ **

G: Sam please just leave me alone. I don’t want to talk to you right now okay?

S: Gabriel please, you can do whatever the hell you want to me but please just listen to me first.

G: I’m listening.

S: Gabriel, I don’t expect you to ever forgive me and I’m so sorry I ever said it and I just wish I could just take it back.

G: See I’m gonna have to stop you right there. You’re only sorry because I left. Not because you said it.

S: Gabriel, I really mean it. I’m so sorry I ever said it. I hurt you bad and I can’t take it back but please forgive me. I love you so much and I hate what I said to you. I don’t want to lose you but I understand if you never want to see me again.

G: Sam.

S: Please believe me when I say I’m truly sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t talk to you about it sooner. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you. I’m sorry for everything. If you never want to see me or talk to me ever again, I understand.

G: You Winchesters and your self-loathing. I swear one day it’s going to kill Cas and I. I’m just tired okay? I’m not exactly sure what to think right now. I’m pissed as all Hell at you but I still love you so much. No, I don’t want to never see you again. Do you know how crazy that’d drive me? I just need a break okay? There’s been things going on that you don’t understand for a while but this just sort of tipped it over the line of how much shit I can take right now. I’ll probably stay here another few days. Castiel already told Heaven to leave me alone and Lucifer messaged the angel chat so hopefully they actually listen.

S: You could have talked to me Gabe. I would have listened to everything. I could have helped you.

G: It wasn’t something you could help with.

S: I would certainly try.

G: It’s difficult to explain. Heaven is kinda a mess right now and the pagans are just being pagans and stressing me out because that’s what they’ve been doing to me for centuries. My relationship with them is like everyone’s relationship with me on the chat.

S: That does not sound fun.

G: No it’s not.

S: Cas and Balthazar kinda explained what happened after I fell into The Pit.

G: You have to understand that I was fucked up after that. It may have been just a quick kiss before I faced Lucifer but I was in love with you and my brother had just tried to kill me so finding out that the both of you and Michael were in The Cage really messed things up. When I found out you were dead it destroyed me. I went to Monte Carlo and slept with as many people as possible. Then when I heard you were alive it was from Asmodeus. I just couldn’t cope with your death and finding out you were alive is what broke me.

S: Gabriel I’m so sorry. I really am.

G: I know Sammy and I forgive you but we’re going to have a proper talk when I get back okay?

S: Okay.

… 

G: Dean says you haven’t been sleeping.

S: Not really. It’s hard to sleep when I’ve fucked up.

G: Please get some sleep, it’s not good for you.

S: Okay I’ll try. Where are you anyway? I’ve been worrying about whether or not you’re safe since you left.

G: Skarsvåg. It’s a small town in northern Norway. It’s really pretty at this time of year and the people are always nice.

S: Sounds fun.

G: I should show you some time. It’ll have to be before winter though cause it’s fucking freezing then.

S: That doesn’t sound as fun.

G: It’s not trust me.

S: Promise me you’ll come back so we can have a proper talk?

G: I promise and if anything happens while I’m gone just pray to me and I’ll come back straight away, alright?

S: Alright.

G: I love you Sam and it’s going to take a lot more to make me stop.

S: I love you too Gabe.

_ Call Ended _

“He may be a giant self-loathing idiot but he’s my giant self-loathing idiot.”

**House of Vibe**

**Impala67:** Why do I hear talking from your room @ **Gabriel’s impulse control**

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Because Gabriel answered my call

**I’ve Connected Them:** IS HE OKAY? WHAT DID YOU SAY? WHAT HAPPENED?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I apologised and we’re going to properly talk when he gets back

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Where is he anyway?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Norway

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Sounds festive

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** As long as he’s okay

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** He said he’d come back in a few days but he just wants to be left alone for now

**Wait until I get out of here:** You are so fucking lucky he loves you

**Alfie:** Yeah any one of us would have smited you by now

**All Hail The Watcher:** ^^^^

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I would have let you too

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** As long as he’s safe

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I didn’t know how to end this chapter so here


	28. NOT AN UPDATE

Hi guys I just wanted to let you know that my cat of almost 10 years passed away today. After a day of deliberation on what to do my parents and I decided to put him down. His kidneys were failing and he had a heart murmur so we did not want him to be in pain anymore. Harry was a beautiful boy and I will always love him. I will put up the last of the Sabriel angst saga and I’m not sure when I’ll post after that.

Thank you for being patient and I’ll post soon!!

Rest In Peace in cat heaven Harry❤️❤️


	29. Chapter 27 - I’ve Connected Them: SO this chat’s basically dead

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impala67 - Dean  
> Gabriel’s impulse control - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say thank you to everyone who commented on my update! It really means a lot and my family and I really appreciate all of your kinds words :)!

**House of Vibes [04:10]**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Guess who’s back

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Back again

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Gabriel’s back

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Tell your friends

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back, guess who’s back

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** MA HOMIE

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** MY FAIR LADY I HAVE RETURNED FROM MY QUEST IN FAR AWAY LANDS

**I’ve Connected Them:** OUR CULT LEADER HAS RETURNED @ **Razor Boy** @ **All Hail The Watcher** @ **We’re Here For The Cult Stuff** @ **We saw the ad on craigslist**

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** IT’S FOUR AM GO TO SLEEP

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** NO

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD HIMSELF THAT IF YOU DON’T GO TO SLEEP RIGHT FUCKING NOW I WILL KILL ALL OF YOU

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** I am however glad that you’re okay Gabriel

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Awwwwww he does care

**I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess:** What did I say about going to sleep?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** YES SIR

_Private Message Between_ ** _Impala67_** _and_ ** _I’ve Connected The Two Dots_** **[08:45]**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** You were right about him not sleeping

**Impala67:** ????

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** He was awake when I got back

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** He said that he hadn’t slept in four days

**Impala67:** Did you knock him out or something with your grace?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I offered but he didn’t want to sleep until we talked so we worked everything out properly

**Impala67:** What did you work out?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** We’re ok

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** We’re going to talk more unlike you and Sam who never tell each other what’s wrong

**Impala67:** I came out here

**Impala67:** To have a good time

**Impala67:** And I’m feeling so attacked right now

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** *GASP* HE MEMED

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Anyway we’re all good and we both learnt that we are both stubborn and we both blow up easily

**Impala67:** I could’ve told you that

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I should probably tell the angel chat to stop wishing death upon my boyfriend   
  


**The Pearly White Gates**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** WHAT’S UP FUCKERS

**Alfie:** WHY ARE YOU ON MY PHONE

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** FUCK YOU THAT’S WHY

**Hannah:** What just happened?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** It’s a meme

**Hannah:** Ahhhhhhhh

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Anyway just wanted to tell y’all to stop wishing death upon my boyfriend and we are all good

**Fuck off:** Are you sure cause I could still beat him up a bit

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** NO LUCIFER

**Fuck off:** YOU ALWAYS RUIN MY FUN

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** yOU AlwAys rUIn my fUn

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** YOU STABBED ME

**Fuck off:** Okay fair point

**We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I AM IN SO MANY CHATS WTF

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** ANYWAY

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** WE’RE ALL GOOD SO YOU CAN STOP WISHING DEATH UPON SAM OR WHATEVER

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR IS BACK EVERYONE

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** WHY ARE YOU YELLING

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** SO ARE YOU

**House of Vibes [23:59]**

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Okay so Dean and Cas were researching something and Cas left to go to the kitchen and he came back with coffee and now Dean’s leaning on his shoulder asleep this is so cute

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Cas wrapped his arm around Dean and kissed the top of his head this is so cute wtf

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** WE GET IT YOU’RE LONELY

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** SO ARE YOU

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** YEAH BUT I DON’T MESSAGE THE CHAT ABOUT OTHER COUPLES AT MIDNIGHT

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Fair point

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Gabe just came in and took a photo while whispering blackmail

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Really?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I am not missing this opportunity

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Fair enough

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Oh god no

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** I AM NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** AYO I’M JUST LIKE MY COUNTRY I’M YOUNG SCRAPPY AND HUNGRY AND I’M NOT THROWING AWAY MY SHOT

**The Other Responsible One:** DON’T ANY OF YOU THINK OF FINISHING THAT SONG

**The Responsible One:** GO TO SLEEP

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** YES MA’AMS

**#crowleycantevenwinthehungergameshowthefuckishesupposedtoleadus [10:20]**

**I’ve Connected Them:** SO this chat’s basically dead

**King of Hell:** And we intend to keep it that way

**I’ve Connected Them:** OVER MY DEAD BODY

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** That can be arranged

**I’ve Connected Them:** Ok you know what?

**_I’ve Connected Them_ ** _ has added  _ **_Boss Bitch_ ** _ ,  _ **_IDGAF_ ** _ and  _ **_Asmodeus_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_#crowleycantevenwinthehungergameshowthefuckishesupposedtoleadus_ **

**I’m Awesome:** Are you

**I’m Awesome:** ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS MEG?!

**I’ve Connected Them:** Very

**IDGAF:** What the fuck

**IDGAF:** What the fuck is this?

**IDGAF:** Why am I here?

**IDGAF:** How did you get my number first of all?

**Boss Bitch:** Ramiel stop sending stuff in like 5000 messages

**Fuck off:** Did you really add the other princes here?

**I’ve Connected Them:** Yes

**Asmodeus:** Why?

**I’ve Connected Them:** Why the fuck not?

**Asmodeus:** Can’t argue with that logic

_ Private Message Between  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _ and  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** **[18:19]**

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Hey Gabe?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Yah?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Can you add two people to the main chat?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I’ll send you their info

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Kk

**House of Vibe**

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has added  _ **_A Silent Voice_ ** _ and  _ **_British Accent_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_House of Vibes_ **

**British Accent:** Whoever you are you should not have my contact

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** It’s okay, it’s me Sam

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I gave him the info

**British Accent:** Okay????

**A Silent Voice:** Hey Sam

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Yo

**Impala67:** Hey Eileen

**A Silent Voice:** I’m going to assume you’re Dean?

**Impala67:** Yep

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Here’s everyone’s names and their usernames

**British Accent:** Cheers

**Impala67:** Okay I’m suspicious of this one

**British Accent:** It’s Mick

**Impala67:** Yeah well last time we thought it was Mick it was Ketch so send a photo

**British Accent:** *sigh*

**_British Accent_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_House of Vibe_ **

**British Accent:** Happy?

**Impala67:** Happy enough

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** OH YOU’RE MICK

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** THE MEN OF LETTERS GUY

**British Accent:** Yes

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Yo why he cute tho

**British Accent:** I-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: I miss Mick and also YAY NO MORE ANGST. It was honestly stressing me out and I don’t even know how it happened but yeah they’re okay and I’m not writing extensive angst in this again because holy shit. No, I’m not going to put Balthazar with Mick.


	30. Chapter 28 - Fuck off: We have a chat?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So...it's been a while😂  
> I'm not dead! I just have final exams and have been very busy studying. Sorry for not updating sooner

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Impala67 - Dean  
> Gabriel’s impulse control - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000) - Jo  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004) - Claire  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny  
> IDGAF - Ramiel  
> Boss Bitch - Dagon  
> Asmodeus - Asmodeus  
> A Silent Voice - Eileen  
> British Accent - Mick

**Fuck the Apocalypse [14:13]**

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Okay but Meg’s kinda hot tho

**The Responsible One:** Context?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Meg came by the bunker

**The Responsible One:** Ahhhh

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Seriously though!

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** She’s kinda hot though

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Yeah she’s kinda hot though

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** *Cue every gay Tik Tok song*

**Impala67:** I’M DUMB SHE’S A LESBIAN

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** 'Cause it's too cold whoa for you here and now so let me hold whoa both your hands in the holes of my sweater

**_You Didn’t Connect Shit_ ** _ has added  _ **_A Silent Voice_ ** _ and  _ **_British Accent_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_Fuck the Apocalypse_ **

**British Accent:** ???

**Impala67:** Hunter chat

**British Accent:** Okay???

**A Silent Voice:** So do we actually do anything?

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Well Gabriel and I run a cult

**British Accent:** Wot?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Don’t worry it’s just a fanclub for this YouTube series called Buzzfeed Unsolved

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Basically two guys investigate Unsolved True Crime and go to places with suspected Supernatural activity

**British Accent:** Uh huh

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** I just realised I’m the only one on this chat in the cult

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** The rest are angels, a demon and a vampire

**British Accent:** WHAT

**Impala67:** Okay dude chill

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** The angels we talk to are good

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Most of the time

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** The demon’s chill and she’s helped us previously

**Impala67:** And the vampire helped get me out of Purgatory

**British Accent:** So they’re the good monsters you talked about

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** And me

**British Accent:** Who?

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** I’m Garth

**British Accent:** Ah the werewolf I was told about

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Yeah :)

**British Accent:** So I know Benny's the vamp and I know who the angels are but who’s the demon?

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Meg

**British Accent:** Right

**The Pearly White Gates**

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** No seriously why he cute

**All Hail The Watcher:** And here we see a disater gay in action

**Naomi:** Who’s cute?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** A British Men of Letters guy

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has sent a photo to the chat:  _ **_The Pearly White Gates_ **

**Fuck off:** Why do you have a photo of him?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** IT’S THE ONE HE SENT TO THE CHAT

**Fuck off:** What chat

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** THE MAIN CHAT

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** THE ONE WITH THE ANGELS AND THE HUNTERS AND THE DEMONS

**Fuck off:** We have a chat?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I GIVE UP

**Fuck You Lucifer:** He is kinda cute and I’m not even gay

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** THANK YOU

**Alfie:** Lowkey though yeah

**Hannah:** Is everyone on this chat gay?

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Almost everyone

**Alfie:** I mean

**Alfie:** Yeah

**Alfie:** I just think everyone is attractive in some way

**We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays**

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has added  _ **_Alfie_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays_ **

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Welcome to the gay agenda

**Alfie:** Good to be here

**Alfie:** I think????????????????

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** It’s a gay group chat

**Alfie:** Ahhhhhh

**Alfie:** I’m Pan and I don’t care about pronouns

**Alfie:** You can just call me whatever

**Impala67:** Welcome whatever

**#crowleycantevenwinthehungergameshowthefuckishesupposedtoleadus**

**I’ve Connected Them:** Okay but why is that hunter chick hot

**King of Hell:** Okay but why do you think we care and can you PLEASE change the chat name

**I’ve Connected Them:** No

**Fuck off:** OKAY

**Fuck off:** I’m in so many fucking chats and see everyone freaking out over hot people so wtf

**Fuck off:** Has there suddenly been an influx of hot people or what

**I’ve Connected Them:** I mean basically

**I’m Awesome:** Okay but there are a lot of hunter chicks so who are we talking about?

**I’ve Connected Them:** Charlie

**I’m Awesome:** Aight

**We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** My girlfriend just found out I’m bi and broke up with me

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Dude I’m sorry

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** It’s fine

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** WINCHESTERS ITS HUG KEVIN TIME

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Omw

**Impala67:** I just realised that everyone living in the bunker is LGBT+

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Is it confession time?

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** Sure

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** One time when I was at a club a guy said he could ‘turn me’

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Guys can be disgusting

**Alfie:** Yeah

**I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004):** That’s why I’m gay

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Gabe can you add Mick here?

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has added  _ **_British Accent_ ** _ to the chat:  _ **_We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays_ **

**I’ve Connected Them:** Welcome to the gay safe space

**British Accent:** Hi?

**British Accent:** Uh

**British Accent:** I’m gay, ace and he/him

**British Accent:** So what do you guys do here?

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000):** Gay confessions mostly

**British Accent:** I see

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** We also just came to the realisation that everyone living in the bunker is in this chat

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Except Jack cause he’s not in any chats

**Impala67:** I don’t trust him in any of the chats

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** That’s a fair assessment

**House of Vibes [23:29]**

**_I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002)_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_One Is A Genius_ **

**_I’m Not Okay (I Promise) by My Chemical Romance (2004)_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_The Other’s Insane_ **

**_It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000)_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_They’re Laboratory Mice_ **

**_I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011)_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_Their Genes Have Been Spliced_ **

**_One Is A Genius_ ** _ has added  _ **_They’re Pinky and The Brain_ **

**Impala67:** WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Am I potentially setting myself up for Meg/Charlie? Probably. Am I going to do anything to stop it? No. Am I going to build up some sort of relationship between them? Probably yes. I also relate to Balthazar and Charlie cause my disaster bi ass doesn’t know how to deal with all the hot people on this show.


	31. Chapter 31

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impala67 - Dean  
> Gabriel’s impulse control - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> One Is A Genius - Kevin  
> The Other’s Insane - Claire  
> They’re Laboratory Mice - Jo  
> Their Genes Have Been Spliced - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny  
> IDGAF - Ramiel  
> Boss Bitch - Dagon  
> Asmodeus - Asmodeus  
> A Silent Voice - Eileen  
> British Accent - Mick

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Hey guys just a reminder that all these chapters are prewritten like weeks in advance so if you request something it may take a while to be posted :)

**Chapter 29** \-  **Gabriel’s impulse control:** Dean no

**House of Vibes [8:30]**

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** WTF

**The Other’s Insane:** What? We can’t have matching names?

**The Responsible One:** It’s just so random

**They’re Pinky and The Brain:** Well

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Wait

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Jack?

**They’re Pinky and The Brain:** Yeah?

**Impala67:** Oh no

**British Accent:** Oh no what

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** HELLO MY NEPHEW WELCOME!

**They’re Pinky and The Brain:** HELLO

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** WHAT WISDOM DOES THE BRAIN BRING

**They’re Pinky and The Brain:** There are 2 types of car owners. One hates it when it rains because it gets their car wet. The other is happy when it rains because it cleans their car.

**A Silent Voice:** Oh my god he’s right

**One Is A Genius:** That’s straight up a shower thought

**They’re Laboratory Mice:** We should all say a shower thought

**They’re Laboratory Mice:** Go

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** You can’t move your top teeth

**British Accent:** …

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** I was having a good day. We were all having a good day.

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** Anything to get the fucking GHOSTS on this chat talking because the author doesn’t know how else to write them in

**Fuck the Grand Coven:** WHAT FUCKING AUTHOR

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** WAIT WE SHOULD MAKE A SEPERATE CHAT FOR SHOWER THOUGHTS AND AND WE JUST RANDOMLY TYPE THEM IN ANYTIME

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** YES

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ had added  _ **_You Didn’t Connect Shit_ ** _ ,  _ **_Gabriel’s impulse control_ ** _ ,  _ **_They’re Pinky and The Brain_ ** _ and 30 others to the chat:  _ **_Welcome to the Shower_ **

**_I’ve Connected Them_ ** _ has added  _ **_Cain_ ** _ ,  _ **_Yellow Eyes_ ** _ and 3 others to the chat:  _ **_Welcome to the Shower_ **

**Cain:** … 

**Boss Bitch:** *sigh*

**They’re Laboratory Mice:** SHOWER THOUGHTS

**They’re Laboratory Mice:** GO

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Someone has probably imagined having sex with you

**Alfie:** Yeah but normally people wake up from a nightmare

**I’ve Connected Them:** HOLY SHIT

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** r/suicidebywords

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** RESPECT

**IDGAF:** People aren’t afraid of being alone in the dark. People are afraid of NOT being alone in the dark

**The Other’s Insane:** He’s right oh my god wtf

**The Other’s Insane:** My disappointment is immeasurable and my day is ruined

**Asmodeus:** Will self driving cars need headlights?

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** AAAAAAAAAaaa

**Impala67:** If we removed all laws crime rates would drop to 0%

**The Other Responsible One:** No

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** nonohe’sgotapoint.jpg

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Everything in the universe is either pizza or not pizza

**I Am Your Father:** I guess?

**Boss Bitch:** They never said Humpty Dumpty was an egg

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** oh my god NO

**Fuck off:** When you wait for a waiter you become the waiter

**Wait until I get out of here:** I’m devastated fuck you

**They’re Laboratory Mice:** The bible doesn’t say anything about Jesus knowing how to drive or even owning a car so letting him take the wheel seems like a bad idea

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** No fuck you

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Jesus drives a Honda

**I’ve Connected Them:** Explain

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** John 12:49 “For I do not speak of my own Accord”

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** My day is ruined

**Fuck You Lucifer:** How does the human body replicate the feeling of falling from high altitudes in your sleep when you’ve never fallen from high altitudes before?

**Hannah:** I don’t know but I’m disturbed

**I’m the Motherfucking Queen:** Because there are always pregnant people the average number of skeletons in one body is higher than one

**One Is A Genius:** I never needed to think of this but now all my Twitter followers will too

**Impala67:** He just tweeted that but he spelt pregnant ‘preganantent’

**Naomi:** HOW????????????

**I’ve Connected Them:** What if the reason you can’t sleep is because all the sleep servers are taken and you have to wait for someone else to disconnect

**A Silent Voice:** Condoms are made in factories by robots. Robots are literally helping prevent human reproduction

**They’re Pinky and The Brain:** WE’RE DOOMED

**Razor Boy:** The next decision you make triggers a chain of events that will lead to your death

**Impala67:** Good

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Dean no

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** DEAN NO

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** WAIT

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** I have the ultimate

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** YOUR BELLYBUTTON IS JUST YOUR OLD MOUTH

**I’ve Connected Them:** AAAAAAAAAAAAA

**They’re Laboratory Mice:** NOOOOOOOOO

**The Other’s Insane:** MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I WAS HAVING A GOOD FUCKING DAY

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** WTF

**One Is A Genius:** And all of a sudden I am Jared, 19

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Well good morning to everyone except THIS BASTARD

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** CLOSE THE SERVER

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** CLOSE THE SERVER

**House of Vibe [11:59]**

**One Is A Genius:** FUCKING KAREN I SWEAR TO FUCKING GOD I AM THIS FUCKING CLOSE TO FUCKING QUITTING LIFE ALL TOGETHER

**One Is A Genius:** I'M JUST GOING TO LIVE OUT MY DAYS AS A LEECH AND NEVER DO ANYTHING PRODUCTIVE TO SOCIETY EVER AGAIN GOODBYE THIS IS THE LAST TIME THE WORLD WILL HEAR FROM KEVIN TRAN

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** What happened?

**I’ve Connected Them:** Ooooo Kevin rant time

**One Is A Genius:** THIS FUCKING BITCH WITHOUT A MASK ON RAN UP TO ME AND SAID THAT BECAUSE I’M ASIAN I AUTOMATICALLY HAVE THE FUCKING VIRUS AND THEREFORE DON’T NEED TO WEAR A MASK AND FUCKING RIPPED IT OFF ME BEFORE SHOVING ME ONTO THE FUCKING FLOOR

**One Is A Genius:** I’M SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS FUCKING VIRUS PEOPLE ARE BEING EVEN BIGGER IDIOTS THAN FUCKING NORMAL AND I’M DONE

**One Is A Genius:** THAT’S IT BYE I’M FUCKING OVER THIS SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT

**The Other’s Insane:** B R U H

**They’re Laboratory Mice:** What’d you do after that?

**One Is A Genius:** I shoved her back and said Fuck off Karen

**One Is A Genius:** Then she started going off about how calling someone a Karen is offensive and that she was offended and that she was going to press charges for assault and I’m like

**One Is A Genius:** Bruh you literally just said I have the virus because I’m Asian and then proceeded to push me over and it was all caught on film with multiple witnesses like fuck off I WON’T HESITATE BITCH

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Go off Kev!

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** Wooooooo go Kevin you tell that bitch!

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** FUCK IT UP KEVIN

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** So on this day we learnt to never fuck with Kevin


	32. Chapter 30 - You Didn’t Connect Shit: FUCK YOU LADY THAT’S WHAT STAIRS ARE FOR

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impala67 - Dean  
> Gabriel’s impulse control - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> One Is A Genius - Kevin  
> The Other’s Insane - Claire  
> They’re Laboratory Mice - Jo  
> Their Genes Have Been Spliced - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny  
> IDGAF - Ramiel  
> Boss Bitch - Dagon  
> Asmodeus - Asmodeus  
> A Silent Voice - Eileen  
> British Accent - Mick  
> They’re Pinky and The Brain - Jack

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Idk why but ao3 won't let me change last chapter to the proper title so this is chapter 30 and last chapter was chapter 29, it just won't let me edit it for some reason

**House of Vibes [20:48]**

**Alfie:** So after learning about the Karen that Kevin fucking wrecked does anyone else have any Karen stories?

**The Other’s Insane:** Some chick tried to get me towed because I parked in “her spot”

**Alfie:** Oof yes

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Uh some chick thought that I was creeping on her kids when I was looking at Oreos because I “looked like a creep” like wtf I just want my fucking Oreos

**Alfie:** Damb

**I’ve Connected Them:** Some mum wanted me to give my beer to her kid who looked like ten and I’m like ?????????????

**Alfie:** Wow entitled and terrible parent

**Razor Boy:** Honestly I had a similar story to Balthazar

**Razor Boy:** Some guy thought that I was going to kidnap his kid because I looked in their direction after he yelled at someone for accidentally running into his shopping trolley

**Alfie:** Male Karen

**Alfie:** noice.jpg

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Some chick got mad because I was wearing a mask like wtf

**Alfie:** BRUH

**We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays [00:40]**

**British Accent:** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**British Accent:** I went on a date last night and a Karen shouted at us saying we were going to hell and left the restaurant

**British Accent:** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**Alfie:** People are so stupid

**British Accent:** I know right

**House of Vibes**

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** ANYONE WHO LIKES MUSICALS

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** WRITE A LINE FROM ONE OF THE SONGS AND WE GUESS!

**The Other’s Insane:** I came as soon as I heard

**Razor Boy:** Hamilton

**The Other’s Insane:** Yes

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** My name is Karen, my hair is shiny

**I’ve Connected Them:** Mean Girls?

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** Bingo

**One Is A Genius:** In the coldest time of year, why is it so hot down here? Hotter than a crucible, it ain’t right, it ain’t natural

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Hadestown

**One Is A Genius:** Yea

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Lover, you were gone so long

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Lover, I was lonesome

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** So I built a foundry

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** In the ground beneath your feet

**One Is A Genius:** Here, I fashioned things of steel

**One Is A Genius:** Oil drums and automobiles

**One Is A Genius:** Then I kept that furnace fed

**One Is A Genius:** With the fossils of the dead

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Lover, when you feel that fire

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Think of it as my desire

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Think of it as my desire for you!

**One Is A Genius:** I’m assuming yours is also Hadestown

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Yeah and Chant is my favourite song

**One Is A Genius:** Mines Way Down Hadestown cause I’m basic

**They’re Laboratory Mice:** We must make sure the princesses look great, when their time comes for a Holbien portrait

**One Is A Genius:** SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIX

**They’re Laboratory Mice:** WE’RE SIX

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** When will the flames at last consume us?

**The Other’s Insane:** Phantom of the Opera?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Yep

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** I did not expect that to be your favourite

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** *Shrug* it was either that or Shrek so

**Alfie:** That makes more sense

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** THOUGH WITH FULL DISCLOSURE IT'S A SHOW ABOUT DEATH

**One Is A Genius:** BEETLEJUICE

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Yes

**One Is A Genius:** BEETLEJUICE

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Yes

**One Is A Genius:** Being young and female doesn't mean that I'm an easy mark

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** HUZZAH A MAN OF QUALITY

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** FUCK YOU LADY THAT’S WHAT STAIRS ARE FOR

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Avenue Q?????????????

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Yeah

**Alfie:** YOU MAKE MY BALLS SO BLUE

**They’re Laboratory Mice:** Heathers?!?!?!?!

**Alfie:** Yaaaaaaaaass

**Razor Boy:** It wasn’t until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands, I even knew they were dead!

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Chicago!

**Razor Boy:** Yup

**Impala67:** I did not expect you to like musicals

**Razor Boy:** Well you learn something new everyday

**[01:27]**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** SAM JUST FUCKING TRIPPED UP THE STAIRS AND WALKED BACK DOWN WHILE SAYING FUCK IT MULTIPLE TIMES

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** SHUT UP YOUR MOTHER BUYS YOU MEGA BLOKS INSTEAD OF LEGOS

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** YOU FUCKING TAKE THAT BACK

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Where were you going anyway

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** No idea but I’m not anymore

**They’re Pinky and The Brain:** Whole ass mood

**[12:37]**

**One Is A Genius:** So there’s a donkey on top of a building at school

**Impala67:** A what

**One Is A Genius:** A donkey

**Impala67:** A what

**One Is A Genius:** A donkey

**Impala67:** Why is there a donkey on top of your school?

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** More importantly how?

**One Is A Genius:** I don’t know but I’m concerned

**[16:58]**

**One Is A Genius:** So they found out who did it

**They’re Pinky and The Brain:** Who did?

**One Is A Genius:** The ENTIRE football team and like half of the cheerleaders knew about it

**One Is A Genius:** One of them has a cousin who owns donkeys and they thought, ‘you know what? Let’s put a fucking donkey on top of the school building’

**One Is A Genius:** We still don’t know how they did it but they did

**[19:43]**

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** So I started watching Peaky Blinders and it’s fucking awesome

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** IKR

**Razor Boy:** What’s the newest TV show everyone started watching?

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Sherlock

**I’ve Connected Them:** Hannibal

**They’re Laboratory Mice:** How to get away with murder

**We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015):** Vikings

**One Is A Genius:** Money Heist

**The Other’s Insane:** Queer Eye

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** One day at a time

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Gabe and I are watching Ragnarok

**All Hail The Watcher:** The Scholar Who Walks The Night

**Impala67:** Cas and I have been watching all the Monty Python movies

**I’ve Connected Them:** Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaassssss

**All Hail The Watcher:** So I binged the entire second season of Umbrella Academy when it came out

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** SAME IT’S SO GOOD

**We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays [00:59]**

**I’ve Connected Them:** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**I’ve Connected Them:** I just got in an argument with a guy over the internet about how polyamorus relationships aren’t cheating

**I’ve Connected Them:** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**British Accent:** What exactly is a polyamorus relationship?

**I’ve Connected Them:** There’s different versions of it but everything is consensual

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** #consentissexy

**I’ve Connected Them:** Agreed

**I’ve Connected Them:** So it’s either when you are in a relationship with multiple people but they aren’t in a relationship or you’re in a relationship with multiple people and they are also in a relationship

**I’ve Connected Them:** A lot of people think it’s cheating but everything is discussed and there is a lot of communication and all parties involved are aware of it and agreed to it

**British Accent:** Ah that makes sense


	33. Chapter 31 - Wait until I get out of here: Gabriel I’ve given up on you at this point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Impala67 - Dean  
> Gabriel’s impulse control - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> One Is A Genius - Kevin  
> The Other’s Insane - Claire  
> They’re Laboratory Mice - Jo  
> Their Genes Have Been Spliced - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny  
> IDGAF - Ramiel  
> Boss Bitch - Dagon  
> Asmodeus - Asmodeus  
> A Silent Voice - Eileen  
> British Accent - Mick  
> They’re Pinky and The Brain - Jack

**House of Vibes [23:58]**

**Their Genes Have Been Spliced:** Alright guys it’s been fun messing with everyone but the author keeps forgetting who is who so

**_Their Genes Have Been Spliced_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011)_ **

**_They’re Laboratory Mice_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2000)_ **

**_One Is A Genius_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002)_ **

**_The Other’s Insane_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006)_ **

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** WHY DID YOU CHANGE IT BACK TO YOUR FIRST NAME

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** FUCK YOU THAT’S WHY

**_They’re Pinky and The Brain_ ** _ has changed their name to  _ **_Hallelujah by Panic! At The Disco (2015)_ **

**Impala67:** I SWEAR TO GOD GUYS

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** The amount of times people change their names in the chat is giving me headaches

**The Pearly White Gates [22:40]**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** SO HOW IS EVERYBODY WE HAVEN’T TALKED IN AGES

**Fuck You Lucifer:** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

**Fuck You Lucifer:** HE’S BACK

**Fuck off:** People were finally leaving me alone damnit!

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** *sigh*

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** I love my brother, I love my brother, I love my brother

**Wait until I get out of here:** You okay there?

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** If I keep saying maybe he’ll go away

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** NOPE THIS CHAT IS DEAD SO TO ADD SOME CHAOS HERE!

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has added  _ **_Black Smoke Go Brrrr_ **

**Alfie:** WHO THE FUCK

**Naomi:** LANGUAGE

**Fuck You Lucifer:** WHOMST THE FUCK

**Hannah:** NO

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** WELCOME AUNTIE

**Black Smoke Go Brrrr:** What the fuck

**Black Smoke Go Brrrr:** Why the fuck

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Why the fuck not?

**Fuck off:** Fuck this shit I’m out

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Fuck this shit I’m out

**Wait until I get out of here:** Don’t mind imma just grab my stuff and leave

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Aw come on guys!

**Fuck off:** Nope

**_Fuck off_ ** _ has left the chat _

**_Why do I put up with this shit?_ ** _ has left the chat _

**_Wait until I get out of here_ ** _ has left the chat _

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** They never learn do they

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** I WILL JUST ADD YOU BACK

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has added  _ **_Fuck off_ ** _ ,  _ **_Why do I put up with this shit?_ ** _ and  _ **_Wait until I get out of here_ ** _ to the chat _

**Fuck off:** I hoped it would work this time

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** NEVER

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Because fuck you

**Wait until I get out of here:** Gabriel I’ve given up on you at this point

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** A lot of people have

_ Private Chat Between  _ **_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ and  _ **_Black Smoke Go Brrrr_ **

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Want to cause some REAL chaos?

**Black Smoke Go Brrrr:** Why not

**House of Vibes [09:48]**

**_I’ve Connected The Two Dots_ ** _ has added  _ **_Black Smoke Go Brrrr_ **

**Impala67:** Who now?!?!

**Fuck off:** GABRIEL

**Fuck off:** WHY

**Fuck off:** ARE

**Fuck off:** YOU

**Fuck off:** LIKE

**Fuck off:** THIS

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** BECAUSE

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** RAPHAEL WAS ALWAYS THE SMART ONE, MICHAEL WAS THE GOLDEN CHILD AND YOU WERE THE REBELLIOUS ONE

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** DAD NEVER EVEN LOOKED AT ME SO I DECIDED FUCK IT I’M THE WEIRD ONE SO FUCK YOU LUCIFER

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Gabe where are you I’m giving you hugs

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** My room

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Gabriel we love you!

**Black Smoke Go Brrrr:** You were my favourite, Gabriel

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Thanks auntie, appreciate it

**Black Smoke Go Brrrr:** Well Gabriel was the most chaotic one and therefore was the most fun

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** THANK YOU

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** At least SOMEONE FUCKING appreciated me

**Impala67:** So Amara?

**Black Smoke Go Brrrr:** Yes

**I’ve Connected Them:** Hi!

**Black Smoke Go Brrrr:** Hi?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Imma send a list with everyone’s usernames

**Black Smoke Go Brrrr:** Okay?

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Alex can you add her to the Hunger Games chat for whenever we do that again

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Aight

**Hunger Games Simulator**

**_I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011)_ ** _ has added  _ **_Black Smoke Go Brrrr_ ** _ to the chat _

**I’ve Connected Them:** I’ll add the other princes

**_I’ve Connected Them_ ** _ has added  _ **_Asmodeus_ ** _ ,  _ **_IDGAF_ ** _ and  _ **_Boss Bitch_ ** _ to the chat _

**Boss Bitch:** *Sigh* Why are you the way that you are

**_You Didn’t Connect Shit_ ** _ has added  _ **_Hallelujah by Panic! At The Disco (2015)_ ** _ ,  _ **_A Silent Voice_ ** _ and  _ **_British Accent_ ** _ to the chat _

**House of Vibes**

**I’ve Connected Them:** ALRIGHT EVERYONE’S SORTED

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** There’s 39 of us and the simulator only has 24, 36 and 48 so either we find 9 more people or 3 people miss it

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** NO YOU CANNOT SIGN YOURSELF OUT WE WILL PICK

**Fuck off:** FUCK

**[10:28]**

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** So...

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** How’s everyone going?

**Fuck off:** After all the shit you’ve done, terribly

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** I think we’ll all die of a heart attack soon because of the shit you, Charlie and Meg do

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Welp

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Not stopping

**I’ve Connected Them:** Then perish

**[13:24]**

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Y’all remember those Santa Clause movies?

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** OH MY GOD YES

**It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2001):** Yo those were the shit

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** I loved those movies

**I’ve Connected Them:** What Christmas movie is everyone’s favourite?

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** Santa Clause 1

**This Is All Bullshit:** Deadass Santa Clause 2

**The Other Responsible One:** Love Actually

**I’ve Connected Them:** The Grinch

**We saw the ad on craigslist:** Klaus

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** Happiest Season

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Didn’t that like just come out?

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** And?

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Fair enough

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Anyway, Rise of the Guardians even though I don’t think it’s technically Christmas it still counts!!

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Home Alone 1

**Impala67:** Die Hard

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Of course it is

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Krampus cause it’s such a guilty pleasure movie

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** It’s so bad it’s good

**I Don’t Want To Be A Ghost Hunter:** Nightmare Before Christmas

**I’ve Connected Them:** NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS IS A HALLOWEEN MOVIE

**I Don’t Want To Be A Ghost Hunter:** NO FUCK YOU IT’S A CHRISTMAS MOVIE

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** IT’S BOTH

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** IT’S A THANKSGIVING MOVIE

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** JESUS CHRIST THIS IS A MESS

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Mine’s Noelle because I love Anna Kendrick so much

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** MOOD SHE IS A QUEEN AND HER TALENTS WERE WASTED IN TWILIGHT

**Black Smoke Goes Brrr:** We don’t speak of twilight

**I’ve Connected Them:** You know I never thought I’d hear god’s sister’s opinion on twilight but here we are

**Black Smoke Goes Brrr:** Even though it’s not a movie I actually enjoy The Nutcracker ballet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! To those who don’t celebrate Christmas, happy holidays and HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!  
> Don’t ask why but Amara’s a more refined crackhead, fuck it that’s what were going with. ALSO GABRIEL NEEDS MORE LOVE. I LOVE THIS GUY SO MUCH


	34. Chapter 32 - I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002): LU LU LU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So...It's been a while

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Impala67 - Dean  
> Gabriel’s impulse control - Sam  
> We saw the ad on craigslist - Castiel  
> I’m sorry your feelings were hurt princess - Bobby  
> Fuck off - Lucifer  
> Wait until I get out of here - Michael  
> I’ve Connected The Two Dots - Gabriel  
> Why do I put up with this shit? - Raphael  
> King of Hell - Crowley  
> I’ve Connected Them - Meg  
> I’m Awesome - Ruby  
> Fuck the Grand Coven - Rowena  
> The Responsible One - Ellen  
> The Other Responsible One - Jody  
> I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002) - Kevin  
> Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006) - Claire  
> It’s My Life by Bon Jovi (2001) - Jo  
> I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011) - Alex  
> We Don’t Bite by JT Music (2015) - Garth  
> We’re Here For The Cult Stuff - Balthazar  
> I’m the Motherfucking Queen - Abaddon  
> You Didn’t Connect Shit - Charlie  
> All Hail The Watcher - Anna  
> I Am Your Father - Chuck  
> Hannah - Hannah  
> Naomi - Naomi  
> Fuck you Lucifer - Gadreel  
> Alfie - Samandriel  
> The best writer - Metatron  
> Cain - Cain  
> Yellow Eyes - Azazel  
> Razor Boy - Benny  
> IDGAF - Ramiel  
> Boss Bitch - Dagon  
> Asmodeus - Asmodeus  
> A Silent Voice - Eileen  
> British Accent - Mick  
> Hallelujah by Panic! At The Disco (2015) - Jack  
> Black Smoke Go Brrrr - Amara

**House of Vibes [8:15]**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** OH MY GOD I’M TERRIFIED

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** WHY

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I HAVE MY SCHOOL CAPTAIN INTERVIEW TODAY

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** YOU GOT THIS

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** NO I DON’T

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** YES YOU DO

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** #KEVINHYPESQUAD

**Hallelujah by Panic! At The Disco (2015):** YOU GOT THIS KEV!

**[10:39]**

**_You Didn’t Connect Shit_ ** _ has change the chat name to:  _ **_So was anyone going to tell me Chuck was God or was I supposed to work that out myself_ **

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Wait you didn’t know?

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** No

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** Wot?

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** Wait a damn minute

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** Wait a damn fucking minute

**I’m Not A Vampire by Falling in Reverse (2011):** @ **I Am Your Father** huh?

**I Am Your Father:** Yeah?

**I Am Your Father:** Surprise?

**Black Smoke Go Brrrr:** Again with you not telling people shit

**I Am Your Father:** SHUT THE FUCK UP

**Black Smoke Go Brrrr:** YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Wow you guys really are like Michael and Lucifer

**Wait until I get out of here:** WHAT

**Fuck off:** NO

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** nonohesgotapoint.jpg

**[16:00]**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I TOTALLY BOMBED IT

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** NO I’M SURE YOU DID GREAT

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** I FUCKING TRIPPED WHEN I WALKED INTO THE PRINCIPAL’S OFFICE

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** THAT’S NOT TOO BAD

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** AND I KEPT STUMBLING OVER MY WORDS

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** AS LONG AS YOU SAID EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO SAY THAT’S OKAY

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

**I’ve Connected Them:** Kevin you are one of the smartest humans I know

**I’ve Connected Them:** You got this

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Thanks guys

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Wow, who would have thought that an angel and a demon would be making me feel better about my interview

**We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays [00:59]**

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** THE AUTHOR FORGOT TO ADD THE ACE PEOPLE AND SHE IS REALLY SORRY SHE FORGOT SO ACE/ARO PEEPS HERE WE GO

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**_You Didn’t Connect Shit_ ** _ has added  _ **_Why do I put up with this shit?_ ** _ ,  _ **_Wait until I get out of here_ ** _ and  _ **_I Am Your Father_ **

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** WHAT NOW

**Wait until I get out of here:** What

**I Am Your Father:** Umm

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** LGBTIQA+ SAFE SPACE

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** AND/OR RANT SPACE

**Teenagers by My Chemical Romance (2006):** Whenever you want to say something start and end with We’re the gays, we’re the gays, we’re the gays

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Okay???

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** So what are your sexuality and/or pronouns if you’re comfortable sharing them?

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Uh

**Why do I put up with this shit?:** Ace/Aro and he/him

**Wait until I get out of here:** Ace and also he/him

**Wait until I get out of here:** Adam is also he/him and he’s Pan

**I Am Your Father:** Aro and whatever you want I don’t really care

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** COOL

**So was anyone going to tell me Chuck was God or was I supposed to work that out myself [23:54]**

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Sieben, Sieben, ai lyu lyu, Sieben, Sieben, ein, zwei, Sieben, Sieben, ai lyu lyu, Nu ein, zwei, drei, Tanzen!

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** LU LU LU

**Impala67:** WHAT

**Impala67:** THE FUCK

**We’re Here For The Cult Stuff:** Gabriel and I showed him Eurovision

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Et je cours, je cours, je cours, I've lost l'amour, l'amour, l'amour Je suis perdu, here without you, and I'm crazy, seul à Paris Je tu le manque, sans toi I can't, et sous la pluie, I feel sorry Champs Elysées, alone, la nuit, le Moulin Rouge, I feel guilty

**Impala67:** WHY DOES HE KNOW ALL THE WORDS

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** Hatrið mun sigra Evrópa hrynja Vefur lyga Rísið úr öskunni Sameinuð sem eitt

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** Allt sem ég sá Runnu niður tár Allt sem ég gaf Eitt sinn gaf Ég gaf þér allt

**Impala67:** HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

**I’ve Connected The Two Dots:** THEY SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM

**I’m Just A Kid by Simple Plan (2002):** 1273, down to Rockefeller Street Life is marchin' on do you feel that 1273, down to Rockefeller Street Everything is more than surreal

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** I’m so concerned

**Gabriel’s impulse control:** Can we please keep Gabriel and Balthazar away from Kevin? PLEASE?!

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** HARD

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** ROCK

**You Didn’t Connect Shit:** HALLELUJAH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Kevin’s story is based on a friend of mine who ended up getting school captain at my previous school.


End file.
